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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Do you still fancy your DH?

107 replies

stirfry · 10/11/2009 14:53

And if so how do you keep the romance going amongst the madness that is day to day living with kids, work, etc?

OP posts:
IdrisTheDragon · 10/11/2009 14:56

Not sure (to both questions)

Scorps · 10/11/2009 14:57

Yes, alot.

We cuddle up on the sofa, sometimes share a bath. We go out on dates about once a month. IMO it's the small gestures-a kiss before work, a quick hug when cooking, whatever. We also text each other in the day to check in.

displayuntilbestbefore · 10/11/2009 15:03

yes I do - more than ever! He's improving with age!
as far as keeping romance alive,
hard to make time for it when you're both exhausted but we make a conscious effort when we can and don't really have any other secret. Luckily for me, the feeling's mutual so it isn't really an effort. Main thing is to have a laugh and chat to one another about stuff so even if there's no chance for swinging from chandelier moments, there's closeness...can say that now I don't have an tiny babies as dcs a bit older now (youngest is 2) but still get our sexy plans thwarted on a regular basis by night waking ds!!!

sheeplikessleep · 10/11/2009 15:18

yes i do still fancy dh, but i'm reminded of it when he makes me giggle , does lovely things for me (rather than thinking phwoar continuously iyswim?).

he has a pair or jeans that every time he wears them, i do think mmmmm and when he comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped around him.

how to keep the romance going? effort, patience and thinking before i speak (in my case!)

Malificence · 10/11/2009 15:29

More than ever, after 27 years I can't keep my hands off him - just the smell of him does funny things to me.
Bringing up a family and shift work must do more damage to relationships than people realise. We now work compatible shifts and our daughter has gone to Uni, it's bliss to have the time for each other in a way we haven't had for over 20 years, going to bed at the same time and waking up together has had a massively positive effect on us.

I also wonder if my hormones are having a last surge before the menopause, sex is better at 43 than in my 20's or 30's, my poor confused hubby went from a couple of times a month if he was lucky, to almost every day ( it would be every day if I had my way) I don't know if he's pleased or terrified!

PotPourri · 10/11/2009 15:35

Yes, often. And by keeping trying. Even when you don;t freel like it, stay close and make yourself do the things you used to together - you will feel like it again with practice. And finally, get yourself some nice underwear - it works wonders for how lovey dovey you feel

AbricotsSecs · 10/11/2009 15:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Malificence · 10/11/2009 15:53

I know what you mean sheep - I look at him in a certain pair of jeans and his abercrombie top and think yummm.
When he comes home from work it takes a huge effort not to start undressing him the minute he walks in! It's the glasses + shirt and tie I think.
Fresh out of the shower in a towel is another fave, I soon get him dirty again.
His FB photo is of him coming out of a turquoise Miami sea a'la James Bond ( that sounds as if he's really vain but it was a joke), he looks bloody gorgeous in it.

Someone told him he looked like Tom cruise in Valkyrie but I don't think a Nazi uniform would be very appropriate, he would look very fetching though. Very "Night Porter-ish" .

Original poster
stirfry · 10/11/2009 15:55

I do still fancy DH but we never get the chance to have sex lately, just once since DD was born a couple of months ago.

Plus how do you manage it with a baby sharing your bedroom and when I am in bed at 8 just to stand a chance of getting some sleep before the round of night feeds start?

We have 2 older children too so don't fancy a quicky on the couch in case they walk in!

OP posts:
Fruitbatlings · 10/11/2009 15:59

Oh dea4. I've been married to my DH for less than two months and been together nearly 9 years. I don't fancy mine anymore. Thought this was normal

gemmummy · 10/11/2009 16:01

yep, he's a fox my fella. On our rare nights out when he smartens himself up he's edible!

Purplebuns · 10/11/2009 16:04

You might be just going through a patch.
Go shopping on Ann summers together, or try doing something different. Share fantasies and so on.
Goodluck, if you love him I am sure it will come back!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 10/11/2009 16:06

My dh is gorgeous, he is the kindest most generous man I have ever met. He is improving with age and is a tremendous dad. Irreplacable.

Malificence · 10/11/2009 16:21

This make such a nice change from the " my husband is useless / having an affair /obsessed with porn" threads that are so frequent on here.

I'm a bit for fruitbatlings though.

daftpunk · 10/11/2009 16:24

yes...because he's 6ft 2 and beautiful....

and he makes me laugh...and he's kind..

Booyhoo · 10/11/2009 16:30

yes, more so than ever. it helps that he is very fit (gym 2/3 times a day). and very trendy dresswise.

but tbh it wasnt his looks that i fell for it was his personality and still is. he makes me laugh like no-one ever could.

also OH is away all the time, ony gets home occasional weekends so we still make the effort to go out to the cinema and meals when he is home. and absence makes the heart grow fonder.

SkaterGrrrrl · 10/11/2009 16:30

Hell yeah! I adore him. Fancy him madly.

Only been together 5 years though!

Malificence · 10/11/2009 16:33

Meant to say I agree with Scorps - it's the little things that are so easy to let slide but are very important in keeping things alive.

My hubby rings me every night when he's on his break and I'm at work, even if it's just to say how are you.
I sit and talk to him when he's in the bath or I get in with him and scrub his back, he kisses me every night when he gets home ( to my shame I forgot a couple of times last week when he was off and it was me coming in from work ).

Once you start making the effort it comes naturally, flirting is good too, as are sexy undies - they do make you feel different.

It's surprising how being made to "wait" is a huge turn on as well, get him to play hard to get for a change - it works wonders for me anyway.

minervaitalica · 10/11/2009 16:40

Yes! Loads... And he is getting better with age too. Tight jeans and the black top picked out by a gay shop assistant... Works wonders...

Fruitbatlings · 10/11/2009 16:41

So you all still fancy your DH's?
Think I'm on the wrong thread, really don't want to bring the thread down if I'm the only one

CountessDracula · 10/11/2009 16:42

God yes
we have been together 20 years and I still fancy him enormously!

InterruptingKid · 10/11/2009 16:52

no
not every day.
when he tarts up

InterruptingKid · 10/11/2009 16:53

lol at " go shopping ot ann summers togther"

are you trying ot make her divorce?

roxi09 · 10/11/2009 18:26

No, not in the slightest (wish I did). Don't have a clue how to get it back, think the spark has been out for far long for me now to ever get back(I am doing something about it though, having a last attempt to make a go of it and relate etc).

scottishmummy · 10/11/2009 18:31

yes
we make time for each other.
call daily.
and on regular basis when children in nursery we go for lunch and spend adult time together.