well it blew up in my face..

[haven]

i posted before that i didn't know what to do. well i told dh the verdict..i didn't want MIL to pay for my school, but i can't get a loan. and he doesn't care.. he said i need to let go of shi*t. i am so sad, and upset. is he right? do i hang on to stuff? thought that is what made me a good person. i don't do those things to people and i don't let people keep on doing those things to me. and i don't have a price.

haven, sorry you're having a hard time, but could you give me a link to the post you're refering to?XX

hi haven
I read your other post. Does DH not realise how his mother makes you feel? Does he not share your concerns that if you accept the money, you feel MIL will remind you of the fact or use it against you?

perhaps ur DH realises how much you want to go to college & thinks its a small price to pay.

i dont think ur wrong at all btw - quite the opposite.

I read your other post haven and agree 100% with how you feel about being independant and appreciating what you achieve for yourself without help. It does make you feel so much stronger as a person. The downside is what you are going through now that others see your refusal of help as a negative thing. From what you have said about your mother-in-law I do think that it would be a huge mistake to take the money from her. You will be reminded of it for ever more.

The only possible solution i can think of (and i'm not sure its a viable solution anyway) is for dh to loan/borrow the money from his mum and then for you to take it as a loan from him. Bit mad maybe... Or can you take a loan from the bank with your m-i-l as a guarantor at least then when you've paid the loan back your obligation is over. Its a very difficult question I so understand how you feeel about taking her money, on the other hand its a shame to change your plans to study and presumably change your life in someway just for this. Is there absolutely no way that you can get financial support from elsewhere?

Just read your post from last night on the other thread. Keep away from her money. Nothing is worth all that.