Title says it all! DH moved out a month ago for a "trial separation" (his words). We share the kids, alternating weekends an DH comes here 2x week to do bath/bedtimes.
As there is no real reason he's going except "we're just not right for each other", I think I expected him to come back, so I've been looking good, cheerful, upbeat and optimistic when he's here. No deep conversations, no tears, no friendly chats but all very civil.
Last night when he was here I asked him if he thought we'd done the right thing, and he at first said, "Do you?" then "Yes, as we're just not right for each other."
I pretended to be OK then had to run upstairs and bawl my eyes out, silently!
Now I'm just so fed up. It's all hit me. I'm a failure. No matter what my friends and family tell me, I'm obviously a big fat ugly noting as I can't keep my husband. I look at other married women and think, "Why me? What do I do that is sooo horrible that my DH would prefer to live alone in a 1-bed house, away from his beloved DC, rather than with us?"
The road ahead just seems so long, and bleak, and tiring. I don't know what to do. On the surface I seem OK, except I seem to need to talk to everybody about what's happened, I can't stop. And I just need to know what's going to happen in the future. I even found myself texting in to Psychic Interactive on TV!
I can' look at DH today and I'm finding it vv hard to be at all friendly or warm. I know I could easily slip into being a bitch. But I'm so sad. So horribly, horribly sad.
Please give me a non-MN hug!