Should I be worried my dh is cheating?

[wh00ps]

Right, I've name changed for this because anyone reading it will know it's me and I want to keep my other identity secret.

On saturday morning I was sitting on my bedroom floor drying my hair and noticed 2 pairs of womens underwear that are not mine. I asked dh where they had come from and he said he hasn't seen them before and doesn't know where they came from. I have asked various people if they are theirs or know how they got into our room (dd, neighbour, suster etc) and no one has any answers.

I haven't actually accused dh of anything but he knows what is on my mind and has become angry that he is doubted. I have found his behaviour a bit twitchy regarding this but it could just be me being utterly paranoid and looking for any explanation.

A couple of my neighbours who I am close with have reassured me that they have never seen any unusual comings or goings at my house when I'm at work (they are SAHM's).

I have been in turmoil all weekend about this and I am shaking just typing it because I have a feeling I know what you lot will say.

I have no other reason to doubt my dh and I feel gutted that I have to now. I'm terrified my family is going to fall apart either because he is doing something or because I am accusing him!

Frankly, maybe you should get the housework back under control and look at your laundry arrangements. See if you can identify where they're coming from over the next couple of weeks.

It doesn't sound like an affair - it sounds like knickers blowing off someone else's line to me.

we're not ready to joke about this yet - it's all still too raw! Dh would be gutted if he know i'd posted on here - and even more so if he realised I looked through his drawers!

I can't say there isn't a tiny niggle in my mind, no reason other than being utterly paranoid! It's wierd because at the same time I also feel terrible that my dh is now hurting as much as me!

There is nothing either of us can say or do to make things any better right now!

I have left knickers out in a very obvious place today as our cleaner should be coming - hopefully they will have mysterously dissapeared when I get home!

The most likely culprit would be your dd I think.
SHe probably gets changed for swimming/PE or whatever at school and is scooping up some of the other girls spare pants when she is stuffing her own stuff in her bag.
There was a post on her once before about a MN finding pants in her laundry she didn't recognise until she found the rest of the mutipack in her own drawer and realised she had actually bought them herself and forgotten.

I don't honestly understand how it has got to this stage with your dh that you are both so hurt and upset over this and TBH an affair seems less likely now that a third pair has turned up.

wh))ps I hoipe you get to the bottom of this soon. Please let us know if you solve the mystery!

They are adult pants so I hope dd is not finding them at shcool! They are not matching so not part of a multi pack and the labels have been removed from 2 which I have never done. Dd is 9 so reliable enough to know if she's seen them before. Ds is 3 so I haven't asked him.

I think the only thing we can do is brush this under the carpet and hope it all goes away and is forgotten as quickly as possible!

I think someone is definately winding you up, is it possible the cleaner fancies your dh and wants to rock the boat?

I should hope not and wouldn't think so but I guess at this moment in time anything is possible really!

Our cleaner is my bil's sister so it would be a bit wierd though!

When I was 9 I know I could easily have accidentally brought other people's things home and would absolutely denied it to hell and back. Just as I denied that there was any possibility that swinging while dragging my feet wrecked my shoes or that my underwear had got too small if they were cute and I liked them.

I am Port's sensible but pretty knicker wearer and it happened exactly as she said. I claim back my pants!

Alternatively, I'm wondering if someone (builder/cleaner/cat) is redistributing knickers for fun (people do the oddest things you know). Have any of yours gone missing?

It does sound like a prank. Rise above it serenely.

OK I might get shot for this but could your DD have stolen them from a shop and taken the tags off hoping you wouldn't notice her new undies? The only reason i say this is ummm i did this sometimes in my early teen days when my mum wouldn't buy me stuff like undies,makeup,hair stuff. Im now a wiser woman

They are too big for dd and she is not allowed to the shops alone yet. She spends her spare time playing outside our house.

Worth a thought though!

just popped home, I had left them out as cleaner was coming today. The cleaner has moved them but not taken them so probably not hers although I will ask if and when I see her.

What building work are you having done. Have they taken radiators off? Quite often people dry their underwear on these and they fall behind. Take off the radiator and voila! They could belong to the previous owners??

I've found knickers that are not mine in my knicker drawer recently

Neither of us have any idea how they got there

I suspect that if one's DH is so foolish as to leave out (or indeed, launder and then put away) another woman's knickers, then he is likely to have left a few other clues beforehand

Life is full of random knickers

This thread is bizarre yet thought provking...however,

EITHER

someone is accidentally collecting and dropping random pants

OR

someone is really trying to wind you up

OR

someone is a kleptomaniac and hiding the evidence

I know this sounds strange but at work we once had someone who stole women's knickers from shops, brought them to work with the labels removed and then stuffed them down the works toilets.
He was 23 and was found out on a hidden camera, after facilities realised that this toilet got blocked every week at the same time, and was full of unlabelled women's undies when the plumber turned up.

nope, no radiators removed but good thinking!

mp - did it not drive you mad wondering about the knickeres?

you need Horatio Caine to come and have a gander

he'll get to the bottom of it

No it didn't really drive me mad

Last year we found a pair of EXTRA LARGE men's pants in DH's drawer

He was but I do not have an Extra Large lover, I can assure you

MP is the voice of reason here.

Chalk it up to the opposite of the great biro heaven in the sky.

My DH found some weird male pants in our laundry. They got put away with Dh's stuff. Have no idea how they got there. Have never ever cheated or even brought a bloke in the house.

I found an underwired corset (not a sexy one, more the type a housewife would have worn in the 70s) wrapped around our TV aerial once. The one on the chimney!

wh00ps, do you have cats? Or do your neighbours have a cat that sometimes gets into your house? My cat used to bring me "presents" that included dead (or dying) birds and mice, a slipper from my flatmate, little toys... and yes, laundry that she picked up from the neighbour's washing line!

BTW my post of 08:18 was not exactly true - I am simply fascinated by all the tales of rogue underwear turning up all over people's houses and wanting to join in .

When I met DH his house was an absolute tip and I started to decorate it for him. I found loads of pairs of pants down the back of the radiators as I painted behind them - I didn't need to take them off (the radiators, that is).

A true story here - when my Mum was in her thirties (this would have been in the 1960s) she was bought a birthday present by a married couple she knew. It was a very nice, expensive, bra and knickers set, an extravagant present for their social circle at that time. Something the wife said made my Mum realise that it was the husband who had chosen it. She thought about a married man buying underwear as a present for a married woman but, this being the sixties when money and treats were scarce, decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, and so she accepted the gift gracefully and wore the underwear. Not long afterwards, it disappeared from the washing line. To this day she remains convinced that it was taken by the husband, who had been so keen to choose it for her. There are a lot of funny people out there!

Reading this thread had made me realise what a spiffing wheeze it would be, on a hot summer's day, to creep about people's back gardens and mix up the underwear on the washing lines. Oh to be a student again!

Have you been away or on holiday recently? Could you have scooped everything out of the drawer in the hotel/wherever and inadvertently acquired the previous occupiers pants?

Have they blown off a neighbours washing line or ended up blown into your garden somehow, and the builder has picked them up and put them in your room trying to be helpful? (Would explain why they were in the middle of the room and clean).

Could they be from years ago (yours or the previous owners) and have been disturbed by the moving of furniture/walls/floorboards due to building work?

There are so many ways they might've turned up, especially when your house is occupied by a builder and cleaner!