Mens Little Habits

[Tigger]

Ok then, lets lighten up the conversation girls and moan about the little things that men do. Like farting on command, completely wrecking their pants, their wind problems etc and their complete incapacity to see dishes that are needing washed.

Now keep it clean and lets have some fun!!!!!

Mine would definitely be a complete inability to notice ANTYTHING... from piles of sand from the sandpit on the kitchen table to complete devastation of the playroom. This does however also mean a very sweet tendency to declare even my most disastrous food offerings as "delicious" and my appearance as "lovely" (although sometimes his voice goes suspiciously high pitched when saying the latter!).

tigger, when you say farting on command, followed by wrecking their pants, you can't mean...?
no - forget i mentioned it!!!!
using my memory as a filing cabinet (where is...? when does...? are we...?) - putting wooden things in dishwasher - putting things away in the oddest places and then forgetting all about them - using a whole kitchen roll in 2 days for blowing his nose.

Taking the newspaper to the toilet and spending half an hour in there!!!

we just get the car loaded ,everyone strapped in ,dog settled and then he disappears back into the house for a quick poo...arghhh,though thinking about it when was the last time you managed to sit on the loo for 5 mins without interuption ? Good idea think I might try that one myself!!!

If I ask mine to do anything he is not capable until "the programme's finished". The television is his church, we can't leave the house without at least 2 videos programmed to record sport. At the moment theres rugby on, at the weekend, cricket and last week it was golf. It's never ending.

He won't look and cannot find anything, preferring to ask me instead.

But he is master of his barbecue and woe betide you if you try to interfere!

It's supposed to be my partner's job to load the machine with washing but for some reason he is genetically unable to remember to do it regularly so I end up doing it. Sometimes I deliberately leave it for days and days thinking he's bound to do it eventually until I can stand it no longer. Then when I mention to him if he would mind doing it he says 'I was just about to do it'. Aaaaaaaagh! No you weren't you liar! You just can't remember to do it.

My husband will cook, wash up, iron and garden with reasonable willingness. However, when he goes downstairs every morning he leaves his towel on the bedroom floor and the bed unmade. (I have already usually descended). Who does he think tidies these things up?
Like others mentioned here, he skulks in the loo for an unfeasible amount of time, usually with the Telegraph Motoring Supplement. To pile insult onto injury, when he finally emerges, he then insists on reading me great enthralling chunks from this boring section of the paper.

Janh, I think we have just broken the race for human cloning - your husband & mine!!!!! It never ceases to amaze me that I know where his keys, wallet, organizer, comb, life are without even trying and that he doesn't. How does this happen? I have tried not saying anything when he does his usual roaring around the house saying "Where is my xxx?" but this doesn't work as he seems completely incapable of finding them and gets very stressed out and it doesn't improve his ability to find them next time either!!!
Why is it that when we have to leave the house, I organise myself, everything for our son, gifts etc when we are going to visit people but I still have to say to him 5 mins before we leave - have you got your wallet, found your keys etc, etc?????
I love him dearly but do find this "losing things" habit a bit exasperating sometimes!

bugsy, i often think the solution to this is 2 wives per household - one to have a life and the other to know where everything is at all times...(wouldn't a robot be useful!)

and, when the kids were small, if he was taking them out i was always the one who had to get them into coats, shoes, buggies etc...i suppose this was my payment for the privilege!

the other thing with mine is that even if i tell him precisely where something is he STILL can't see it. (isn't it funny how they can do it at work though. and he never forgets an important football result. even from 25 years ago!)

I didn't realise until now just how similar they all are! It does make me feel better that there are other men out there who don't realise that it is more efficient if clearing plates to put them directly into the dishwasher rather than stacking them on the surface above the dishwasher. Or that if the cycle is finished then the washing machine needs emptied. Or if the loo paper runs out that more should be put on the holder. Or that if we are all going out that not only does he need his coat, shoes etc. that the boy needs them too ... but the best bit of all came from my MIL when I suggested that what I needed was a wife (for precisely those reasons, Bugsy) she told me that what I didn't understand was that I am the wife and that these are my responsibilties! But hey. Do you think that we could improve our sons and thereby the lot of future daughters in law???

Towels on bedroom floor, inability to operate washing machine, skulking in the loo, losing keys ....oh yes, been there, done that and still got married.

In fact the only message I can't echo to is the one from lucky Bells. My husband notices much too much.

This means he also has strong ideas about interior decoration. Pink dralon curtains for the bedroom and nets anyone?. His parents have them you see. Is very protective over the 'new' brass fittings that infest our house, and loves the pattened pub-type carpet we inherited - very good quality you know and so practical for children.

I'm far more modern minimalist in a comfortable sort of way. I'm not that good with interior design either, but even though his taste is very good on occasion, we hardly ever agree unless I give in.

Carpets, that's where it's at its worst. The tussles we have had over carpets versus wooden floors. Crumbs upset him terribly. The years I have spent trying to get him to compromise over sisal or even sisal-like carpet. And now he's getting quite anal about our returfed lawn. We're not allowed to walk on it unless we take our shoes off first.

I wish mine would ask me to find lost things! Instead it's the other way around - I find it infuriating when I've spent all day looking for something, then he'll say with an exasperated sigh "Here, let ME find it for you" and then finds it within five minutes!
Also the crossword - I'll start it and then he'll come along and say "Let ME finish that off for you" and finish the bloody thing!

And he burns my mouth off whenever he makes curry!

The thing that bugs me is when ladies leave the toilet seat down... ;)

My wife's name is "Andreawhereis?" and my name is "Tomcanyou?"

What is it with men and spending an inordinate length of time sitting on the loo???. I mean is it medical or what?. Where I work, we have a daily procession of blokes heading purposefully towards the gents with the paper tucked under their arm. The emerge up to 45 mins later!. I find it amazing that they are basically willing to say to hundreds of people "I'm going for a crap"......

ah, but bells1, they're NOT going for a crap, well they are but really they're going to read the paper in peace (they hope!)

Except for the fact that there's nothing to stop them reading the paper at their desks any time they choose... I notice that its always the "Sun" they disappear off to the loo with and the broadsheets they read all day long at their desks!

When we go away I always end up having to find the suitcases, pack all of my stuff, everything for the kids, travel cots, buggy, all toiletries for all of us, all guide books, currency, passports, all his undies and socks etc....as he'll always have some small job that he must just do...The only thing he has to pack is his 'over' clothes....But guess who gets blamed if anything gets forgotten!!

bells1, if you sloped off somewhere for 45 minutes wouldn't somebody say "oi!"?

Just thought of another one....If we're in the supermarket my hubbie will run off with the trolley to 'save a place in the queue' when we've gone no further than the second aisle...Leaving me to struggle round with piles of groceries in my arms....and what does he say when I complain? 'Time and motion'! Aggghh

Packing, yes, I'd forgotten packing. There he sits, looking at his watch while I fly around. Won't help. Doesn't know where I've put things, he says. Strange since he's around the house more than I am. He does the driving - that's his reasoning.

And there's another one. He's always saying 'do we really need to take the pushchair and the highchair?' when we go for a night away. The answering look in my eyes means they get loaded in, though.

Hmonty, mine does that too!. But his piece de resistance is at the checkout. Without fail, just as its time to unload the trolley he disappears (usually to pick up halva, silly japanese yoghurt things, disgusting rollmops or other stuff which then sits in the fridge untouched for months on end) and magically reappears only when I am paying the bill having packed all the shopping up.

Actually Janh, if I disappeared for 45 mins there would be a mass accusation of having gone for a "sit down"!!. A huge incentive to rarely leave my station,

bells1, that's what i thought!
men are such hypocrites too!