Tips for getting our groove back

[oliveoil]

It is our 9 year anniversary today (married 2) and the past few weeks have been a rocky bad patch, culminating in us rowing on Monday saying that we would not be together if we didn't have children .

But last night we had a good talk and really cleared the air and have decided to give each other a joint kick up the arse to try and get back to how we were.

So we are going to go out EVERY week somewhere just the two of us. Talk instead of reading the papers on separate sofas at night. Be kind (I know I have been very short and abrupt of late, feel mean about that).

And just generally start making an effort. Two babies in two years is a stressful thing and I don't think we have made allowances for that.

xx

That's very good news OO! I am so pleased for you

Your post sounds really positive oliveoil. How about cooking each other delicious meals - you do Saturday night, he does Sunday night.

I know you've got 2 little ones, but could you manage a weekend away somewhere nice - just the two of you?
It is amazing how quickly the feeling of being 'yourselves' as a 'couple' rather than just being a frazzled mummy and daddy, comes back to you. And then you can carry that feeling on, back in your 'everyday' lives.

And I am also going to learn to drive, 35 and I can't PATHETIC. And we are going to pinch some of the equity in our house, do it up and go on a holiday.

I do feel positive, it was awful yesterday, went to bed without making up which we never do and I just moped all day, horrid.

I learned to drive at 30! never too late! and I was Cr*p, too OK now tho

We had slipped into a pattern of sitting on separate sofas every evening, dinner on our laps and either watching whatever happened to be on (whether we were interested or not) or reading. Plus one of us might be on the internet in another room. Having got to where you're at now, we now only watch a programme if we really want to (and switch the TV off otherwise), sit up at the table to eat dinner with some music on and if we are sitting watching telly, we sit on the same sofa . It all helps.

What do you talk about, tho?

Oh OO, I can totally relate to what you are saying.

Two babies in two years is a sressful thing, but at least you are talking about it. It's when you stop talking that things are really bad.

I'm trying to organise a weekend for dh and I for our wedding anniversary in August. My ds is 3 and we have never had a weekend away together without him.

I'm with you on the driving thing. I can't drive either and know I should learn. Quite frankly I'd rather stick pins in my eyes as I'm crap.

We could start our own learning to drive thread!

good luck to you both oo