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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Pictures on his camera

75 replies

Thomcat · 05/07/2005 08:48

He got home from Ibiza last night. He left Friday night for a jolly with the boys.

Our camera was on kitchen table this mornig so I had a flick, as you do.

How many pics of girls?!

One of whom was leaning over him while he lay on the floor and in the next pic she's walking on his back. Lovely.

Another pic of some topless girl in the sea, actually there were 3 or 4 of her. Great.

Nothing really bad, but not what I wanted to see. Calmed down a bit, trying to reign in those pregnancy hormones, but have to say I'm not exactly happy.

Really think that if that's what "boys" weekends to Ibiza about then that was the last one.

How would he have liked to see the me with a load of blokes and pics of me with random men in bars, and on the beach etc? Maybe I'll have to find out.

Hmmm, the bubble in my stomach says 'not happy'.

He's gone to work now and I'm off in a mo so time for you to share your thoughts if you like before I see him tonight.

How would you feel?

OP posts:
katierocket · 05/07/2005 08:51

Pretty peed off I think but I'm sure there's nothing to it. Blokes like boobs and blokes together tend to get all 'bloke-ish'. Not trying to trivialise it TC but I'd just mention it tonight and ask what it's all about.

kama · 05/07/2005 08:51

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dejags · 05/07/2005 08:52

Sorry but I would be absolutely furious.

I know that isn't constructive. Hope things get sorted soon.

Tissy · 05/07/2005 08:52

I would feel the same, but it's not altogether surprising that that's what goes on in Ibiza- par for the course, I'd say. Are you sure he took the photos- not one of his mates nicking his camera and taking the pics for a larf?

Lizzylou · 05/07/2005 08:53

The fact that you were able to see his phone and the pictures must mean they were pretty harmless...if he was in any way guilty of anything more than laddish pranks, you would never have seen them...
That said, I wouldn't be happy and would definitely put a stop on Boys holidays!

Thomcat · 05/07/2005 08:54

Oh no, it won't be hard to confront him, not even slightly, i have no qualms about that at all, no way.
I'm just using today to work out how mad I go, what level of mad will i be

Look I'm sure there's nothing in it, but I don't want to see that, on our camera. I'm pissed off, unhappy, and as far as I'm concerned he can whistle for a so called "boys" holiday to Ibiza.

"Boy's" holiday, yeah that includes loads of stray women.

OP posts:
kama · 05/07/2005 08:54

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Thomcat · 05/07/2005 08:55

The girls bending over him and walking on his back, doesn't matter who took that pic does it!

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katierocket · 05/07/2005 08:55

just tell him that then TC.

kama · 05/07/2005 08:55

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Thomcat · 05/07/2005 08:56

i don't even think he'll feel that he has to hide camera, I'm sure it was 'harmless', but I don't like it all the same. I think it's disrespectful and I'm not happy about it.

Think I will have camera in hand when he gets in, nice way to start 'it' off.

OP posts:
dejags · 05/07/2005 08:57

TC - you have great self control girl .

Blokes - who'd have em?

MrsGordonRamsay · 05/07/2005 08:57

I would take the camera and get them developed today, get them enlarged and leave them on the kitchen table this evening. (For "discussion")

I would also put a stop to boys weekends for a bit.

However I must add I am very firey so don't be led by me.

Thomcat · 05/07/2005 08:59

It's not exactly what I say as such, more how I say it. I'm quite firey when riled, in fact I can go pretty mad, so it's whether I just scream and shout, which is never great let's face it, or if I have a calm word, which I'm gonna find hard I have to say, so mumsnet might help me in finding a happy medium for tonihts 'chat'

OP posts:
LIZS · 05/07/2005 08:59

Agree with it beign disresepctful, I'd be livid and hurt. If it is a digital camera he could have deleted them rather than risk offending you.

Elf1981 · 05/07/2005 08:59

I'd kill him. Not very constructive, and probably my pregnancy hormones talking, but I would! It would be so out of character for my DH that I'd be convinced it was more than harmless photoes.
But, if I didn't have all these pregnancy hormones making me totally irrational, I'd tell you to sit down with him and ask about the pictures, listen to what he says and then put your point across about how hurt you feel, and spin it around asking him how he'd feel if you went off on a girly holiday and he saw loads of pictures of you with scantily clad blokes.

Thomcat · 05/07/2005 09:00

It's a digital camera, I have no idea how to develop them!
Think i'll just hav e camera with me and say 'let's have a look at these then'.
But then how mad do I go?

OP posts:
Thomcat · 05/07/2005 09:01

Yes being pregnant doesn't help with how I feel right now.

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MrsGordonRamsay · 05/07/2005 09:02

On reflection, I would go for the I am very hurt and dissapointed tack and go silent for a day or two.

lou33 · 05/07/2005 09:03

I don't think it matters how anyone else feels TC, if it is upsetting you, then it needs to be discussed.

Does sound pretty innocent to me tho, and it's obvious from your postings that he adores you.

Lizzylou · 05/07/2005 09:03

Sorry, I thought the pictures were on his phone...have no idea where I got that from!
I would definitely confront him, he would be mad as hell if things were the other way round!
Or, you could always email them to him at work asking for an explanation???

katierocket · 05/07/2005 09:06

I don't think it's going to help going 'mad' although I know when you're pregnant it can be hard to control the hormones. I think you need to let him know how much it upsets you. I think that will be enough to make him realise how out of order it is.

lou makes good point.

WideWebWitch · 05/07/2005 09:12

I'd be utterly pissed off and a huge row would ensue. Reverse the situation and how would he feel? It's just not on imo if you're a married/attached man. My dp wouldn't have been allowed to go in the first place though! Not because I don't trust him (I do) but because if there's a weekend/holiday we'd be going together. Unless it was snowboarding, in which case he'd be welcome to go alone but I'd kill him for pictures like that or the suggestion that he spent any time with topless women.

WideWebWitch · 05/07/2005 09:13

Disrespectful is exactly the right word I think tc.

aloha · 05/07/2005 09:16

I think you are a latter day martyr for letting him go on holiday to Ibiza on his own anyway!
Wouldn't be happy, but won't encourage you to go ape because you are in a Delicate Condition and it will do you No Good!