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Original poster

Tell me again why people get married?

61 replies

wetsuitone · 26/12/2009 17:46

I'm hoping for positive responses. Every time I come here, there's so much that's negative about marital relationships that I figure why bother? Surely, there must be something on the other side of the equation.

Thanks!

OP posts:
FabHasHadALovelyXmas · 26/12/2009 17:48

I married my husband because, in no particular order -

he asked me
I loved him
I wanted to be with him forever
I wanted to have children with him
He is my best friend
etc etc etc etc etc etc

SleighGirl · 26/12/2009 17:50

Dh and were together about 7 years before we got married, we already had our 3 dc together by then.

Things have improved since we got married, not sure why. We were relatively happy as a couple before and both committed but perhaps it's because Dh loved me enough to go through a wedding and whole heartedly make those promises knowing me very well indeed?

IMO our relationship has just got better and better since.

sunburntats · 26/12/2009 17:55

we had been together for 7 years before we got married.

We adore each other
he is the one
it was absolutely the right thing for us
it was a cracking day
we wanted to be married when we began to think about having children
we were commited financially to each other
we were ready (me 30 him 28)
just celebrated 9 years marriage.

LynetteScavo · 26/12/2009 17:56

Because we love each other, adn want to spen the reast of our livesw to gether. It gives a certain a mount of security; to us, and, I think our DCs. We have shon our commitment to each other, and the other one knows it.

We wanted a party; and I wanted to wear a big white dress, but at the same tome announce to everyone we loved each other and were going to spend eternity together.

I hated my maiden name, and like his better. (People think I'm joking when I say this)

I haven't been disappointed yet.

Heated · 26/12/2009 18:13

Love each other and enjoy each other's company more than anyone elses.

Big family celebration & fabulous occasion.

Relationship has been just even better afterwards, even after 12 yrs together.

Made our relationship official legally, important for the dcs when they came along. Dh didn't see this as important then but does now.

Non-conformist ex-colleague, living with partner for 20 yrs got married at lunchtime in order to give teenage dd legal protection - cheaper than going to the solicitor to make the arrangements. Was prompted after the death of his cousin who had made no will or provision for his family - his estranged brother made a claim on his estate & grieving partner and children had to buy him off. Hardly a romantic reason for marriage, but a practical one. Although maybe law has changed since then?

mustrunmore · 26/12/2009 18:17

We had been togther 6 years.

I was 20 weeks pg.

I didnt want my baby to take my name as it was my exh name, and I didnt want the baby to have a diff surname to me.

I quite liked him.

I fancied a day off work.

expatinscotland · 26/12/2009 18:36

We wanted to.

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 26/12/2009 18:41

"Every time I come here, there's so much that's negative about marital relationships that I figure why bother? Surely, there must be something on the other side of the equation."

substitute marital relationships for children/crocs/christmas television schedules/ryanair/mils/jeggings/cheryl cole...

expatinscotland · 26/12/2009 18:42

You leave Crocs out of this, Aitch, they're fab!

onlyjoking9329 · 26/12/2009 18:50

if you're asking then i guess you are having doubts
i married my husband because
i loved him
i believed in our relationship
we had three children
we needed the security of being married from a legal POV
i do not regret marrying my DH, i stuck to the vows, Till death us do part.
i will be getting married again within the next couple of years.

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 26/12/2009 18:53

is that right, oj? gosh that is lovely news. i think about you and steve more often than you'd imagine, i think a lot of us do.

jabberwocky · 26/12/2009 19:00

We got married because we were both just struck by the idea that we wanted something binding iykwim? Then when we decided to try for children I was even more glad.

Yorkiegirl had an excellent thread a while back on all of the legal benefits of being married but I can't find it. Did she have all of her posts deleted?

onlyjoking9329 · 26/12/2009 19:01

yes, tom and i got engaged 8 weeks ago
after a whirlwind 6 weeks.
not rushing to get married or combine houses/kids but we are all very very happy, steve would very much approve of Tom.

SleighGirl · 26/12/2009 19:02

so pleased for you OJ, hope the ILs to be are fab too

onlyjoking9329 · 26/12/2009 19:04

yes YG had all her stuff deleted,
ok if you are not married and your partner dies, you cannot get widowed parent allowance, you may not be the next of kin life insurance/ pensions may not go to you and your kids.
if steve and i had not been married his mother woud have been next of kin and thats a scary thought.

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 26/12/2009 19:05

many congratulations, oj, he's a very lucky man to have bagged you.

ABetaDad · 26/12/2009 19:11

It was just logically obvious to me from the very moment I met DW that we should and would get married one day. It took us 6.5 years to get round to the actual ceremony but I had never met anyone like her before and knew I would never meet anyone like her again. There was no point in looking any further. She was the one.

She still is 27 years later.

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 26/12/2009 19:12

men are so binary.

ProfYaffle · 26/12/2009 19:15

We got married after dh got critically ill for the legal protection type reasons already mentioned.

cat64 · 26/12/2009 19:17

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ABetaDad · 26/12/2009 19:21

Aitc - of course it took DW nearly 2 years to make her mind up about me.

Women are so indecisive.

ABetaDad · 26/12/2009 19:25

..... and OJ now that is what I call decisive.

Congratulations!

onlyjoking9329 · 26/12/2009 19:33

Toms parents died some years ago so no more parents in law for me
its very important to look at wills and stuff, sadly i know too many people whose partners have died leaving them in a very difficult and vunerable situation, we are all guilty of thinking it won't happen to us.

Anniegetyourgun · 26/12/2009 21:21

A thing to bear in mind is that this is where people come for advice with problems to do with their relationships, sometimes just a little letting off steam or needing advice on handling a sensitive issue, though occasionally it's something dreadful. What people don't tend to do is to seek out a forum like Mumsnet just so they can say "Hi, my marriage is fine, how about yours?" It's like watching the News: you hear about all the dramatic, horrendous things that happen, murders, car crashes, houses falling down, but "50 million people got on quietly with their lives yesterday" is not news, so you don't hear about it. And yet that's precisely what the majority of the population was doing. If you only read the bad news you'd never dare to leave the house (or, for that matter, you wouldn't dare to stay in it, what with house fires, boilers blowing up, meteorites falling on the roof etc).

Something like 30% (?) of marriages in this country fail these days - but that still means that 70% do not. Still worth a try then!

cat64 · 26/12/2009 21:40

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