Mens Little Habits

[Tigger]

Ok then, lets lighten up the conversation girls and moan about the little things that men do. Like farting on command, completely wrecking their pants, their wind problems etc and their complete incapacity to see dishes that are needing washed.

Now keep it clean and lets have some fun!!!!!

Rhiannon...well forgive me for not being super organised and having all the outgrown things put away!! There are always plenty of well fitting and coordinating clothes in the wardrobe... maybe its too much to expect an adult to use common sense and pick out things that obviously fit.I must try harder to match up to your exacting standards.

No need to be nasty, I was trying to be constructive.

In Alexmum's defence, is it really too much to excpect a grown man to be able to put clothes on a child that fit?. Likewise the pairing of summer and winter clothes.. I certainly am not going to pander to my husband's dimness by preparign ready made outfits on a hanger. He can either get it right himself, 1st time, 2nd time or 3rd time....

Thought I should give husband a special mention here. I ran out of razors the other day and kept forgetting to buy some. Just went into bathroom and there's a new packet in there for me. He'd noticed they'd run out and bought me some when he popped to shops on way home from work. (AND the same ones I normally buy!!) I was really touched....not exactly chocs and flowers I know...but at least he was being thoughtful.

Arranging to meet him outside my work and waiting for 45 mins, he turns up and says he was on the toilet. What is about men and having to take hours over No 2s?! And why do they need to read something while they are at it?

Leaving little eggs of ash around becuase he is too lazy to reach for the ashtray and putting the butt into his empty coffee cup - argggh!

In general not being able to do more than one thing at a time ... he says it is the way men's brains work but I think it is just because they can get away with it...

On the other hand I can go and ask him to buy anything for me. Sanitary products are no bother, and he once even got me a sports bra - exactly as I wanted and the right size.

......to add to your comments about men having the ability to dress children.

I always pick out my dd clothes the night before and leave them hanging on her wardrobe door. Suits us both that way, his brain can't cope with all the decisions that early in the morning and I can't cope with getting up first.

However, one morning when I joined them both downstairs I asked him how dd was going to be able to put her hands in her pockets. He had put her pinafore on backwards!!! Funny how he finds it hard to work out which way round the clothes go, despite me telling him the label inside is always at the back. It really confused him when he put her blouse on the wrong way round. He reasoned that the buttons should be at the back, but this particular blouse had front buttons and fancy embroidery. He even took her to nursery without swapping it back, the girls must have had a laugh seeing her with a plain white front and fancy back!!

Message withdrawn

I just showed mine the hairy armpits etc thread and it worked pretty well as aversion therapy! He asks me what the latest topics are and shows an interest, but as one would view a hungry lioness from the safety of a safari vehicle! My office is really interested too, and have to know who said what to whom and why and for how long etc etc! Talk about living a life through someone else! My dh has the gadget gene and drives me mad. He also has a saying which goes 'oh but women in India ...' followed by some impossible feat performed by said female peasantry whilst giving birth behind a bush whilst picking tea etc etc!! Grrrr!

He puts his head around the study door EVERY evening when I'm online/writing e mails and says
''slagging me off again???'' and then when he sees I'm on a parenting site or similar
''oh no, talking about nappies...''

As someone else said - it raised a smile the first time - but that was a long time ago.....

What a great thread!!!
My big question is - how can my dh manage to run a multi-million pound business very sucessfully, (for someone else unfortunately!) but that's all. The car wouldn't start once, and he called me at work
him: what shall I do
me: call the breakdown people
him: but the car's parked round the corner, how will they know where it is?
me: perhaps you could tell them when they come to the door?
!
Dressing the girls - putting the 2 year-old's clothes on the 4 year-old. Matching orange flowery leggings with a green striped T-shirt.
Spending an hour and a quarter in the bathroom every morning - 30 mins on the loo, 10 minutes cleaning teeth (no exaggeration), 35 mins in the shower - and he's not even got any hair!
I could go on, but it's not really fair to mock the afflicted.
The book "Why men don't listen and women can't read maps" explains a lot of this very well, and has actually made me more tolerant of a lot of his "attributes". I no longer expect him to be able to listen to me while watching the TV/reading the paper, as I now know that his brain is just not programmed that way!

Eulalia - re buying sanitary products, a few days after giving birth to DD I had to ask my husband to buy some maternity pads. Despite telling him exactly where in Mothercare they were, he couldn't find them and had to ask (!!) a very young and inexperienced assistant. He said he didn't know who was more embarrassed!
DH's annoying habits can be summed up by saying that apparently EVERYTHING is my responsibility. The words "but you were there, too" when we discover that something has been forgotten, are guaranteed to send me into an absolute fury - if I have to do everything, what is the point of DH??! (I love him really...).
A friend's mum told her, after the birth of her son, that she would now have to do the thinking for all three of them. How can this still be true?!! Plus ca change...

The best thing I ever heard was that boys dont grow up, they just grow taller.

Another thing, he very rarely calls me by my name!, the only time it is is when we're working with the cows, and I've not been in 2 places at the right time, and then I get "J H C Mary why the *!"$ aren't you over there". Men seem to think that we have the ability of an Octopus. Acutally poor soul jagged himself in the finger the other day when we were jagging a cow, I did chortle and then show an immense amount of symapthy (not!). The noise that was coming out of him you'd think he needed stitches, but lo and behold no, it was merely a nick, but was right on the bend in his finger, so he can't bend his finger and guess who is having to brave a shed of nearer 30 young bulls, yes moi, with him laughing his head off at me!

Last night dh was hovering behind me reading the postings over my shoulder, so I told him that such behaviour was a current topic on the message boards...you should have seen him move!

My dd has just started lifting her bottom off the floor when she farts and then looking delightedly around the room for applause - I wonder where she got that from?!

My Dps' irritating habits are leaving empty contact lens cases (ditto empty loo rolls) all over the bathroom rather than binning them; leaving dirty dishes IN the sink rather than on the side so I have to take them out again to fill the sink to wash up (if it's my turn, so could be worse) and putting the handbrake on my car so hard that I need 2 hands to get it off again. He also always slams the car door as he gets out. But it's all a small price to pay

Farting so much whilst sharing a tent with another family that they bought charcoal tablets from the chemist and insisted he eat some.

The result of one of his volcanic and often bizarre curried creations I seem to remember.

How's this for a strange irritating habit: dp is unbelieveably fussy about housework and will tidy up once a fortnight or so leaving the house absolutely spotless. It drives me nuts!!

www- he also does the handbrake thing and I've actually been unable to drive anywhere at times.

Never making the bed, never rinsing the bath and apparently dosnt know where the dishwasher is or how it works! He thinks the "dish fairy" comes and magics the crap from the sink to the dishwasher! And temporary deafness any time the words "poo/wee/she's gonna be sick" are utterred. OOh I could go on and on......

I'm so glad my DW rarely comes onto the internet. She'd get way too many ideas from this thread.

Ladies I hope you manage to train your men better in the future.

DH drives me to distraction when waking up in the morning he proclaims - "ahhh DS was awake again all of last night and I feel zonked" when in actual fact he snored away happily whilst I got up and attended to DS. What really gets me going is when I pick him out about the fact that he snored his way through another night waking and he says, well why don't you just wake me up???? Somehow he can't grasp the fact that there is no earthly point in waking him up - wouldn't it be nice to be able to go to sleep on the odd occasion knowing that somebody else would take responsibility for getting up at 4am.!!

The toilet thing bugs me supremely too - he always waits until I have run a lovely bath and lit the candles until he say "oh can I just use the loo" I have to wait 40 minutes for him to do "his business" and then have to put up with the smell when I should be enjoying a lovely relaxing bubble bath....ARRRRGGGHHHH!

I've got 2 DSs who always wait until I am actually in the bath to have a poo and a husband who dances around on the landing because he has suddenly acquired an urgent need and will have an accident if I don't get out of the bath soon (when I've only just got in). That's if I manage to get a hot bath after he has used all the hot water. We were going to a wedding reception a couple of weeks ago and I went up for my bath to find a bath full of cold water - he'd been in about an hour earlier and hadn't thought to turn the water heater on for me. I had to wash my hair over the kitchen sink with a bowl full of kettle water and I went out smelly and dirty!

we must all be married to the same man....the only thing mine is not guilty of is spending hours on the loo (that's my hobby actually, usually with a baby catalogue/magazine).
Part he does all the rest and more: clothes all over the floor, wet towel on the bed after a bath (and he goes back to the bathroom immediately afterwards so he could take it with and no waste of time - I don't ahve time, it's always his excuse)
He'd clear the table, but leaves all the dishes on the worktop (still hasn't figured out how to put things in the dishwasher).
empty shampoo bottles, like the others, even if there's a bin in the bathroom. Never ever replaces the top on his shaving foam (and does NOT notice that every morning somohow it has found it place again)
as for getting ready before leaving....who says that women take hours? He does not even have to wear make up but I'm still faster than him (and I take care of DD and her stuff too).
Another irritating habit is when we have to go somewhere (and he knows) and 10 minutes before we're supposed to leave he gets up and goes I'm just having a quick shower AAAARGH!!!!! why didn't you do it before??? and since when you are quick??? (needless to say we're always late everywhere, but he's always impeccable, while I have forgotten my contact lenses, applied mascara only on one eye, forgot to brush my hair...)

dear simonhoward, unfortunately our dhs have been trained (should I say spoiled) by their lovely mothers and now it's too late to do anything about it: I've tried believe me, but it was more annoying than just doing everything myself). By the way, my MIL knows dh is like this but she seems to consider his habits as something inherent to men in general and his son in particulat as if he'd inherited it with his eyes colour, I know a (very) few men who are not like this and I'm sure upbringing has a lot to do with it.