My apologies if this is long and rambling, but I don't know what to do.
My partner has his own business which is doing really well and we are finally sorting out the debts we had run up, while the business was getting off the ground.
My partner is passionate about cars, he has just got a new one, which we aren't allowed in, in case we ruin it. He has kept his old car as, he thinks it will be worth money soon.
Yesterday he told me that he wanted to buy another car, a car that he has always wanted. He had already applied for a loan, which had been agreed and I don't think it would have mattered what I said, he was going to have it.
I was upset as we are getting back our feet financially and I thought going out and spending money on a car, that he doesn't need, was too extravagant. It just seems that all his dreams and aspirations seem to lean towards the single man life style. It wouldn't have occured to him to go and get a loan to get some work done on our house, he has thought only of himself.
I don't begrudge him the car really, he works hard, he doesn't have any other interests, but it just doesn't seem to be about family life. I can't get out of my head that he would rather be living the single lad life style, rather than tied down with me and 3 kids.
It wouldn't occur to me to spend that much money on myself and he asked me if I had that sort of money, what would I do with it. I said I would like to get married. We were sort of laughing and joking about it, but I've now realised he has got no intention of marrying me, he just wants the car.
I can't believe how upset I feel. He says he loves me, has no intention of leaving me, isn't worried that I might run off with half his money, so why won't he marry me. I went to see my friend this morning as I was upset and when I came back he said he was going to look at the car again. He said that part of the reason he wouldn't marry me, is because I am like this. Upset, that he doesn't want to marry me.
He ended up shouting at me that there was no way he was ever going to marry me, so I could just forget it. I now wonder if there is any point in staying together at all. I don't think he wants me really and I'm gutted. We haven't got a perfect relationship, we have our ups and downs, but every disagreement we have seems to be down to me.
I can't really think what I'm trying to say now. I can't eat, I feel sick and I just don't know what to do. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this.
I can't be bothered to read this through, so sorry if there are any mistakes. Am I totally over reacting? What would you do in my position?
(Just so you know, I have posted this message on other site as well, but there are loads of sensible people on both sites and I need as much help as I can get).