Double your money, double your fun ... Have a group marriage?

[Iamapolytoo]

"Group marriage is a form of polyamory in which more than one man and more than one woman form a family unit, with all the members of the group marriage being considered to be married to all the other members of the group marriage, and all members of the marriage share parental responsibility for any children arising from the marriage."

Oh no. I clicked thinking it was going to be about how much money people are saving on registry office/reception venue etc.
I remember Extended and co.

"It is almost evangelical the way it goes on about bunking up with your sis and brother in law"
well put Scaryfucker.

Lulumama has it in one.

I'm sure there are plenty of poly-friendly websites that would enable you to discuss your freakery lifestyle freely and with other freaks like minded folk.
Why do you feel the need to amuse annoy everyone here with your stories?

Malificence, it's the attitude of bigotted fuckwits people like you that makes people whose life choices are not the same need to talk about what they do. There is nothing indefensible about polyamory, swinging or group sex between consenting adults. (The thread about the bloke who is threatening to take another wife illustrates plain old domestic abuse and religiously-induced misogyny).
To say that because some people have had bad experiences of multiple relationships they must be inherently wrong is daft. You could make a much better case against heteromonogamous marriage when you consider the amount of violence often used to enforce it.

mind you, I never considered Extended the best adbert for sexual diversity myself...

I think the point that some of you are missing is that Mumsnet is supposed to be an inclusive group. The hostility shown by some posters to the OP really goes against that principle.

In a group marriage there are far more checks and balances than you would find in a more conventional arrangement. Domestic abuse or violence is much harder to imagine when there are other adults around 24/7. It is quite absurd to compare it to a Turkish harem or Mormons in the USA.

Think of the advantages. When the girls were little childcare was so much simpler, far less scuttling around trying to sort it out with four adults in the house.

I do the cooking on alternate days, such as today's fish and chips. Sis cooks tomorrow so I have an easier time.

absolutely spot on dittany

the cultural aspects aside, and to lower the tone (as is usual for me), I just think it is a joke, the way these people dress up shagging around like some sort of higher state of being...

if fucking lots of people is your bag, just admit it, don't get all evangelical about it

certainly don't go bragging about it, and starting multiple threads that you know will create controversy, just for the sake of it

you are not going to convert anyone on MN, poly-whatever-the-fuck-your-name-is-this-week

scuttling around?, I think that is done in the haysheds isn't it poly ?

If being a bigotted fuckwit means I'm not pandering to the views of such people, I'm quite happy to be seen as such.
What's so damn great about being open minded anyway?

It was the comment about me being part of the extended clan that pigged me of more than anything else really.
My views are my own and I'm not in collusion with anyone else on these boards.

I'm actually more of a minority anyway, given that I have an "extreme monogamy fetish" - that's the pigeonhole you came up with for me I believe?

"I think the point that some of you are missing is that Mumsnet is supposed to be an inclusive group. The hostility shown by some posters to the OP really goes against that principle."

The hostility has nothing to do with pologamy. (apart from Mal, but she tends to get a bit rabid about this subject) It has EVERYTHING to do with you being a troll.

I remember that thread. You were called Extended back then, and then you came onto that thread as several other people too. Do you think we're thick?

The fact that you live with you sister and you both share your husbands is great. Well done. Good for you. (If any of it were true. Which I doubt)

these threads are bloody good value though, aren't they ?

Who knew?

FISH AND CHIPS FOR TEA!

Oh tell us more of this exciting and different lifestyle you lead.

I do agree wtih scaryfucker

so far, there has been nothing posted from the polys to convince me it is anything other than a way to have an open marriage.

whihc i have grave reservations about, its not my thing, but good luck to you who want to try it

DIttany: I never claimed that all poly relationships are perfect any more than I would claim all heteromongamous relationships are dull, conformist or riddled with abuse. ANd the people who want to engage in different types of relationship after serious thought and discussion (not just wanky inadequate blokes who really like the idea of women as property) tend to talk about polyamory to distinguish it from polygamy, the latter being the Mormon/demented religious redneck/unfortunate high incidence of child abuse type of situations.

the mundanity of fish and chips seems out of context for such an unusual relationship

what next, shepherds pie ?

don't answer that

Jobs are allocated on the basis of inclination, aptitude and "who is available at the time something needs to be done".

Sis and I like cooking so we do it. Co-husbands are good at dealing with slow or late payers so they do that. When girls were younger whoever wasn't cooking would walk to the end of the lane to meet the school bus.

Are you seriously telling me there is any other way to allocate work?

SGB - I think your well thought out and articulated views on sexuality must be known by many here - you might be using the same words as this particularly unpleasant troll but the reasons behind them seem, to me at least, to be worlds apart. I come away from discussions with you with a more open mind on the diversity of human sexuality - I don't think the same can be said for this troll because (s)he is here to stir and get a response. Unfortunately it seems to bring out the unnecessary judgemental sides in some. Their loss, I think.

"surely polyamory means loving everyone in the relationship in a sexual way? But having sex with your sister would be incest no?"

My sister and I have a loving but non-sexual (in the way I suspect you are using it)relationship. My co-husbands also have a loving but non-sexual relationship.

BTW the emotional support aspect of a poly relationship is every bit as important as the sexual side, especially as you get older.

so, basically, its more wife-swapping set-up rather than a true polyamory relationship?

what happens if the guys start fancying one of you more than the other?

I was under the impression that the idea behind polyamory was to equally love each member of the relationship and to indulge in sexual situations with each member of the relationship? That is my opinion of polyamory; the equal love and sexual attraction between each member of the group and the willingness to 'share' one another with the other people in the group.

I think polyamory can be a good thing, however, imo, you are not in a poly-relationship and, as the others have said, you are just swapping partners. Swingers. Nothing more really.

Don't get obsessed with labels. Our way is for Sis and I to have two men in our lives whom we regard and interact with as husbands.

So in my case there are three people who I care deeply for and with whom I share my life
With two I have a typical husband wife relationship, with Sis I have a lot more than the typical sister/sister relationship but not, I suspect, more than most twins experience.

Its worked fine for over 30 years.