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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Tips for the broken hearted.

9 replies

poshsinglemum · 17/10/2009 00:33

As i spend a lot of time getting my heart broken (see my other threads) and i read about so many broken hearts on here, i thought i'd start a thread for those who want to heal after love has gone.

These are my tips;

Rediscover your girl friends and spend as much time with them as possible.

Rediscover yourself and take up hobbies he dissaproved of- rebel against him.

Have a make over

Watch lots of comedies.

Come on here and chat!

please feel free to add your coping strategies.

OP posts:
commeuneimage · 17/10/2009 08:09

Lots of exercise, especially walks with the dog.

Anniegetyourgun · 17/10/2009 08:15

Shopping, aka retail therapy. If you're on a tight budget it will have to be mostly window shopping, but if you can, buy something very small but totally frivolous which is just for YOU. If you're terribly rich, buy a whole outfit, preferably of a type your ex would totally disapprove of.

Oh, and chocolate. Chocolate is the universal panacea.

FABIsInTraining · 17/10/2009 08:57

Don't force yourself to get over him before you are ready.

Don't listen to other people over yourself.

Accept it will take time.

NotMeAnyMore · 17/10/2009 11:10

FAB that is the most refreshing thing I've read about getting over a broken heart in a long time, thankyou

As someone currently nursing a broken heart and struggling somewhat about it here are things that I've done:

  • move back to my 'home' area - quite specific in my case but I'd moved to be with him, I did have a job there but no other ties that weren't his friends originally etc. Gave up my job too but it wasn't enough to keep me there.
  • reconnected with old girlfriends (and male platonic friends), met up for lunches/dinners, gone to the theatre, art galleries, shopping trips. Especially helpful with single girlfriends, but the smug marrieds have been nice as well (and one even got rid of her DH for the weekend to spend with me, which was lovely!)
  • wrote a list of 50 things I've done in my life that I'm proud of/glad I've done, which was a real confidence booster, I think everyone should do this. Once you get going it's really easy to think of 50.
  • then wrote a list of 50 things I wanted to do that I hadn't yet, and got working on it! Hence I've tried wakeboarding, have tickets to see a ballet, started reading a classic novel, signed up for an OU philosophy course etc
  • got a tattoo....my one act of rebellion, as he never wanted me to get one (it wasn't a massive issue though if I had got one before). Other than that I'm not really feeling the whole 'do things he didn't like' thing - I'm still me, and I've always done things I wanted to anyway.
  • I've done the whole new exercise regime/walked the legs off the dogs/new outfits thing - had to really as I lost 1.5 stone in about a month and all my clothes fell off!
  • revel in time for yourself. Rather than thinking "if we were still together we'd spend this evening doing XYZ together, sigh, I'll just watch crap telly by myself" try to retrain your brain to think "I'm going to take advantage of this time to myself to read this book/watch this film/pamper myself" etc
  • I found it helpful at first to avoid everyday 'us' things, like we always used to watch question time together, or get a certain takeaway, or read a certain paper, I couldn't do those things without getting sad, even though they were things I liked doing. It does still make me sad sometimes but now I do them because I want to for me, so I guess that's progress.
  • know that it's ok to cry sometimes and don't feel bad for doing so. It's normal, you hurt, and it's ok to be sad about that.
FABIsInTraining · 17/10/2009 14:13

When I finished with the boyfriend I had before meeting DH, I coloured my hair darker as soon as I could after finishing with him as he wanted me to stay blonde. I met DH the next day and loked fab .

NotMeAnyMore · 17/10/2009 15:56

I went into the hairdresser and asked her to cut all my hair short.........she refused and said that I probably wasn't at my sanest right then and she wasn't cutting my long lovely hair off over a stupid man!!!

As a result I have a lovely new 'do' that looked very different but still kept the length.

megmums · 17/10/2009 20:26

What good advice, i will definately be following some of it in the future...

Definately treating yourself, with chocolate, new hair cut/colour, clothes etc..

tiredoftherain · 17/10/2009 20:36

I've done all of those just today!

ninah · 17/10/2009 20:37

drink says Father Jack (belch)

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