Anyone tried or curious about male escorts?

[poshsinglemum]

I am single mum and I havn't been shagged or even taken out for over two years.
I would love to go for a nice dinner and possibly more but I am simply not ready for a relationship.
I am beginning to think that it would be lovely to hire a georgeous male escort for my birthday!
Is it a bad idea?

[expatinscotland]

yuk.

think i'd rather stick with a vibrator.

[ILaunchedTigersSausageRocket]

I didn't say disease free, but in my mind they are probably on a par with the young bloke/girl who goes out every weekend, gets pissed and shags whoever they've eyed up over their 11th WKD Blue.

[stubbornstains]

One thing looks clear- if you do go for it, it looks like everybody will be rabidly curious to know how it went, as nobody is 'fessing up to having actually used an escort....

IMO, prostitution in either sex is not exploitative as long as the workers involved are not forced, coerced or trafficked into doing what they do.We have to give adults who have freely chosen their way of making a living the respect of acknowledging that they know what they are doing with their lives.

(I speak as an ex stripper, who thoroughly enjoyed her job for several years, and found it a lot less exploitative than, for example, working as a waitress).

Although I can't help thinking you might be able to get what you want a lot cheaper from a dating/ contacts website....

Good luck at getting yer end away PSM! Let us know how it went!

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

I think it's bollocks to suggest that a fully grown man in the UK could be coerced or exploited into prostitution (obviously I'm not talking about young boys, teenagers etc) The men who get into the straight escort business do it because they think they're sexy, like having sex with women, and would love to get paid for it!

I can understand where the op is coming from wanting to use an escort so there's no risk of becoming emotionally attached at a time when she isn't ready for a proper relationship. You're paying for them to leave, too.

The op has also said on another thread that she is beautiful and has a good personality (I know you weren't meaning that fully seriously, but still!) so I'm confident that she could get a man very easily. But what she wants is a more formal arrangement in order to save herself from getting hurt.

If you can afford it, and no-one is getting hurt, then I say go for it, enjoy yourself and be as selfish as you like!

[wetsuitone]

Working girls (and guys presumeably too), are generally aware of the risks that they face in the industry they are in. Most do not have a death wish. Accordingly, the learn how to do their job safely or as safely as possible.

That's reputable.

Drunk guys or girls at the end of the night at the weekly pick up place aren't, I imagine, so scrupulous about taking care of themselves... Maybe I'm wrong.

[wetsuitone]

"The [wo]men who get into the straight escort business do it because they think they're sexy, like having sex with women, and would love to get paid for it!"

Nah! Nobody would ever believe that! That can't possibly be true! Never could possibly happen in a million years and anyone who says different is a liar!

Right! Right!!!

[wetsuitone]

And just because another man said it better than I, I will quote him here:

"My personal way of looking at having some fun is that there are three factors involved in getting sex. These three are time, aggravation, and money. All men balance these factors when we get sex. I?ve known men who claim they have never paid for sex. My reply is that yes you have. They paid for it in one, two, or more commonly all of the three factors. Many men that I know have spent six figures on a divorce and they tell me they have never paid for it. Please! I personally do not want to spend a lot of time pursuing a woman and I do not want to be aggravated either. That leaves money."

OP, not being a man, I don't know that the above applies to your situation. Women and men approach these things differently (very differently I think).

Anyways, I think I'll stop being a pseudo troll. I enjoy discussing this topic, and it's interesting to hear women (or mainly women) talk about it in an environment that they feel comfortable in.

Sorry if I've offended overmuch or disgusted anyone, but the real world isn't all rainbows and lollipops. I think we'd all be better off if we considered out actions in the world as it is, rather than as we'd prefer it to be. But what do I know about anything??? I'm a man .

[wetsuitone]

Dang, I think I may have derailed this thread.

Should have just shut my stupid yap and sat back and listened in on the female mind freely conversing.

Sigh....

[BitOfFun]

It's not all rainbows and lollipops, no. But I wouldn't really want to get involved in shoring up a seedy industry that is so notorious for adding to the sum of humman unhappiness. It's not a great idea.

Posh- would you not be better off working on your confidence and all that, so you felt in better shape to actually enjoy a relationship again?

[BitOfFun]

Humman? sorry...

[poshsinglemum]

Look- I have a rampant rabbit which I do use but sometimes only human flesh weill do.

Mabe I should just go to my local bar, get pissed up and drag a starnger home. Because that is soooo much more ethical.

Or mabe I should become a nun?

Or just marry the first man who crosses my path?

[BitOfFun]

There is also massage, if you crave touch and physicality (the reputable kind, I mean), and at least you would be paying for a treat for yourself, which might build your self-esteem. And you can't beat the power of a good belly-laugh with female friends. Seriously, there are other ways to meet your various needs if you can't face a relationship at this point. And a lot of them will make you feel a bit more nourished than a shag you've paid for.

[poshsinglemum]

I am starting cbt tomorrow so hopefully I will change my mind.

[nooka]

I wonder how male prostitution (straight that is) would work in practice, isn't desire required before a hard on is produced? Or do they go and have a bit of a wank before hand to get them started as it were? I cannot see how having a date and sex with someone who is highly unlikely to even like you, let alone fancy you would do anything for anyone's self esteem, unless it's just the idea of having power over someone else that provides the buzz. Personally I think that buying sex is not that far off rape really, the compliance isn't precisely willing in the true sense of the word is it? I think it is hugely degrading all around.

[AnAuntieNotAMum]

I wondered too once Posh, a lot of years ago when I'd been single for ages and wasn't meeting anyone new...then I discovered "shag sites" and did a bit of that. It was strange, very fulfilling sexually but emotionally it made me feel lonely so I got rid of the "itch" but began to feel lonely where I hadn't before. To the person who said that blokes on shag sites don't want to do dinner, that's not always true. Some like the build up and tension as well- trouble is, if you enjoy that part then you risk getting emotionally attached. I do know a few people who got into proper relationships with people they met on such sites.

Having read a few of your posts, I feel that you might find yourself getting attached to an escort and feeling lonely so probably best to leave it alone.

I hope the therapy will help you raise your self-esteem and belief that you can be loved without being used.

Finding myself single again at the moment I grit my teeth through the ovulation days where the desire is strongest and go for massages, which don't feel sexual at all but do make me feel good.

[poshsinglemum]

Of course I would ultimately love that emotional connection but where has that got me?
Hurt and confused. I am fed up with being devastated and lonely. I know that I can't have really casual sex as I will always feel something.

The trutrh is I am so bored and unfullfilled with being a stay at home mum atm and part of me really misses the spontenaity of clubbing and casual sex. I have never nbeen settles and married so it has been a shock to become miss settled atay at home mum eevn thougfh all I wanted was to have babies but with someone I loved.

i am sure taht all you single mum swill recognise the terrible limbo. Single but unable to date properly. Mum but without the status of being in a happy marriage. It sucks.
mabe hiring an escort isn't the answer but I would love to have an evening of being dined and shagged or whatever.
TBh- I think I need to reasearch my options and fins an escort who actively really enjoys it and dosn't feel exploited.

There is a lot I hate about prostitution and I consider myself a feminist but lonely men turn to prostitution and I am one lonely lady.

I could probably go down the pub tomorrow night and bring a stranger home but I would still be lonely and feel shit.

Have had too much wine btw.

[poshsinglemum]

I can see how I might feel worse if I paid a man because then I would know that they were having sex not because of me but because of money so I guess in the end I may feel a lot worse.

[Obviouslynotmyusualchatname]

My DH and I were escorts. I could charge up to £150 an hour and DH up to £100 an hour. We didn't feel exploited. The money was great to pay the bills and meant that we only had to work a couple of times a week. We could pick and choose our jobs and even work together if needs be. We certainly weren't exploited and as university graduates could hold our own in any situation.

Have a look on www.adultwork.com

[BitOfFun]

Erm, that's nice, but I wouldn't rate the chances of a degree warding off a serious sexual assault, tbh. Prostitution is not exactly risk-free.

[Thingiebob]

But what about men who offer their services
as an escort because it is a well-paid preferred career choice? It seems some posters are equating this scenario with women who are forced against their will into the risky world of street-walking. Totally different situations.

I still think going out and picking up a stranger in a bar is riskier than contacting a male escort agency.

[BitOfFun]

They are both dodgy scenarios, and neither-I suspect- would be a good idea for the OP.

Posh, you do seem to be feeling a bit crap and lonely. I hope your CBT helps you, and that you get to a place where you feel ok about trying relationships again which make you feel better rather than worse.