Is anyone else NOT close to their parents?

[outofmydeppth]

I'm not very close to my parents and seem to be the only this applies to amongst my friends. I sometimes get upset by it & would like to hear from others in the same boat as me. No "my mum is my best friend" messages please!!!

Mama5 - you sound like a very brave person. I feel so sorry for your sister and if anyone can teach her how to be a good mum, you are the one because you have been in her position - you know the situation from the inside.

I agree, what is the point in pretending? I prefer a bit of honesty in my life, I just wish I could have practised it more when my parents were around. I did try very hard but they just always overcame it and would NOT talk.

Caligula, I did what you do with rationalisation. Once you come to terms with the fact you will not change them, life becomes easier. But I am now speaking from a different perspective with them not around - I thought the feelings would be buried with them but that is not always the case. It just takes something to trigger it and having to sort through a lifetime of their possessions at the moment is probably what is doing it - I have unearthed all sorts of stuff that has made me very pensive (I couldn't begin to tell you what but my whole life has flashed in front of me!). And this probably explains why it is in the forefront of my thoughts at the moment.

I don't really get on with my parents either. We don't fight, but I'm not like them, it's strange. I get so stressed when I go to see them, I seem to regress. I don't like myself around them, which possibly explains why I felt so much better about myself when I left home.

Sorry to butt in but I'm so relieved to see that other people have the same problem. My parents are lovely people who mean well and did the best they could although I can't help feel that we didn't really bond on an emotional level. My mother is very "head-strong" and believes she is openminded when yet shes the exact opposite. DH2B and I met when I was the tender age of 16. She told me it would never last and has made things difficult for us from the very beginning. Now 6 years on getting married and expecting DD1, she still will not admit that she was wrong and I knew what was best for me. Despite having a well-paid, fulfilling career, she still irrationally blames DH for me not becoming a barrister!

I've moved a little further from home now and I have to say our relationship has improved ten-fold. Because I don't see her everyday, I'm not inclined to agree with her to keep the peace and have more control over my own life.

Best decision I ever made!

Message withdrawn

Thankfully my Mum isn't unstable or abusive but was just a tad neglectful, more down to lack of organisational skills on her part. Our relationship is awkward mainly because she doesn't like dh and he doesn't like her. She does help me out when I need her though. My Dad was lovely but has now passed away.

I spoke too soon - my mum's not giving up on her chemo (she must have had a bad week) and the "discussion we needed without the children" is because they want to buy a bungalow!! Much less stressed tonight.

good - glad you feel lighter, Swedishmum