ExDP is at solicitors now getting a contract drawn up

[hobbgoblin]

It's to say that I accept a vehicle in lieu of maintenance for DD. The vehicle is a long term hire contract through his business for a 3 year term and will be approximately half the entitlement if you go by standard maintenance calculations.

It is very unfair in the sense that I don't get the full amount but equally I wouldn't be able to get a car to ferry all the DC around on my own - it's an MPV. So, we're doing each other a favour. My questions are; am I mad to accept these terms? Will a solicitor draw up such a contract when it appears to be hugely in his favour?

I managed with a fiat seicento with a partner and 3 children!!!!

How about something more basic like a kangoo or berlingo - there are cars when you put 3 car seats across the back.

How old are your dc, are any of them out of child seats yet?

I'd make do with the one i had and use the extra maintenace that he is trying to wriggle out of, to save for an MPV

I have emailed you hobb.

How often will you all be in the car, how often will you need luggage space etc?

It's far better to have the cash so you can choose how to spend it.

I can recommend a cheap people carrier thing.

A Toyota Lucida/Estima/Emina

forum here

It is a Japanese import, but this is actually a good thing as they don't have rust in Japan .

They are known for being reliable and long living.

You can find them for around £1500, so not much more than you mentioned, and they are diesel, so go on for ever.

OK have been thinking about this all afternoon since you first posted it.

You say you can live off 50% of what he has to pay you. Thats Awesome!!!

Heres a possible solution:

I know you need the car...BUT take 100% and live of 50%. Save the other 50% to buy a cheap car. Short term pain, long term gain. Get shopping delivered for a bit until you get the new car. Minimise trips into town - but you CAN afford these while you are saving, as you can use the other 50%.

Once you have a car, take the 50% that you dont 'need' and chuck it into a savings account for your dd. Or i you dont want to do this cause of the other dc's, split it evenly between them and put it in their trust funds.

No, as you say you dont need it, but wouldnt it be awesome at 18 if you could hand them the statement and say "here you go!" and it has big savings in it for them to use when they move out? Would give them a great start

7 seats and a boot by the way

Car leases only run for 3 years...what will you do after 3 years?

The type of contract you're describing isn't enforceable as it attempts to circumvent your children's right to maintenance.

Why haven't you seen a solicitor yet?

lots to think about.

thank you for your (lovely) email solo.

i had a peugeot 306 when i had three and it was actually wider than my passat now.

as it is i can't do up the belts with the current car because all the seats sit on them plus it only passed the mot because exp knows the mot guy and really the emissions are borderline fail. otherwise its a good car, just it's about to die.

i looked on ebay for vehicles that will be cost effective so i don't have to pay huge amounts for repairs. my car is 10 years old.

I don't know what to do. Children were all looking forward to the new car coming next week. So was I. I feel crap enough as it is about how my silly life has panned out and having the ability to drive places is a god send. I also have a job to go back to that requires a car. I may resign and look for similar job in a few months when I feel a bit more able to cope but my work has always required a car, whether it is private work or work for county council so getting rid of the car altogether is another loss and step backwards I feel.

If I were you, I would be asking for the full or very nearly full amount of maintenance AND for him to act as guarantor for your own rental agreement on an MPV or other similar large vehicle suitable for you.

If you want the solicitor to tell him he can't do something you know is wrong why are you considering signing it away.

You owe it to your children to get what they are entitled too and what they need.

Forget about taking this car. It will not end well.

Get yourself a solicitor tomorrow and get the maintenance sorted. He must pay what he needs to pay both legally and morally.

If you work for county council are you eligable for a lease car of your own?

How much should he be paying you in Maintenance? DO you know you can get lease agreements that are sometimes very reasonable - sometimes they have payments at the end where you can buy the vehicle.

If you tell us the Maintenance amount could find you a vehicle so you dont need a lump sum!

Also not a good idea to settle for the car - it doesnt sound in your and DC interests!

He should be paying £600 pcm afaik

He has two other DC.

Although I work for CC I am not eligible for a lease vehicle as far as I understand. My post is in a school and my position is controlled by CSF.

I don't know much about this but reading through it he is SO taking you and your DD for a ride.

You can get a good second hand Galaxy for about a grand, even something like a Picasso or older Scenic would do you as you can get three across the back and one in the front.

Personally I would rather take 100% of the money that is owed to you and get an older car for you all.

What is your car just now worth? Find that out could you not swap it for a bigger one and use some of the maintenance money against it?

Please do not accept this, he is trying to get out paying what he has to.

Horton I wish he was the sort of person of whom I could ask that.

He is moaning and moaning about his finances but he has his 911 still sat on my drive.

He was like this when we were together - it isn't bitterness about separation. It's just him.

He still hates me for having DD. So every penny towards he is like a knife in his stomach. Shame not testicles.

Do you have "welcome" written across your forehead?. Do not be his doormat!!.

If you take his offer you shaft your childrens' interests as well as your own for a very short term gain which no doubt is weighted to favour him and not you.

How would you explain all this to your DD in years to come (in the event that you signed such an agreement in lieu of proper maintenance?). Its not going to put you in a good light is it?. You will then come across to her as weak and putting his needs before hers.

You can get a free half hour consult with some Solicitors; do not sign anything like this because it will end very badly for you if you do.

You MUST get your own Solicitor to act for your own self asap.

He is also financially responsible for your DD until she is 18.

If he is acting this way re money then he will try to enforce his power and control over you in other areas as well (like access for instance).

Take the full maintenance. Dont settle for anything less.

You can get a Scenic for around a grand.

i suspect he will try everything to avoid declaring his full income to csa

Is he self-employed?

yes pithy

Self-employed people can easily distort their salaries to the CSA. And it has not been unknown for the PWC to be left with £5 a week. Would he do that?

He in all likelihood will do this but you still cannot sign such an agreement which undoubtedly is heavily weighted in his favour.

You cannot continue to appear cowered by him.

Yes attila you are right there.

pithy, he runs a retail premises - is it still easy to do? Much of the income/outgoings are well documented and had to be provided very recently during his divorce. Can they reference those true figures as presented in court if I challenge any income declaration on his part?

All those documents detail revenue of close to 200 000 pa