LOST: One Mojo - please help

[NoMojo]

If you are going to cry "too much information" then please stop reading

I've gone off sex. That's it really and I want my mojo back. Baby number three is 8 months old and since she's been born I just haven't been interested. I had PND after DD1 but it was different to this. I have been to my GP who put me on ADs but, if anything, that made it worse.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Magic herbal tablets? A great book on the subject? Anything. I used to be good at sex goddammit!!! DH is extremely patient and we talk about it loads but I just can't muster up any enthusiasm.

Help.

(I am regular by the way, have just namechanged)

Anyone?

The AD's are probably the main culprit - they can kill libido stone dead.

Are you also on hormonal contraception - another fantastic libido stopper.

It's good that your H is being understanding, pressure is the last thing you need.

Quite honestly I suggest masturbation as a way to get back in tune with your body - orgasms are good for you and make your body want sex, do you find that once you get into it you enjoy sex with him? A small bullet vibe or vibrating cock ring can add a bit of fun, have a look on the lovehoney site with him and see if anything takes your fancy.

If you do enjoy it then don't feel guilty about not being in the mood, you will just need plenty of time to get aroused, a good lube helps enormously too.
See if you can get aroused by getting him aroused (probably wont take much) - by giving him plenty of attention it takes the pressure off you to "perform" and he will be very appreciative I'm sure - make him lie with his hands out of the way and see how long he can resist touching you, it's very empowering to see them squirm and hear them moan. If you feel silly or self concious do it in the dark, or stick a blindfold on him.
Try reading some saucy stories and see if you get any stirrings, literotica is a good website with every fetish imaginable!
You can learn to be and feel sexy again.

Thanks so much for replying Malificence. I am trying to get myself back in the mood but haven't even wanted to masturbate which is odd. I think that I'm just going to have to force myself (and I mean that in the nicest sense) to initiate sex and hope that it kick starts something.
I did discover the joy of lube after my second child and I have a trusty rabbit but that's not doing the trick at the moment.
I am using oral contraceptive at the moment and changed type in the hope that it would help. DH has a theory that part of the problem is my fear of getting pregnant again (third child was the result of a great drunken night and the MAP - wouldn't be without her now but I really don't want a fourth!!). He is going for the snip in January so maybe that will make a difference.
Well, he's away at the moment so I'm going to check out that website and maybe he'll be in for a surprise when he gets home
Thanks again for taking the time to reply.

ylang ylang aromatherapy oil in the bath is fantastic for getting you in the mood. i found out by accident i used it for dry skin but ended up wanting sex all the time. my dp didnt complain

The snip for him could very well be the best thing for you Nomojo.

It will enable you to free yourself from the pill and you'll appreciate your husband making that sacrifice for you. The fact that my hubby had it done soley for me ( so I can get rid of my coil) has made me fancy him even more.

That ylang ylang oil, does it work as well on men? I'm the one with the sky high libido atm , I force feed my hubby ginseng but he still needs a kick start occasionally.

wow malificence I've just clicked on that link...

Yes CoT, if at least one of the stories on there doesn't get your clitoris twitching, there's no hope!

My hubby's only got to look at my face and he will say "you've been reading filth again, haven't you?!".
Wait till he sees my Amazon wishlist!

Oooh, give me some suggestions from Amazon. I think DH would be chuffed if I asked him to buy me some filth!!
Am going to buy ylang ylang oil tomorrow.

Re. the pill suppressing libido... This happened to me in the first few months of my marriage. Had taken it previously and then had a break for a year or two and went back on to make sure I didn't have my period around the time of the wedding. Went totally off sex at the worse possible time - it was a really difficult start to our married life and went back to the Diaphragm pretty sharpish and since then we haven't looked back! . Maybe try another brand until your DH has the snip? Good luck

Thanks- I started on Yasmin after DD was born which is when the problems seemed to start so I'm now back on Microgynon which I took for years with no problems, have never tried a diaphragm - are they reliable?

There are loads of sexy books on Amazon, whatever floats your boat really, Black lace books are good all round filth. There are lots of sexual fantasy books too, like Nancy Friday's My secret garden - my list has, amongst others, "naughty spanking stories" and "How to dominate - for him", not that he needs much persuasion.

NoMojo

Used Diaphragm for 12 years and would really recommend it. I never really liked the idea of the pill when you are only actually fertile for such a small window. We have used it with a condom to be doubly sure over my fertile period in the past and look out for ov symptoms. I would say you have to be confident knowing your body - some of my friends can't stand the thought of inserting something into their body, but you soon get used to it and I find it very natural. And you can insert it in private so it doesn't get in the way of foreplay. You will need to be fitted at a family planning clinic or your Dr may have a nurse trained. You sometimes have to fight a bit though - I have found a real favouring of the Pill and the Drs where we now go don't have anyone trained up for them so I have to go to the FPC and last time I went they made such a positive fuss as I was such a rare case!

Malificence, I went on to that website you suggested, literotica and I've never gone on to anything like that before so I just clicked on to read the "favourite" stories, ie the most read..well I was a bit shocked actually cos there were about 20 stories lined up and they were ALL bar one, stories involving incest. I just thought eughhh, not very erotic at all, if that's what it takes to kickstart my sex life then I'm in trouble cos I found it pretty revolting!

You do have to root around a bit, you can look at different genres.
Some are very icky, I agree - anything involving cruelty/group sex/humiliation/incest etc. not my bag at all but some people obviously do like that kind of thing.

The "romantic" section is a bit more genteel and far nicer.

Ok so, I'll have another look and try the romantic section, hopefully that'll help things along!

I have a big fat ginger cat called Mojo.

He is currently sitting on the sofa (where he can be found pretty much 24/7)

Problem solved?

So many jokes about pussys come to mind but I really don't want to offend you!!!
Why is the cat called Mojo????

Hes a lover, not a fighter!

He 'makes love' to all sorts of inanimate objects, the latest object of affection being a witches broom from Halloween!

And yes he has been 'done'! And trust me I hve heard al the pussy jokes!

I wish I could give you some of my mojo. I have a surfeit at the mo and it is all going unused, unlike my Rabbit, may which I fear may give up the ghost shortly!

How about buying some sexy underwear? If you feel a bit abashed about a wobbly post-baby belly, La Senza do some great babydolls which are like long-line corsets.

You could buy yourself a new toy too - I have a Rock Chick and it's much better than a rabbit for me.

You could also put a ban on penetration for a bit - have a night of passion which involves everything but. You might be surprised how erotic that can be