My husband thinks he doesn't get enough.

[darcymum]

Come on then how of often do you do it? Is the average really three times a week?

I'm glad I've never been to a sex therapist if they advise that you just get on with it.

And it might be a pretty miserable existence for you but it's not essential for all relationships. You can't place your own value judgements upon the relationships of others. An important part of many relationships yes, essential to physical and emotional health, no.

I think how often other people do it is irrelevant. Because people's libidos vary so much: if both partners are the kind of people who think once a month or so is fine, then they will be perfectly happy - problems arise when one partner would like sex twice a week and the other is only interested twice a year.
As to women thinking of sex as a chore they have to perform for their husbands: well, this mindset usually occurs when the husband does nothing in terms of housework or childcare, but expects his wife to service him domestically - and sexually. It's hard to see a man as desirable when you are beginning to see him as not so much another adult in the house to work along with you, but another dependent to pick up after and feed.

ruby, how are you justified in making that comment on this thread ?

the OP was about how often you have sex

mal (and she wasn't alone) was saying sex is still great after 40

are you dragging stuff from other threads, perchance ?

because that would be very bad manners

Probably averages out about once a fortnight - it'll be a couple of nights in succession and then nothing for 3 weeks

Orgasms and sex tend to be separate in this house though. When together we just pootle around in the foothills. Nice though. Like a trip out with the Ramblers.

Ruby, if you knew anything about me, you'd know my husband is at work in the evening.

I only work 3 hours a day, late afternoon/early evening, hence me not posting between 5-8 pm.

He'll be home very soon.

I like to post openly about sex because I would have loved to see similar posts when I had my libido go awol during my thirties - child rearing can wreak havoc with a womans sexuality and it's nice to show that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

.com re Ruby's comment...?

Mals schedule

Well that's me for the night, DH is just pulling into the drive and I'll be loosening his tie and pouring him a whisky.

I agree with AF that it gets better as you get older. Am late thirties but DH and I are so much more experimental compared to even just a few years ago.
We have sex in some form or another most nights and I get cranky if it's not regular so I agree that it's good for mental health and general wellbeing. Luckily DH's libido is as high as mine so I don't get grumpy often

OMG i feel so out of it

3 times a month if we're lucky!

I agree with SGB. It does not matter what random people on the net say is normal for them. If you ask on another day you will get lots of posters answering that they have sex once a month or so.

The problem is when one partner is more highly sexed than the other. And how to deal with that.

ah, now, I never said that we were at it every night < glances over at DH, snoring in the armchair >

we tend to be weekend shaggers

Mal - you are so right, and I for one as a 30-something with a missing libido take comfort from the fact that not all is lost!

showofhands - so THATS why Tesco's had sold out of pritt stick today

Agree with Mal - should get down to it every time you can agree on a 10 mins slot in your schedule away from the kids of course (or at least so they don't notice!)