single white female

[sunnyside]

When my DS was born I struck up a friendship with girl around corner with DS four months older than mine. I suspect that other than being in similar circs we would not have become friends. She is v well meaning and pleasant if a little stifling. I have v close relationship with my sis so spend a lot of time with her but when girl around corner (GAC) sees my sis's car pass her house she comes around! She tells me what time she's seen me pass her house and asks if tesco wagon was delivering my groceries etc its driving me mad. I'm quite an independent type and although I like to see her when it suits us both it seems it suits her more often. She even says things like 'Your curtains were closed at ..pm last night .Is everything ok? Are you ill?!'

Now she's started to comment that her DS has more toys than mine and tells mine not to worry he'll get more soon.... he's got loads!!!!

I don't want to upset her but feel like she's running my life!! What do you think? Should I leave well alone or tackle the issue?

gosh, that sounds a bit freaky. i'd hate someone keeping such a close eye on what i do. i wonder how she would react if you started doing it to her.

A similar thing once happened to me in the past, although it was a work colleague who became extremely reliant on me leading to me feeling suffocated. She was going through a bad patch and because we sat to next to each other I spent a lot of time listening to her and offering any advice I could give. However she eventually started phoning constantly and following me around. It was beginning to wear me down, so I just quietly withdrew from her. I didn;t return her calls and didn't phone her. I was friendly, but stopped asking how she was. Seems harsh, but being on the wrong end of a needy relationship was actually very stressful. You don't need to make a big song and dance about it, just stop reciprocating and she will get the message.

if she comes round when your sister is there could you just say "sorry, i have visitors over, can you pop in another time?"

or something along those lines? make her realise that she isn't ALWAYS welcome!
I would also just shrug off her other comments. If someone said to me my curtains were closed at a specific time i'd just say "yes... and?"

I think if you would like to remain friends with her then definitely tackle the issue... if you're not too bothered then cool it

Thanks everyone - tbh I feel better just knowing that you think its a bit much too!

I'm gonna just stop being so accommodating as you suggest and see how it goes.

I've reached the point where I feel I have to come up with valid excuses for her not to come round, its getting ridiculous so needs must as they say.