Do you think going on holiday every year for 7 days + with your dh and involving lots of others to look after kids is acceptable?

[DrNortherner]

BIL and his wife do this. WE help with the kids. MIL helps with the dog and checks house for post etc.

MIL is getting peed off with being expected to do this.

I think she should say so.

SIL is type of girl who does not take no well. She will get upset and say MIL has upset her which is why MIL says nothing and moans to me.

OPinions please.

How old are the DC? 7 days max I'd say is fine though do they ever go away with the kids? Not good to expect it though... but I am all the same.

Every year sounds a bit excessive I have to admit. But you have to SAY something. Sorry, I'm busy that week......

KIds are 8 and 11. Yes they go away with kids too.

I think if my sister or brother wanted me to look after their children, house. post or pets for a week to go on holiday,I wouldn't really have a problem with it. Depends on the family. But I think here, reading between the lines, the issue perhaps is the SIL?!!!!

Is the problem that she expects you to do it, rather than asking very politely, offering you the option to decline?

And does she reciprocate in any way? Because I think she should.

I think so yes. I said no once and world war 3 started.

She does reciprocate, but only for the odd night/weekend. We can't afford a week away on our own!

You don't have to go away for the week, you could stay at home alone together whilst SIL has your DC for the week

Oh I so wish I felt we could do this - but we use up all our favours and more with my parents on them covering for us (evenings, nights, weekends, ill children) so that we can work - my mother would certainly think I was taking the piss if we went away on holiday as well.

So you look after your SIL/BIL dcs once a year? For how long have you been doing this? Maybe 2010 is your turn?

Drop dc(s) off, get a Tesco waitrose delivery of wine champagne and energy giving food stuffs and batten down the hatches...

You write the post as if it's your MIL who has the main problem. I think it's fair enough for you to be a bit peed off looking after the kids. But I don't really understand MIL's problem - once a year to look after house/post/dogs sounds pretty reasonable. That just sounds like a completely normal family thing to do to me.

Plus, they do look after your DC for the odd night/weekend - it's not like they expect it all to be one way. It's just that you don't want to/can't afford to go for a whole week.

If it were more often, then I could see the issue, but once a year is hardly excessive.

It's OK to go away for a week a year without your DCs, as long as family don't mind looking after them. It's not reasonable if you are imposing on your family.

I can't stand people who get away with shit bc everyone is too chicken to say no because they know there will be an epic fuss.

Oh no, the holiday alone is once a year. On top of this there are weekends away alone. Skiiing with the kids where house and dog need sorting plus a longer summer family holiday again where house and dog need sorting.....MIL also has their kids ever weekend for a sleepover.

Wow - sounds like they get a good deal!

Maybe it would be okay if they were really grateful but if ww3 breaks out when you say you can't do it that would be the end of it for me. What a cheek.

Just say no

If ww3 breaks out then so be it

SIL isn't going to die because you have said no

(this is my new take on life)

good luck

I would suggest they put the dog into kennels to take the pressure off your MIL.

How old are the dc, and how long has this been going on for?