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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Two weeks later

17 replies

Amanda1 · 09/07/2005 08:50

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luckylady · 09/07/2005 08:58

Don't really know what to say just wanted to let you know that someone was reading your post and here if you need to chat.

When my exp left me i was mnortified even though i had fallen out of love with him by that point anyway, i was just so scared as to what was going to happen, we had been together 5years and had a house and an 18 month old baby, I was only 22. I decided to leave the area with my DD (luckily easy for me to do) then I started a new life for me and her, no 8 years on , I have ahad a career met a wonderfull man, been married for two years and have a 1 yr old DS.

Sorry if you didn't want to hear any of the above but just wanted you to know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

IS there any chance that he will come back/ that you would have him back. Are you sure you are in love with him or are you in love with the idea of being in love with him??

Hope this makes sense.

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}

Mytwopenceworth · 09/07/2005 08:59

you can't switch your feelings off, so it is understandable you are going to be feeling bad right now. you may not feel it, but things will not look so bleak in time. in the meantime, its ok to grieve for the 'death' of this relationship - perfectly normal and healthy.

and dont go trying to find reasons why its your fault, whatever he did was his choice and all about him and his needs, and it doesnt make you a horrible, unworthy person at all.

Original poster

Amanda1 · 09/07/2005 09:03

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luckylady · 09/07/2005 09:10

Amamnda1 -it is hard inbetweeen exp and my DH I had a serious realtionship with a man I only saw every once a month for 18 months (sometimes more as we lived so far apart) It really hurt when we split up and if I am honest I still feel for him now... more as friends though...

The pain does get easier with time...

Have you got any friends around you who are willing to let you cry onthere shoulder and help to pull you through this.

A few good nights out is what you need.... to get chatted up etc... just to give you an ego boost and know there are more men out there for when you are ready....

I really don't know what else to say....

Listmaker · 13/07/2005 13:46

Hi Amanda

Was just thinking of you and wondering how you were doing and found this thread. So sorry to hear that you are feeling low. It just takes time to get over someone and not much else will do it really. Not exactly what you want to hear no doubt!

What happened about your health issues - you were going for some tests/endoscopy was it?

Do you think your exp is with the lady he had the affair with last year then?

I know it feels like you wasted time etc taking him back for him to let you down again but you needed him at the time. Don't let it make you bitter and cynical. You will meet someone else eventually and he will be worthy of you!

Good luck!

Original poster

Amanda1 · 17/07/2005 10:50

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Listmaker · 18/07/2005 12:32

Hello again Amanda - back from the other thread!

So glad that your problems are not related to the cancer and hope you can get them sorted out soon.

I said as much on your other thread but the behaviour of this other woman has me totally gobsmacked. I can't believe people can be so horrible to another person. What have you ever done to her? Incredible!

I hope you have a great time while your dd is away. I wish I lived nearer so I could take you out for a drink or ten!!

I know you are having a really tough time but it will get better and you will be happy again I just know it. Good luck. xx

Original poster

Amanda1 · 18/07/2005 12:42

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Listmaker · 18/07/2005 12:47

I'm in Bristol. Think you are Manchester?

Enjoy Paris - sounds fab!

Original poster

Amanda1 · 18/07/2005 12:53

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Listmaker · 18/07/2005 13:22

Sorry - knew it was 'up north'! I went to Uni in Leeds many years ago! Great city!

Bloody cheek going off owing you money. £300 is a lot to us single mums - grrrr on your behalf!

Original poster

Amanda1 · 18/07/2005 13:31

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Listmaker · 18/07/2005 13:43

You're doing better than me then - never been in AllBarOne and never seen Charlotte Church here!

Sorry Amanda but your ex sounds like a complete w*nker and you can do so much better!! Wonder what he thinks of his gf now he's seen her e-mail. I'd dump sraight away myself!!

Original poster

Amanda1 · 18/07/2005 13:46

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Original poster

Amanda1 · 18/07/2005 13:46

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Listmaker · 18/07/2005 14:42

Yes I make lists all the time! But I'm a gemini! It helps with making life run smoothly!

It took me 4.5 years to meet someone nice after my exp but I really have now so if I can do it anyone can coz I had really sh*t taste in men!

I can't believe he's had a go at you about forwarding the e-mail. It's not your words that would cause embarrassment but her's. He'll find out in the end what a mistake he's made but by then you'll have moved onwards and upwards I'm sure! He shouldn't have called you a liar!

But having said all that I would if you can possibly manage maintain a dignified silence from now on. Tempting as it is to try and make them suffer you will only drive yourself nuts. In 6 months time you'll be glad you acted with decorum!!

Original poster

Amanda1 · 18/07/2005 17:48

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