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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP's bombshell

146 replies

AuntieMaggie · 22/11/2009 15:35

DP has just dropped a bombshell... he slept with his female friend about 8 months ago. Now around this time we argued because I said he was spending too much time with her, didn't understand why he didn't want me to go shopping in the village she lived and found doodles of her name in his briefcase.

Well, I just feel numb. Don't feel angry, upset or anything to be honest.

Is this normal or am I just a mug?

He says he wanted to be honest with me as we've been tlaking about getting married. All day I've just been going thrugh the motions and not really sure what I should be doing. DP is going out later which I can't wait for because he keeps apologising.

Not really sure why I'm telling you or what I'm expecting you to say!

OP posts:
dittany · 30/11/2009 14:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyWoman · 30/11/2009 14:55

But if SHE cannot trust she will not have a good relationship whether or not he cheats again.

What if he stays faithful for ever and ever now?

The op needs to worry about what she is going to do to help HER relationship - she can never stop him cheating again or even doing other unacceptable things.

That is up to him to do - but she will have to trust herself that she will not put up with it ever again (and not feel bad that she has the grace to give him the benefit of the doubt this time).

dittany · 30/11/2009 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntieMaggie · 30/11/2009 15:07

"I'd suggest the vow to be faithful is taken out of the marriage ceremony when they get married though."

Thanks. That kind of comment really helps.

None of us can say whether he will be faithful to me, not even him. He can say he will but actually even with the best intentions to do that he can't guarantee it. Just like nobody on here can guarantee that they would be. None of us know whats around the corner or how we will feel tomorrow. Everything is a risk, and yes it's more of a risk if he's done it before.

I'm pretty certain that I would be faithful to him, but then I never thought I'd be the other woman either until it happened years ago before I met P.

I can't stop him cheating or doing other things like HappyWoman says - and I can't know what he is thinking or how he feels apart from what he tells me. But if I can learn to trust him not to then maybe we will have a good future. And maybe I just won't be able to get past this and we'll split up.

No I won't put up with it again. I have already asked him if there is anything else I don't know about because if there is and I find out it's over. And I have said that if I even suspect that he is lying to me or somehting is going on then it's over. Its up to him to prove to me that I can trust him.

OP posts:
HappyWoman · 30/11/2009 15:19

I dont think it is helpful either tbh.

Why not take out the 'til death us do part' ? and of course no-one really wants poorer (richer yes), and if i am honest i dont want the sick husband years from now.

op i think you are doing well - you seem to be giving yourself time to think about what you want without throwing it all away.

And actually i would say only throw it away when you are sure you dont want it anymore.

I also do think that past actions are good idicatiors - but not if the person wants to change and takes the time to find out why it happened.

Good luck to you.

Malificence · 30/11/2009 15:46

"None of us can say whether he will be faithful to me, not even him. He can say he will but actually even with the best intentions to do that he can't guarantee it. Just like nobody on here can guarantee that they would be".

I can guarantee that I would never be unfaithful, I can also guarantee the same for my husband of 24 and a half years - if you truly know yourself and truly know your partner, you can - I knew that at the age of 18 when I married him.

If he can't promise to be faithful to you than he isn't good enough.

newnamenewlife · 30/11/2009 15:49

I 'knew' all that too Mal. In fact I was as smug as you are. Then it all went pearshaped. I truly truly hope you are right.

MsDoctor · 30/11/2009 15:51

EVeryone certainly starts a marriage 'knowing' that they'll be faithful.... don't they?

dittany · 30/11/2009 15:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mathanxiety · 30/11/2009 15:56

Sounds like you're not really numb anymore, AM, but I think it still hasn't fully sunk in. There's been a bit of intellectualising in your posts not criticising here. The ups and downs of a relationship are never static, nor are our responses to them. You can never draw a line under an experience and say it's over and move on with never a backward glance. You might still find yourself bursting out crying six weeks from now, or he might make a remark one day that opens the wound deeper, or say something that closes it up there are elements of a roller coaster no matter what.

There's a lot of fluidity in any relationship, you are right to understand that. But if you discover on your journey together that the two of you have a different bottom line about monogamy, that could be obviously a huge problem.

Maybe if you have couples counselling you should focus on what exactly are the values that you both hold, what your individual and joint priorities are in a relationship, and how you will work individually and as a couple to achieve those ideals you prioritise.

MsDoctor · 30/11/2009 16:24

Honestly, my relationship is far from perfect and with hindsight I may have made a mistake ending up with my DH. THE little things that niggle you before the big day don't go away because you're married. He's always going to have ruined what could have been a perfect courtship OP, you just have to decide if you can put up with that. Men that stray during a relationship don't keep it in their pants because they're married.

AuntieMaggie · 30/11/2009 17:36

"EVeryone certainly starts a marriage 'knowing' that they'll be faithful.... don't they?" Yes they do. And I know I'll be faithful to him.

If what you say is true Mal I'm really pleased for you. But can you honestly say that in 24 years you or he have never done anything that you never thought you would aside from being unfaithful? And yes he has promised never to do it again.

I had a friend who witnessed her sister be killed. She went completely off the rails getting drunk and sleeping with loads of men behind her husbands back. Would she have done that normally? No. Did she ever think she would have done that? No. But she did. All I'm saying is things can happen that can mean you do things you never thought you would.

Completely agree with you mathanxiety. I know I am far from drawing a line under it, but I'm trying to deal with it as best I can. I'm reading Shirley Glass, I'm talking to him and others and we will be getting counselling. There have been a couple of things that have 'opened the wounds deeper'.

OP posts:
HappyWoman · 30/11/2009 18:13

AM - i think you have a healthy grasp of life.

Of course we all enter into marriage thinking we will be faithful as well as many other things.
Although i have never actually been unfaithful i know i have come pretty close to it and there are still some men i would not want to spend a lot of time with (because i think i could fall for them ) - so i can see how it can happen - even when i really dont think i could ever cheat iyswim.

Also like you say as you grow you learn more about yourself and i have to admit that i have done things that i never thought i would. One of them being trying to continue my marriage after my h affair. I always thought i would be the type to just throw him out and send his suitcases later.

Live and learn.

MsDoctor · 30/11/2009 19:10

Meant to continue...
they don't do it because they're married they stay faithful because they're in love, they want to stay together, nothing else comes along....a whole stream of reasons.

scottishmummy · 30/11/2009 19:25

dearie me what an upset.postpone marriage plans.if he is dipping his wicj elesewhwre thta isnta good sigh

is he going to knob another girl every time you argue?

what is your situation do you co-habit?i see no children - and dont have any with him until this resolves

what the hell kind of girl sends pictures of herself in undies to another girl's partner

what the hell kind of man, receives pictures of his mate in her undies.

eugh to both of them

you need to calmly be able to talk and work this out.no name calling or shouting but do look at themes /issues/expectations

don't get bogged down in nasty recrimination.you need to figure what you want.what can your relationship withstand

some people get over infidelity
some people never do

you need to figure out were you fall

good luck

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 30/11/2009 20:22

Aunt Maggie - the beauty of Mumsnet is that you're going to get lots of different viewpoints, some of which your friends won't give you, because they have an investment in you still liking them if they tell you what you don't want to hear. The converse is that none of us on Mumsnet know you, your partner or how you come across in RL. My best advice is - if you have a friend who will really tell you how it is - and knows you both, ask that person for their take on this.

Like you and Happy Woman, I think we all do things in life that we never imagined we would - for good and bad. We change so much over the years and none of us knows what we would do in a situation, however well we think we know ourselves. We certainly cannot know what other people will do, however well we know them. My H would never have dreamed before, that he could be unfaithful and neither would I. In fact, I thought I was more capable of this than him. This latter bit of self-knowledge did at least give me some empathy with his situation.

I never thought I could start on a path to forgiveness after this, but I'm profoundly glad I surprised myself and found reserves of strength I never knew I had. I'm proud that I turned out to be a more forgiving person and I feel rewarded every day for that strength.

Aunt Maggie, there will be people on here who will say that you should walk away and that no infidelity should ever be forgiven. Others like Mal will say that it could never happen to them. I would have been in both those camps once upon a time and all I can say is that I'm glad I'm in neither now. I have far more empathy now for the human condition and a much clearer view of my true feelings towards my H.

I also have so much more knowledge now about how a couple can protect their marriage from infidelity. Prior to my H's affair, we were so bloody smug it would never happen, it didn't occur to either of us to build fortresses so that no-one could get in.

The best work a couple can do after an affair is to recognise why it happened and to make changes so that the future relationship is "affair-proofed". This also meant some real honesty on my part - I now believe that both of us, at that particular time, were vulnerable to an affair opportunity. We're both pretty certain we wouldn't have gone looking for it, but if someone had wooed me with the intensity that OW did, I have to accept that I might not have resisted either. At other times, as my H knows, I did turn down numerous opportunities, but these were at a time when I felt great about myself and didn't need an outside boost. In early 2008 however, it would perhaps have been a different story....

This experience has taught me that the walls around a marriage need constant reinforcement. My H and I know now how to ensure that nobody can ever get throught those walls again. We're grateful for that knowledge, however painfully it was gained.

I think you're approaching this in exactly the right way - searching for answers and taking your time with such a monumental decision. The reward for you, whatever happens, is that you will grow as a person and this experience will teach you something. I feel sure that what ever you decide Maggie, it will be an informed choice and that you will choose what is the happiest option for you in the long-term.

ladylush · 01/12/2009 10:50

Great post from Whenwillifeelnormal

HappyWoman · 01/12/2009 11:19

yeah - whenwill great post.

I sometimes wish I was in the 'it could never happen to me' camp - but i am not and just as i sometimes wish i could believe in Santa again - I cant.

Christmas is still great - different from when i was a child with the magic - but still fantastic.

My marriage is still great - different from pre-affair when i thought it couldnt happen to us - but still fantastic.

ladylush · 01/12/2009 11:27

Santa doesn't exist?

AuntieMaggie · 01/12/2009 12:04

Then who is going to pout John Barrowman in my stocking?

OP posts:
ladylush · 01/12/2009 12:12

I think Santa would be scared of John Barrowman

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