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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Have you recovered from infidelity?

78 replies

catwalker · 28/03/2010 15:08

Is there anyone out there who has recovered their relationship with their husband/wife after infidelity? For so many people infidelity seems to mark the beginning of the end. But what if neither of you wants it to be?

Briefly, my husband had sex with another woman, who is also married, about 18 months ago. They were flirting with each other for a few months beforehand and eventually had a couple of hours in a hotel together. I believe him when he says it didn't happen again, but he carried on responding to her texts afterwards. His explanation for this is that the OW was obsessed with him and, as we see her socially, he wanted to try and 'normalise' their relationship in case she decided to spill the beans or got upset and aroused suspicions. ('Oh yeah' I hear you say) From the things she's done and said since I found out, I do believe she was/is obsessed with him and do believe my husband has no feelings for her and that he loves me very much. He says he was flattered by her attentions initially and enjoyed the excitement, but then came to his senses.

I believe he loves me; we have always been very good together; I trust him never to do this again ('fool' I hear you all shout)and I want to believe our future relationship will be stronger than ever. Or am I just deluding myself? But at the moment I'm finding it impossible to get past the hurt and pain he has caused me and our children, and above all the sheer disbelief that my lovely, thoughtful, considerate lover and best friend could do this thing. The last thing I want to do is set myself up for more hurt. Anyone gone through something similar?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 11/04/2010 19:24

Perhaps getting over an infidelity by your partner is like a bereavement or some other sort of loss, like a miscarriage, for example

I dunno

What seems to resound for me is the loss of something...you can never forget it, but you could learn to live with it

Given the right support, the right conditions and feeling that your partner is equally working as hard as you to get over the loss of what you had before

megmums · 11/04/2010 23:23

I'm nearly 8 months post confession, very very difficult, but getting there. It does change you, i am much stronger and 100 times more assertive with my H. He knows he has to change too, and seems to be trying.

What strikes me is how common infidelity is, it's alarming really. I mean, you marry someone with such high expectations, when more than half of married couples end up having affairs.

I hope that you will get to a better place catwalker. Thinking of you. x

HappyWoman · 12/04/2010 08:16

abdella - i am with you - it is a case of learning to live with it.
I read a book that said it was like being in a different marriage - not the fairy tale one you had before.

It is a bit like christmas - remember the magic of when you believed in Santa - but one day you found it was not real. Christmas was never the same again but not in a bad way.

It is like a loss - the loss of the 'perfect fairytale' image of marriage - but if you grieve for that then you can move on.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 12/04/2010 13:09

It's a shame the OP has disappeared again - hope you're okay Catwalker.

catwalker · 12/04/2010 13:33

The Counsellor I saw briefly, and most of the literature I have read on the subject, does refer to the discovery of an affair as similar to a bereavement. And the emotions that follow are apparently similar - shock, disbelief, anger, panic etc.

I'm struggling with the concept of 'forgiveness' as I don't really know what it means. To me the word 'forgive' implies getting over something/putting it behind you/forgetting it even - and I'm not sure I will ever do that or that that would be the right thing to do. However, I do love my husband very much and I do believe he feels the same way about me. We have had some terrible days recently and some wonderful days and I'm just hoping that the hurt will recede over time and won't keep engulfing me so regularly and without warning. I think his pain is even greater than mine as he is responsible for the hurt he has caused me. He is a good person (much better than me!)and he can't believe the chaos he unleashed.

I did get a copy of Not just Friends but I'm afraid I found it very unhelpful as it focused on people who developed emotional relationships which they felt in control of, but which then turned into affairs.

My dh assures me that if he had felt any great emotional attachment to the ow he would have run a mile as he would have realised the potential for disaster. His version, and he's sticking to it(!), is that the ow came on to him. His ego was boosted at a time when he was feeling depressed and old and it was exciting to think that someone found him sexually attractive (other than me!) She was offering 'no strings' sex and he resisted for a while, but then thought 'what the hell'. He felt it was something he could keep separate from his real life as the ow is also married with a child so had as much to lose. (I'm not excusing him, just saying what he felt at the time). Unfortunately after one very awful (he says) sexual encounter she became very quickly very emotionally attached. The more he resisted the more obsessed she seemed to get. I can tell from the things he has told me and the way he talks about her that there was little emotional attachment on his part.

Since it happened we have grown so much closer in so many ways - physically and mentally in particular. We have talked and talked and talked about things we should have talked about before. I grieve for the loss of the marriage I had before, but, when I'm feeling positive, I am looking forward with great optimism to a stronger and closer relationship with someone who is a wonderful husband and father, but who had a brief period of madness and stupidity. Unfortunately, because of what has happened,I am having just as many times when I feel very insecure. When the unbelievable has happened it's difficult not to look at everything that seems true and question whether or not it actually is. I keep going over the things I think I know and trying to pick holes in them/look for more than I've been told. But dh has told me some brutally honest details which make me think, "well, if he's told me x, he'd hardly lie about y".

OP posts:
countingto10 · 12/04/2010 14:42

Catwalker, I know exactly how you feel - I had a pretty awful weekend and I'm a year down the line. Perservere with the book, there are good chapters on healing the marriage and communication etc and how to cope with flashbacks, obsessions etc. Even though my DH was not emotionally involved with the OW, he thought he was for that 8/10 weeks. And whatever their reasons, they still did it and that is what we have to come to terms with. The secrets and lies etc.

I think time is a big factor in healing but I am having a big problem with obsessing about the OW atm. I almost feel as if I want to see her (not to speak to) but just to see what she looks like, how she acts, what she talks like etc. Have seen her picture on Facebook though.

Your feelings etc will continually change - I can go from hurt and sadness to raging anger in a very short time atm - I am hoping it's just because I am not coping with the anniversaries atm.

Good luck and keep posting - it is a horrible, uncertain time.

catwalker · 12/04/2010 14:56

Countingto10. I know what you mean about obsessing. Which is ironic as the ow has been presented to me as obsessive - bordering on bunny boiling! It's odd that, when it came out, the behaviour of dh, ow and ow's dh was extreme and I stayed calm. I now feel that they've all calmed down and I'm just getting started! I do know the ow a little which in many ways makes it harder, but in others makes it a bit easier because she is rather insipid in appearance and personality so my imagination isn't running riot and creating a picture of some goddess!

I also find completely random bits of the saga will pop into my head and I will start obsessing about why/what/how/when etc. Fortunately dh said from the outset that he would go over it as many times as I wanted, whenever I wanted it if would help me. Though now he's saying that he thinks it's doing me no good and I'm making things worse in my head that they were. My/our big problem is that he doesn't really understand why he behaved the way he did. So that means I don't either and I feel I have to make sense of things in order to deal with them and move on. It would almost be easier if he said that he had formed a strong emotional attachment or fallen in love with the ow and couldn't fight his feelings. But he says she meant nothing and it was all about him, not her, and recapturing lost feelings of excitement/having his ego boosted/doing something dangerous when he's always so good etc Sometimes it feels like I'm trying to make him admit to feelings/motives which he says he didn't have just to try and make sense of things.

OP posts:
WhenwillIfeelnormal · 12/04/2010 15:13

It's such a shame you have never "seen" anything like texts or E mails that would give you more information, Catwalker. It means that apart from what your H is saying, you are "unsighted" on the affair build-up period, the event itself and its aftermath.

I could have written your last post at the same stage post discovery-day. My H was saying exactly the same things. The OW came on to him, was offering no-strings sex, he thought it was safe as she was married, he wasn't emotionally involved with her so didn't see it as marriage-threatening, he thought "where's the harm?", the sex was awful....

Your H has probably been brought up on a diet of received wisdom that when a woman is unfaithful, their spouses obsess about the sex - whereas when a man has been unfaithful, his spouse obsesses about the emotions involved. Therefore, on discovery, many men downplay the emotions involved, because they believe that this will hurt their partner more. These are the "well-intentioned lies" I was referring to downthread.

It's a strange thing when a man would rather his wife thought that he was shallow enough to accept no-strings sex, than develop any sort of emotional connection with another woman he's having sex with, but in a nutshell, that's what your H is telling you. Does that fit with the man you know?

It didn't fit with mine - and although it took a while to unpick, it was evident that contrary to what my H was saying (and even believed himself) there was an emotional connection. The day he admitted that if OW had declared her hand when they were first in contact, he would have run a mile, was when we both had a lightbulb moment.

My H needed to be wooed and "chased" - and in the process, needed to feel adored, desired and respected - before he could give himself permission to cross the line. Like your H though, he told himself that he didn't have deep feelings for this woman and regarded it as a bit of escapist fun.

Look, I don't doubt that your H didn't love this woman, or was even in love with her. I don't doubt that she did the running, I don't doubt that the sex was dreadful. I don't doubt that he always loved you and that there was nothing much wrong with your marriage, beyond the usual stresses and strains. Neither should you. Everything your H is telling you is congruent with that.

What I do doubt is that he never had any feelings whatsoever for her, or that he didn't hugely enjoy being wooed, chased and obsessed over.

It might seem from what he's saying about her now, that he had no emotional attachment to her at all, at any time. That's because he's speaking from a position of knowledge about her true personality - no doubt aided and abetted by you being able to point out what a horrible woman she really is. Most men in your H's position go through an "awakening" phase like this when the OW's behaviour is held up to independent scrutiny for the first time - and they "learn" to hate her as much as their spouse does. This is absolutely normal and probably feels necessary to you at the moment, but in reality it's evading how "horrible" your H was too.

There comes a time when you both have to admit that both parties were horrible - to the two betrayed spouses and the DCs involved - and that one doesn't have the monopoly on ghastly behaviour.

You say he "resisted for a while" - that's what my H said - 10 months in his case. But in reality, it was a half-hearted resistance. We both know full well that an emphatic "no, I'm happily married and I'm just not interested" would have caused a permanent retreat on the part of the OW, don't we?

The "resisting" period is in reality, the period that "nice" people need to give themselves the permission to do something they know to be wrong. They also love the feeling of being chased and wooed and what's more, this aids and abets them passing the responsibility for their infidelity over to the OW - she chased me, wouldn't take no for an answer, therefore I can't be blamed as much, can I?

I think it took my H by surprise that I was feeling worse at his account than the truth that there were some feelings involved. But actually, it made far more sense to me, in terms of the person he is - and whom I had known at that point for 26 years - that it had taken more than one explicit text to persuade him to throw away lifelong and cherished fidelity.

If you do believe it's as he says, I'm not surprised that Not Just Friends fails to resonate, but I have a feeling it will one day, so keep dipping into it and re-reading it - both of you. At the very least, given what your H is saying, the chapters on attitudes to fidelity, attachment styles, the story of the marriage etc. still have enormous bearing on your situation.

Forgiving does not mean forgetting - and you are nowhere near that yet, so I wouldn't even be thinking of that at the moment. Even getting on for 2 years down the line, there are still things I have yet to forgive - and I don't put myself under any pressure to do so.

Remember this truth though - we can only forgive when we know what there is to forgive.

I have a feeling that perhaps you and your H suspect that posters' responses on your thread might be delaying your recovery - and that's why you disappear in between posts.

I want to reassure you that although they might bring you some discomfort - and might not be what you want to read - they are written with the best of intentions and with enormous hope and faith in your recovery. You've got a tremendous amount going for you and I think yours will be a marriage that can survive this and get much stronger.

But it's really difficult to do this without help and support from people who have been through it themselves.

countingto10 · 12/04/2010 15:17

I think the book is good in that respect because it does say you have to put aside your own perceptions and accept what he says as being the truth if it adds up in every other sense.

I kept asking my H why he did certain things because what he was saying didn't add up. Kept saying he didn't like her, she wasn't attractive etc, she didn't have a nice personality. We came to an understanding in many things ie he is a "rescuer", he was attracted to the feelings she ignited in him, boost to his ego, he is a risk taker, he was having a "crisis" at the time etc but still one thing didn't add up. At every opportunity during that awful time, he kept going to her so if he didn't like her, find her attractive etc why did he keep going to her. We both came to the conclusion that he fancied himself "in love" with her and he is a "monogomous infidel" (look that one up in the book !!!!!) ie he could only be with one woman at a time and couldn't compartmentilize. For that period the OW became to him his primary partner which is why he "had to" leave me and DC. Fortunately (or unfortunately ) she showed her true colours very quickly and with the fantasy bubble burst, reality hit him like a ton of bricks.

Unfortunately though during the time he was "besotted" with her, he was absolutely vile to me which is something he now really struggles with. That he put her above me and the DC, the business, everything.

We have another weekend away planned in a couple of weeks without the DC which will hopefully make a better memory for me as it coincides with Discovery Day for me and a time when OW sent me some pretty nasty texts (which I didn't reply to) and voicemails (my DH gave her my mobile no. as he was scared of her ) as she obviously realised her nice little love affair and future she had planned with my DH was imploding big time.

Sorry for the waffle but it does help chatting to people who really know what it is like.

HappyWoman · 12/04/2010 15:20

catwalker - there are a couple of things which i see as 'problems'. If he cant understand why it happened how does he know (or you) that it will not happen again - epecially if an attractive young woman approaches him??

Is he willing to try to find the reason it did happen and then to work on that area - it may be you both need to do some work to make the marriage safer from affairs.

Wanting to know all the details is ok - it is because your gut instinct probably knew something was wrong and your brain needs to process that so you can trust yourself next time - things that dont add up now will drive you mad and you will not be able to set your instinct controls again iyswim.

I also believe that knowing as much as you can about the ow is normal. I did a lot of research and found out an awful lot - at first my h was not really willing (his memory failed him a bit ) so i privately found out a lot. He was scared i was going to use it - but he had to trust me on that one didnt he .
I gave me (and to some extent does now) a feeling of power over her - she entered my life and found out a lot about me and so i have every right to do the same to her.
There is a lot of public information out there - and if you are willing to use a PI there is a vast amount.
Dont be frightened by her now though - that is power.

If your h objects or says you are mad ect - it may be that he is hiding something.

Anyway good luck

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 12/04/2010 16:22

Catwalker your H might also be getting hung up on the phrase "emotional attachment", believing that you are suggesting he loved and cared for the OW. My H was the same, but then his definition of "love" was what he felt for me - and since his feelings for OW came nowhere near that, he satisfied himself - at the time and for ages thereafter - that there had been no attachment to her at all.

However, if someone is telling you how wonderful you are, how gorgeous you are, what a fantastic lover you are etc., it is actually pretty hard to dislike that person! My H does remember having negative thoughts about the OW's intelligence, her appearance and later on, her personality and values, but at other times remembers thinking that she was a nice, kind, gentle person and the victim of an unhappy marriage to a lazy and selfish man....

What your H feels now about the OW is not what he thought then, I can guarantee it. It's pretty obvious that he cared for her feelings somewhat, given that he went on contacting her and "being nice" for 18 months. He can say that was to avoid a Fatal Attraction type disclosure, but some of that would have been so as not to hurt too - and well, you know why I also think he was responding to her contact...

You can believe and trust him when he says that he wasn't in love with her - but it seems improbable to me that there were no feelings at all.

Maybe if you give your H "permission" to admit to some connection and attachment to her, you will be over another hurdle? But explain what you mean. Not love, not "in love" - maybe he would even baulk at the word
"infatuation" - but some feelings for a woman who clearly adored him. He would be a pretty cold fish if he had been totally unmoved by that - and he doesn't sound like that sort of man at all.

PrincessHolly · 12/04/2010 18:52

A similar thing happened to me although it wasn't an affair.
At the time we were ttc so we were certainly having lots of sex. I'm not sure if he found it all stressful, I'm not excusing him, just wondering. Anyway on a business trip he went to a lapdancing club and had a 'private dance'. Basically he started to have sex with her and then just had oral sex. The day after this happened I found out I was pregnant and texted him as I was so excited. When dd was about a year old we went away for the weekend and it all came out. Apparently he had been feeling extremely guilty about it and was terrified that I would leave him. I did forgive him and we subsequently had another child.
However although I have forgiven him I am finding it hard to forget. When he initialises sex I find it a complete turn-off, it reminds me too much of what we did. We only have sex when I initialise it. He is still terrified that I will leave him and he knows that he has permanently changed our relationship. I just feel so disappointed. I thought I had married someone who wouldn't do that kind of thing and tbh felt a bit smug when I heard of other men doing similar things. Then my dh did exactly the same weak-minded thing and fell permanently off his pedestal.
I still love him very much and he is my best friend as well as my soulmate. I wouldn't leave him and we have overcome the situation but I would be lying if I said it was easy and that it hadn't changed how I feel about him.

AnyFucker · 12/04/2010 20:14

that is a very sad story holly

a very sad indictment of lapdancing clubs (who said that kinda thing doesn't go on those clubs...some very naive people...that is who)

and a sad indictment of how good men can have a stupid, weak moment and nearly throw it all away

it is testament only to your strength of character that he still has his family around him

megmums · 12/04/2010 20:55

There has been mention in previous threads about the 'fairytale' ideal of marriage, and it is so true. But if you go back in history, infidelty has always existed and always will. It's just now men who wouldn't have had the confidence to cheat, (like me H) can get more of a chance due to modern media - email/chat rooms - and for my H, text messaging. Being married today is much more difficult i believe.

My H was on a pedestal then fell off, it's quite sad really, but i guess we all have to make the best of what we do have. It does get easier Catwalker, but you will have bad days, flashbacks, obsessing - but these occurences get less and you start to feel better in time.

HappyWoman · 13/04/2010 08:16

I know it is a generalisation but i do think far more men do cheat than we ever know.
Just look at the number of prositutes/massage palours and lapdancing clubs. And they are just the ones that take money!!

I was not niave as i have worked in the health service and seen too much .

I do think in some ways it is easier these days - when we all knew who lived in our street and there were the 'curtain twitchers' people often knew.
I think too that woman would get a lot of support from their neighbours.

I think that is why i am happy to be open with people - no-one has a perfect marriage it is a shame that we feel we have to portray that to the world for fear of being judged.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 13/04/2010 13:36

Any thoughts Catwalker??

catwalker · 13/04/2010 14:08

WWIFN - only that it's difficult to explain any more without me giving too much information out on a public forum. I think to a degree it's a question of what is meant by "emotional attachment". Yes, I'm sure he had an attachment of sorts to her but I don't believe it was anything great and I do think it's possible that it was more about the feelings she enabled him to recreate/recapture than a direct response to her. I know that the contact he had with her was actually very, very limited and I think it was probably an image of something/a triggering of feelings more to do with him than with her that he responded to rather than the reality of her. I can remember quite recently feeling quite sad that I would never have sex with another man. I don't want to have sex with another man but it's very sad to think that I will never again experience the excitement of a new relationship and feel really good about myself because somebody else wants me and finds me attractive. I can see how it might be about recapturing feelings you had years ago rather than embarking on something new. That probably doesn't make sense but lots of things don't at the moment. No doubt many people think I'm burying my head in the sands and not facing up to the fact that my dh is a good man therefore any relationship must have involved a strong emotional attachment. In a way, I could cope with that better, and have said as much to him, as it would make more sense. It's actually harder to think that he would risk our relationship and the happiness of our children for someone who didn't mean much.

Incidentally, I'm not ignoring your posts, I just have a very busy life and have also just come back from a week in an internet free zone!

OP posts:
WhenwillIfeelnormal · 13/04/2010 14:20

Catwalker okay

Post again when you want some help.

catwalker · 13/04/2010 14:51

WWIFN - we have now been given the name of a good Counsellor. DH is very much in 'fix it' mode at the moment but last night I was in two minds about whether or not to go ahead with counselling - especially after our disastrous experience a few weeks ago. I am very confident that we both want to be together and that we are capable of rebuilding our relationship, so I wondered what the point would be. However, after a few hours talking I decided that it would be helpful because I don't know why it happened, however much I speculate, and I would like to understand things better. I would also like to develop some 'coping' strategies for when the bad feelings creep up on me and for when, as I unavoidably will, encounter the ow. I think it will help immensely being able to tell someone the full story - which doesn't fit with any of the experiences I've read about on this forum - without worrying that the ow might be a mumsnet user and recognise me instantly!

OP posts:
WhenwillIfeelnormal · 13/04/2010 15:06

That's good about the counselling. Might be worth your H thinking about having some on his own too though.

Yes, I understand your fears about recognition. Luckily it was unlikely that the OW in my case used this forum, as she wasn't a Mum and I hope for her kids' sake she never becomes one .

Are you able to say, without giving details, whether your H has protected you against the OW's taunts and given her a final, unambiguous message? It's a blessing and a curse that you have to see her - but in a strange way, it might give you a kind of closure too.

Talking about the experience and your feelings will be time well spent, believe me. However much you know you will get past this and can even see positives, the hurt is profound and sometimes shocking in its intensity. Coping strategies are good, but do also allow yourself to grieve, for that is what it is - an unimaginable grief.

I well know that "fix it" tendency and it's to be encouraged, but at other times he will need just to listen.

Can you share why the last counsellor was so bad?

catwalker · 13/04/2010 16:34

In 'fix it' mode, when everything blew up dh looked straight away for someone we could talk to to help us through things. The first session was quite helpful - although dh said he felt the Counsellor was critical of him. It was helpful because she made him stop answering everything I said with, "but it was only...", "but I didn't mean it like that....", "but it only happened once...." etc. She made him face up to some of the facts of what had happened. She also supported me when I criticised him for not describing things in the first person (ie, he would say, "and then the meeting at x took place" when I wanted to hear him say, "and then I went to meet her at x".

But the second session was a week later and we had made considerable progress on our own - or so I felt. However, instead of discussing what had happened, if we'd moved on over the past week, she picked up where we'd left off and stirred up lots of emotion in me. She said it was necessary. What happened was we started arguing as we left her house and it built up into one of the worst evenings of my life. I lost it completely and did and said some stupid and dangerous things. I also felt she was counselling 'by numbers' and I could almost predict what her responses would be to things I said.

I think perhaps it's better in these situations to let the dust settle a little before launching into counselling. I have a clearer idea now what I would want to get out of it.

DH has made it abundantly clear that he wants nothing more to do with her.

OP posts:
WhenwillIfeelnormal · 13/04/2010 17:31

Yes, I think counselling is often useless in the initial aftermath when the shock is still so profound. I nodded sagely at your H's use of passive language - I remember getting that too. Plus, when I asked questions about what he had said to OW, I got lots of "I would have said x, or I would have said y" instead of "I said..."

Language is fascinating isn't it? It tells us so much about a person's mindset.

Glad an unequivocal message has gone to OW, but hope she knows/gets to know why he is committed to you.

Can I recommend you ask some questions at the first session to ensure the counsellor doesn't sit on the fence too much and does challenge? Your H might find this uncomfortable and perhaps too critical of him, but I don't think a counsellor who accepts everything a client says is useful in infidelity situations. If there is any denial there (and to be frank, there usually is) you might need someone other than you to tease it out.

Something else I want you to think about is that your H having some therapy on his own can be really helpful, because so often in these situations, the infidelity is the tip of the iceberg for all sorts of other non-marriage threatening behaviours that in retrospect, give some clues to how the betraying spouse felt "entitled" to break their marriage vows. However, with a good couples counsellor, you might be able to do this together.

What we learned through our own efforts really was that it was pointless looking at the infidelity in isolation and so we reviewed various issues in our long marriage. My H identified through this that he had actually been very selfish throughout our marriage and the affair was an extreme example of this. So he resolved to work on that flaw and of course, that meant that our whole relationship radically improved.

Affairs are very often manifestations of selfishness - and while I understand your H's assertion that he had been "good" all his life and this was a chance to be "bad" for once (my H said the same) - the whole "why not?" question is rooted in selfishness.

I echo Happy Woman's advice downthread that unless your H really does get to the bottom of "why" he might never eradicate the flaws in him that led to this. Not doing something again is not the same as obliterating the need.

In reality, true progress is made when it's as important to your H that he gets answers as it is to you. In these early weeks and months, that rarely happens and the unfaithful party usually wants to smooth things over and "get back to normal" - even suggesting out of apparent concern and kindness to you that it's doing you no good raking it all over again.

At this stage though, it is virtually impossible for the betrayed spouse to "move on" and not talk about it. Your entire universe feels out of kilter and nothing seems "normal" any more. Everything is framed by timelines - that picture was taken before disaster struck; that one was taken when I was unknowingly being deceived...

To have to bottle all that up is hellish.

catwalker · 13/04/2010 18:10

Excellent advice WWIFN - thank you very much. That is an interesting point about why he felt entitled to break his marriage vows (but still maintain the marriage) and one definitely worth exploring. It's not something I could do - even if I thought I could get away with it - as for me the guilty secret would destroy my relationship with him. I am sure there are a lot of potentially unpalatable things he will need to admit to himself before he can admit them to me. He has had and will continue to have some counselling independently of me.

OP posts:
WhenwillIfeelnormal · 13/04/2010 18:34

Oh good

Hope you'll keep posting with your thoughts - and an update.

HappyWoman · 13/04/2010 18:38

catwalker I hope you find a good counsellor. We used a couple - the first although was good and probably did help us save our marriage we both think she was too much on H side.
She was at times harsh though and actually h stormed off a couple of times as he thought it was a total waste of time to go over the past - and his past had nothing to do with what happened.

Slowly though we both saw that he too had been selfish throughout the whole of our marriage and probably through all of his life. He was brought up as an only child by his mum alone. He never had to share and got all his needs met. He also had a very serious illness in his early adulthood and probably should have died - so he feels he has to live for today - so again 'why not'?

He certainly felt entitled to do whatever he wanted in almost all areas of his life - most of this was ok as i was happy to go along with it - we had a lovely lifestyle because of it.

Now however the balance has changed and i will not be bullied into doing things just because he wants to.

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