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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

A question for Dittany

123 replies

roseability · 11/03/2010 19:29

Sorry to target you personally but I have noticed your name on a few threads of interest and you seem to know your stuff

Basically I am trying to stir up an interest in feminism and feminist thinking/discussion in my bookclub. I am tired of the usual 'chic lit' that gets recommended, the type that revolves around romance and needing a man (yawn). I also want to stretch my brain a bit after a long period of domesticity and motherhood (I feel chained to the kitchen sink!)

I have recommended Sheila Jeffreys Beauty and Misogyny and they seem to be keen. One is an English Literature lecturer, who is widely read in feminist literature. She hasn't read this though. Do you think this is a good recommendation? Is it maybe too hard hitting for a first venture into feminism (I haven't read much myself other than stuff about the medicalization of chilbirth to allow male control of pregnant women as part of my degree).

Hope you don't mind me asking. Your comments on the thread about pornography were a defining moment for me. I had no idea, and I wept for my baby daughter and vowed I would educate myself more so that I can teach her to respect herself and never be controlled by men.

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BitOfFun · 11/03/2010 19:33

Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy is good, I think, and very current and readable. It's in paperback now and available quite cheaply from Amazon etc.

Ewe · 11/03/2010 19:47

New Feminism by Natasha Walter is a good read, possibly not book club material though.

BitOfFun · 11/03/2010 19:59

Apparently Walter has conceded that she was being wildly optimistic in that one, Ewe, and the new one, Living Dolls is more circumspect. I haven't read it yet though.

You can't beat some of the second-wave stuff to get a real feel for the history and hopes of theu movement though. I read Betty Freidan's 'The Feminine Mystique' first, I think, and it's still relevant. As a novel, you really need to try Marilyn French's 'The Women's Room'- it is a rollicking good read, and gives a real flavour of the times and the psychological changes women went through as they moved from fifties suburbia to radicalising in the sixties and seventies. I'm tempted to re-read it actually- I've got really good memories of it.

dittany · 11/03/2010 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mathanxiety · 11/03/2010 20:19

I think leafing through any teen girl magazine with your book club and reading tripe like "Be yourself - the thing guys most like about you is your self-confidence" (oh the irony) would be very revealing, very thought-provoking.

I suggest Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher. If any of the members have DDs, it's a sobering book, a good consciousness-raiser.

junglist1 · 11/03/2010 20:41

There's Being Married, Doing Gender by Caroline Dryden which is interesting, it's based on interviews of married couples and examines how they talk about gender roles etc.

junglist1 · 11/03/2010 20:43

Also Ann Wetherall is an interesting read if you're interested in the role language plays in keeping women "in their place". The book is Gender, Language and Discourse

SugarMousePink · 11/03/2010 20:45

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cheerfulvicky · 11/03/2010 20:48

A book I liked very much was The Edible Woman by Margaret Atwood. From my memory of the introduction/blurb, Atwood wrote the book (her first) as feminism was beginning to take hold but before it really got started. She never intended it to be viewed as a feminist work, although I think it now is.

I found it gripping and very thought provoking. Just as a novel it is excellent, and I would highly recommend it on that alone. But it sounds like it might be what your book club is after.

OrmRenewed · 11/03/2010 20:54

I really enjoyed Pure Lust by Mary Daly. An intellectual study of language and culture with regard to gender relations.

My favourite 'feminist' book is 'Woman on the Edge of Time'. I love it. It makes me feel so happy. It questions a lot of expectations of gender.

Dittany - I will try your recommendations too. I hope you don't mind me saying that I find you 100% right and 100% infuriating in equal measure (I mean that in a positive way )

dittany · 11/03/2010 21:02

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrmRenewed · 11/03/2010 21:05

Good.

BrahmsThirdRacket · 11/03/2010 22:03

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood - it actually scares the shit out of me, I can't read it again.

SolidGoldBrass · 11/03/2010 22:07

How about The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood? Or maybe (warning, obscure and some might find it heavy-going and hard work but I loved it) Native Tongue by Suzette Hayden Elgin or its sequel The Judas Rose - the author is a professor of linguisitcs and the books are sci-fi, very episodic novels which are fundamentally about language and reality.

Wifework by Susan Malhausen(? spelling) is interesting too.

shakingmyfattybumbum · 11/03/2010 22:08

The Women's Room

I envy the women of the 6o's and early 70's. They got to have consciousness raising groups - we get cupcake parties. I am a total feminist and think there is still a lot of work to be done. You only have to pick up any tabloid to know it's true.

SolidGoldBrass · 11/03/2010 22:08

Brahms: X-post, sorry.

shakingmyfattybumbum · 11/03/2010 22:09

Also would like to secong Woman on the Edge of time.

SolidGoldBrass · 11/03/2010 22:09

Oh, and I forgot Benefits by Zoe Fairbairns - it's about 40 years old but still creepily resonant although some bits do come across as very dated now.

SolidGoldBrass · 11/03/2010 22:11

And if your book group start bleating and panicking that it's all too hairy-legged and too much like hard work, and you want to subtly shake them up a bit, Sara Paretsky's later Warshawski novels are great reading and rammed with angry political awareness.

roseability · 11/03/2010 22:11

Thanks guys! Some good recommendations to think over. Dittany the pornography thread did upset me, but in a good way. I always considered myself quite liberal about pornography but I realise now I was just accepting a harmful norm without challenging it. I would have been the first to say 'but those women choose to do it and they are consenting adults - I have no problem with it'. Not now though or ever again. I have a long way to go before I would call myself a feminist (grew up with a mysogynist father and have always tried to please men) but I look forward to educating myself and maybe reaching more of my potential.

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BrahmsThirdRacket · 11/03/2010 22:13

Also The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte. No one ever reads any of hers, gets overshadows by Charlotte and Emily, but TTOWH is amazing in how it tackles so many issues like domestic violence and unhappy marriages in a period when no one talked about it

GypsyMoth · 11/03/2010 22:15

this kind of feminist stuff kinda scares me!! something gentle to start with? anyone recommend?

roseability · 11/03/2010 22:20

I want to challenge myself and others SGB. I am realising that so much of my life has been about pleasing men. I had an adoptive father who used to call me fat, a slut and told me off for not ironing my dh shirts! As a result I disrespected myself in my teens and early twenties. Ended up being used sexually. Have wasted an awful lot of hours dieting, grooming, flirting and pleasing. Why? Who for? I have a brain and I want to use it. I feel frustrated by domesticity and motherhood. I even feel a bit resentful that dh gets to have a great career and be a good father. Don't get me wrong I love my kids and they will always come first but I want to use my brain, reach my potential

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seeker · 11/03/2010 22:20

Has anyone suggested "The WOmen's Room" by Marilyn French? It was a eureka book dfor lots of 70's feminists like me, and although it's a bit dated now it still fantasticc, and an eyepoener for younger women.

If you want fiction, have you tried any Margaret Atwood?

BitOfFun · 11/03/2010 22:22

The Women's Room is fab, TBB- give it a whirl!