dh is a groper and i HATE it .

[drlove8]

He gropes me at every chance he gets ....it doesnt matter if im cleaning the loo or trying to make the tea... it as if my body is just for his amusement...
He doesnt care if the kids are in the room... ive asked him to stop doing it ...he sulks, then leaves me alone for a bit, then sulks a bit more, then starts again...
Im so sick of it,i feel dirty!!.He has actually put me off having sex with him at all... most nights i sleep on the sofa now.
Im just so fed up with the lack of respect i get from him that im concidering leaving.
apart from that he is a reasonably good person, a dad who enjoys having a family. and a hardworker.How can i get him to see im not just a piece of meat? i was going to name change but have decided against it , incase Dh finds this.

Has he alwys been a groper or is this a new thing?

But presumably he doesn't see you as a peice of meat but rather as the gorgeous, sexy mother of his kids that he can't keep his hands off?

tbh he always has been a bit of a groper, but he`s defo getting worse. infront of the kids ffs! i really want to slap him at times... ive told him each and every time that i hate it and to stop doing it.
the fact that he thinks its ok to shove his hand down my top or worse infront of the kids makes my skin crawl.

Have you actually sat him down and told him how uncomfortable it makes you feel? He may just be being dense.

worse ? in front of the kids ?

is he always this disinhibited ?

I am thinking early-onset Alzheimer's or a brain tumour

seriously, that is gross

Charming. Get an electric cattle prod if he's going to behave like an animal

So you've told him how you feel about it, and he's not taken any notice.

Next stage perhaps is to ask how he feels about it and why he does it?

It sounds like a pattern of you withdrawing, he wanting more connection, you feeling persecuted and withdrawing more, him getting more desperate for connection... not very nice for either of you

I have to say though, this sounds salvageable. Oh dear, I'm going to recommend Relate again.. I always seem to. This does sound more like a massive clash of perceptions than a terminal situation,though I don't underestimate how grim you feel - i HATE being pawed when I am feeling frazzled. Hope you find a way through this together.

well by worse i ment tonights incident. i was getting tea ready at 6 ... he just came in from work ,he asked for a cuddle (fine , great , lovely im thinking).... then he ruiened it by trying to stick his hand down the back of by trousers.... we have a kitchen thats off the sitting room and the kids could see what he was doing.
ive told him, cryed at him ,shouted ,pleaded ....nothing will stop him.
i think i have to leave him.

Have you tried physical chastisement? Seriously, every time he does it kick him in the shins/pinch his armpit/flick his knackers. As for molesting you in front of the kids...that deserves a phonecall to his mother/boss/elderly Aunt.

Actually, no, it deserves being told that if he does it again, he's out. Completely inappropriate, and very creepy to your children.

you don't have to leave him

just chop his fucking hands off

I sympathise. Apparently I am abnormal because I do enjoy being groped constantly. He does it in front of the kids too. It is worse if we have had sex recently, as are tyhe constant "Can I do you tonight or what?" requests. He wonders why we never sex anymore

I do not enjoy being groped constantly.

if it was a strange man in a bar , i could get him charged with assault , so why should dh do this ? why cant he understand? this is killing off any affection/sexual attraction i have for him.

knee in the groin (when the children are not there) It is very violent, I know, but will stop him immediately.
Poor you. How utterly demeaning.

Have you sat him down and said this to him? In that plain language? For some reason he is not taking you seriously. Do you have any idea why?

lol anyfucker ! .

I can understand why you wouldn't like this I'd be fuming. I'd only have to say it once too. He's making you very unhappy ffs. I'm really sorry you are expected to put up with this humiliation.

I don't understand why he continues to do this when you find it so offensive. And to sulk about it, what's wrong with him? In front of the children is just ridiculous, supposing they mimic him?

You must persist in getting him to stop this ludicrous behaviour. Just tell him in no uncertain terms and let him sulk as long as it takes for him to grow up and how some respect.

chicken i have tried to talk to him , he doesnt listen.i have no idea why not .

You need to tell him what you just told us - especially the bit about makign you wonder if you should leave him. And tell him that it is not helping anything when he goes off in a sulk. You are not being unreasonable. If you don't like it, or don't want him doing it in front of the kids - then he has to stop.

Jufg of cold water in the crotch, every single time.

I'm not joking

well for one thing i do not want my sons or stepsons growing up acting like dh with women/girls.
ijust want him to stop doing this. it is humiliating ,degrading and disrespetful.
i will end up hateing him if he doesnt stop.

Dr, what if they start doing it to their friends now, at school or something. It's just not a good example of how to behave towards others.

Gawd the thought of it makes my blood boil.

My XH used to do this ALL the time, hug turned into hand down pants, finger in fanny, nipples tweaked, and I was abnormal for hating it!
It shows a complete and utter lack of respect, and a BIG HUGE marker IMO for an abusive man!!
Yet another reason why X is an X!

dh has a habit of rushing against my breast when he goes past, or when i'm sitting down.

so now i grab his man-boobs when he does it, and he seems to be getting the hint