H is trying to kick me out

[skinsl]

Big row and he asked me and DS(2) to leave this morning. I went out with DS to give him some time to calm down.
Things gone from bad to worse and now he is shouting and screaming and telling me I need to leave. Won't let me take the car, so he is saying he will phone my family and get them to come and pick me up. They live 4 hours away.
Also being really nasty saying he will get custody of son, he will fight me, etc etc.
I am SAHM and he earns a good salary. he has never been hands on father and has not "looked after" son for more than an afternoon or evening. He is also very short tempered and stressed and irritable.

He now says he wants me to leave but he will look after son. He has gone out and says he will be back before bedtime.
I have told him I am not leaving without son.

Anyone any legal advice??
I am shaking.

We also have builders in, house is a bombsite.

he could come back soon, so might have to sign off quickly

If you are seriously under threat of him turfing you out in this cruel and frankly emotionally abusive fashion and it isn't all bravado then I'd call the police and tell them the situation now before he is back. You can then have them alerted to the situ so if it kicks off you can simply redial and they will come immediately.

You must not leave. Yes, this a 'domestic' and may seem OTT to call the police but imo. you need to because it is emotionally devastating you and your child being put in this ridiculous position if he does go all the way with his threats.

What a bully.

Please call Women's Aid now on 0808 2000 247. This is a 24 hour helpline.

I agree what a bully.

I don?t have any legal advice but wanted to let you know that I?m thinking of you, and I hope he comes back in a much calmer frame of mind, and that you two can talk properly about this.
Can you ask a third party to be there for when he returns?

I agree - call the police and women's aid.

Agree, call the police and have his threats logged. You will need to seek urgent legal advice tomorrow (do this even if it all seems calmer), he sounds like an unpredictable bully.

What a pathetic bully do you feel in danger of physical violence from him? I think calling the police is a good idea, and I certainly would not be leaving the house.

Is both your names on the tenancy?

both our names on the mortgage.
but he seems to think it is his, because he works and i dont

well he's wrong there indeed.

is he usually like this?

what you decided to do?

for you

echo the other posts who've said to ring womens aid and the police.

The Women's Aid number is a freephone number and will not show up on your Bill if you are a BT customer.

its recently just gone worse and worse, we were having counselling and I think even the counsellor thinks he is unreasonable
called that womens aid no, she said to call 999 if i feel threatened,but gave me Rights of Women? no. to call for legal advice.

So many men who do fuck all with their kids and then say they want full custody when they want shot of their wives.

You need to call someone to be with you.

do i call 999 or find a local police number?
he's never been violent, but has thrown things, not at me.

Find the local number for now, call them explain the situation and ask for it to be logged. This way if they need to attend later they will already be forewarned.

Just because you are a SAHM dosen't mean he has more right to the house,
is it possible to ring him and tel him to stay away until he can speak to you calmly

Plum, i tried that this morning, and that's what i was hoping, he usually calms down the next day. But this afternoon was worse than this morning

go to yell.com and enter police in the first box, and your area. should bring up the local police number.

HTH

You own the house jointly - tell him to leave if he is so determined that you won't live together any longer.

women's aid don't like to use the phrase domestic violence because it keeps people of the wrong impression that for behaviour to be abusive it must involve physical harm. Do keep that in mind.

I'd call the local number now and 999 if he forces you out in any way or becomes very threatening. ESPECIALLY bear inmind what your DS may be witnessing even if only audibly or through feeling you upset and afraid.

The thing about calling your folks is classic undermining domestic abuse territory, sadly.

but don't let him bully you, at some stage you both agreed to you staying at home to look after ds,
so this is not a weapon he can use to bully you out of the house

Hi skinsi what a nightmare

Could you lock all the outside doors to try and keep him out- wont keep him away from you for long perhaps, but might at least give you an extra few minutes

Id call the police if it were me

Not very helpful but it he threatened me to get out of the house before he got back I would be packing his shit up and throwing it out onto the front lawn! THEN locking the doors. Let him explain to the police why his fearful wife wont let him back into their home.

i think locking him out of the house would antagonise an already precarious situation tbh.

i would just stay put and keep out of his way until tomorrow - when he is at work , get an appt with solicitor, find out in detail your financial situation, what debt he has incurred and what debt is in your name.

make an appt to see CAB.

find out your money position should he leave. what benefits you would be entitled to etc.

get all your documents which are important in one safe place. like passports, birth certificates etc.

if you think that he may be violent or that the emotional abuse is too much to take - and you may phone the police, perhaps it would be a good idea to pack a suitcase with some essentials in so you can depart quickly.

the thing is - if someone on the outside wants to get in. they will. locking the door is superficial really - most doors can be easily kicked in or windows put through, that really isn't the solution here.