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Original poster

anyone broken up had some space then got back together again

24 replies

sanchpanch · 20/07/2005 08:56

was just hoping for any positive stories, where people have had a break from a relationship then got back together again, some of my friends have!

I have split with my boyfreind 4 weeks ago, we have 2 children, 7 and 2, i dont want to split, he doesnt know, so i am wondering if we had some space apart maybe we could rekindle things in the future, I am not holding out for this or anything but it would be nice to think we could as we have 2 children together, Any real life experiences of this, and did it make the relationship stronger, thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
sanchpanch · 20/07/2005 09:30

anyone any experience of this??

OP posts:
MascaraOHara · 20/07/2005 09:32

I did but my situation was very different. FWIW it's working out for us.

Original poster
sanchpanch · 20/07/2005 11:18

bump

OP posts:
jenk1 · 20/07/2005 12:19

me and dh split once-at my instigation-i needed time and space and it made me realise how much i needed/loved him and it has made us stronger as a couple in some ways it was a good thing-i,ll never do it again i know that for sure

Earlybird · 20/07/2005 12:30

do you mean he's not sure if he wants to break up when you post "he doesn't know"?

Original poster
sanchpanch · 20/07/2005 21:36

He says he wants a break but that to me means spliting up, and he agrees i cant be left hanging on for him to make a decision, but i do hold out hope that we may get back together and it will be stronger and better than it ever has been, at the moment i am truly devasted and just trying to carry on for the sake of the girls, when i feel like curling up and dying!!

OP posts:
paolosgirl · 20/07/2005 21:47

We did - I won't go into details, but it was a hard time, esp for dh. That was 9 years and 2 kids ago! I think it can work, but only if you're both committed. Good luck - I really hope it works out for you....

Original poster
sanchpanch · 20/07/2005 21:56

thanks for that, i guess if its meant to be it will be, i am trying to believe that anyhow!!

OP posts:
haven · 21/07/2005 01:30

yes, dh and i split several times. matter of fact he even dated someone while split.

Original poster
sanchpanch · 23/07/2005 16:18

bump

OP posts:
morningpaper · 23/07/2005 16:21

We did, but saw a couples counsellor together once a fortnight while we were living apart. Really helped us a lot. I'd recommend it, if only to keep lines of communication open.

spidermama · 23/07/2005 16:24

Dh and I split then got back together again but that was 10 years ago before the kids came along.

I can recommend Relate. I wish you luck. x

ScrewballMuppet · 23/07/2005 16:24

we split but still had to live the same house, we went to relate once a week for few months and it really helped, were still together and thouogh annoy eacth other to smitherines at times we do get on well together now

Original poster
sanchpanch · 23/07/2005 16:27

thanks for replies, i have suggested relate but got response who do we know who it has worked for, (now i can give an answer)
Ia m going to counselling on my own this week, one of the perks of working for NHS free counselling!!!

OP posts:
spidermama · 23/07/2005 17:06

Relate was suggested by a friend of mine who completely turned her marriage around on it.

It worked very well for dh and me because we now have tools with which to settle rows and understand better where they are coming from.

We used to feel overwhelmed and couldn't understand why certain subjects would blow up in our faces. Relate helped us understand and things are much calmer and more grown up around here now.

Good luck with your counselling whatever you decide.

morningpaper · 23/07/2005 17:37

I agree with spidermama - we found it gave us the tools to sort out conflicts. It's still difficult at times but we know the importance of resolving matters.

tortoiseshell · 23/07/2005 17:42

Split up with dh right back at the beginning, after going out for about 4 months, split up for about 6 months, then got back together, married for nearly 7 years now. Did leave some residual problems though. If you have kids then I think it's probably important to not mess with their understanding of the situation

ogri · 25/07/2005 16:32

me and dh split for 3 months ish.
it was before we got married or had dd
we are stronger now than ever before.
i couldnt ever think about not being with him now.

Original poster
sanchpanch · 28/07/2005 09:18

bump bump

OP posts:
fimblespants · 28/07/2005 09:35

Hi Sanchpanch, sorry things are grim at the mo.

Me and my dh have been married for 10 years next week. He left me last year while I was pg with (unplanned)dd2, after having problems getting on for a while (couple of years). Although he said he didn't love me any more, he also felt quite soon after he left that leaving may have been a mistake and we saw a lot of each other until i gave birth in jan. Since then, he has barely spent a night away from us, we are going away as a family (at his instigation) for our anniversary, and we are in te process of building our own house.

It has been hard. It still is, sometimes. I've had to be very forgiving! But, he is the father f my children and i still love him, so i've had to let him go, to come back again.

It can work out. What i can tell you for sure is that, whatever happens, you can be happy again if you really want to be.

Wishing you all the best.

charleepeters · 28/07/2005 09:38

I was with dp for a year we were 'childhood sweethearts' then basicly sounds bad but i got scared he wanted so much and i wanted to be free so i was a bitch to him and he dumped me then i had a year out being a sad teenager living my life round drugs basiclly he still used to phone me and we both knew we still wanted to be together i think he understood i needed time to realise what an arse i was being. then i grew up and we got back together now 3 years later we have a gorgeous ds and were really happy so it can help.

Original poster
sanchpanch · 28/07/2005 11:10

thankyou for your replies, you have given me some hope!!!! at the moment i am just trying to let hime do his own thing, and i txt him once a day to let him know girls are ok. and thats it, it is so hard cause we used to talk so much, when we were together, but i do beleive like you said , i have to let him go to hopefully come back again,

thankyou again for your replies i really appreciate them ,

OP posts:
Original poster
sanchpanch · 30/07/2005 15:08

Any weekenders with any experience???

OP posts:
shhhh · 31/07/2005 22:05

Hi, just read your thread. Some positive news for you...
Approx 4 years ago, (approx 4 years after going out with each other) and a year after moving in our first home together I split with my dh (then my bf), we sold our home and continued with our seperate lives..anyway after 3 months apart we got back together, moved in another home and made a fresh start. We have since moved again, got married last July & now have an 10 week old dd (after 4 years of trying ) We have been together in total 9.5 years... HTH...It does happen I think we needed the break to realise how much we loved each other and how much we had taken each other for granted. BTW given all we have gone through dh is most definately my best friend

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