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Original poster

How much does your DH/DP do with your children?

30 replies

wangle99 · 27/09/2009 20:13

This is a curiosity question really... If you have a DH/DP that works fulltime and you have child/children, does he do anything with them on a daily basis? play with them? bath? bed? read story?

I realise there isn't a 'normal' situation but am curious.

Thank you!

OP posts:
ShinyAndNew · 27/09/2009 20:17

A fair bit actually, though I work Tues and thurs night so he has no option

He does most of the weekend stuff too. He is currently drying dd2 after bathing her and yesterday spent all afternoon at the park with them.

brimfull · 27/09/2009 20:17

dh is lucky and is home form work by 5ish so plays with ds ,either footie or whatever

takes him to bed and reads plays

plays footie and golf with him on days off

,he did the same with dd when she ws small but worked different hours so it was mostly concentrated at weekends then

and he cooks dinner too

alarkaspree · 27/09/2009 20:18

Dh leaves home about 7.30am, gets home 7.30pm. He often gets up first to play with the children before he gets ready for work (they are early risers) and usually tells them a last story before they go to sleep. So although he doesn't get to do much with them during the week, he does spend almost all the time that he is at home and they are awake doing stuff with them.

brimfull · 27/09/2009 20:18

reads/plays

he doesn't read shakepeare to him

Blu · 27/09/2009 20:18

yes, he does 50% of all bedtimes, cooking for DS, breakfasts, homework, etc.

We both work f/t and huggle long and short days between us, so both do an equal amount.

CNyle · 27/09/2009 20:19

ah ti all gets better and less demarcated when they are older.
Mine does everyhting I do now they are all of school age, in fact they LOVE spending time with him

lal123 · 27/09/2009 20:19

we both work fulltime - and he probably does more with DD that I do at the moment (I'm 37 weeks preg). He tends to bath her and take her to bed/read to her most nights. At weekends we do stuff as a family - so again he does as much as me

Arsed · 27/09/2009 20:22

He does whatever needs doing at the time, changes wet beds at 3am, blow drys hai, makes packed lunches and that's on top of all the playing, Reading and cuddles.

He's very hands on and he works full time .. I'm on maternity leave !

ThingOne · 27/09/2009 20:24

Since I stopped breastfeeding (I did it for a while) he has done most of the early mornings. Ours are early risers. We think we've hit the jackpot when we get both past 6am for more than two days in a row. It helps that he works from home and can go back for a quick nap at 7.30, set his alarm for 8.45am and be at work on time.

He works until six. We share the time after six. Some days I'm so fed up he does all of it. He tends to do stories and last cuddles.

It works quite well, apart from him being knackered. He does get a lot of real hands on time, not just taking fed and dressed children to the park for an hour.

pagwatch · 27/09/2009 20:24

DH does an astonishing amount.
he plays with them , takes them to rugby or ballet or gym, takes them shopping, cooks with them, does so much.

I watch a lot

mwff · 27/09/2009 20:24

gets up with them, gets them dressed/breakfasted, makes sandwiches for eldest, takes her to school... does baths/showers, does (at least) one story, puts (at least) one to bed.

mwff · 27/09/2009 20:25

also takes eldest to after school thing.

sunburntats · 27/09/2009 20:27

hmm, we both work full time.
We try to do half BUT ususal story, it ends up bieng me that does the lions share.

dh is FAB with ds though, takes him off camping, to parties, out and about and as he is a teacher, has him every day int he holidays.

we take it in turns to do bath & story, and he does some of the cooking.
never does washing, hoovering, ironing etc, i do all of that.

does piss me off allot, but then, i dont do any DIY or repairs, dh does all of that, rewired the house etc. so its about fair i would say.

artichokes · 27/09/2009 20:31

My DH is a star. He works fulltime but loves getting involved at home. Our girls are early risers and he always gets up with them in the morning and gives the breakfast/does the morning nappies/brushes teeth etc. We do the evening routine together - usually taking charge of one child each. He reads their story every night but I BF the baby while he reads. At weekends we do about 50/50. This weekend I have been ill so he has done everything.

tryingherbest · 27/09/2009 20:48

Oh god - mine does almost nothing with ds.

He would change the odd nappy, take him to the loo and cook him a meal. He'll take over and get him dressed if I need to pop out to go buy food but that's about it. Playing very little - and I've got to say I think he's taken ds to park possibly once this year. More likely to take ds to his workplace so he can have a chat with colleagues. When he gets in or is at home he watches tv and sleeps. But he does work long long hours though.

I feel really bloody angry now.

Is this normal - can anyone please post a similar scenario so I don't feel so sad. Please?

brimfull · 27/09/2009 20:49

my dh works 12hr days but finishes at 5 so has free time when ds is awake

cory · 27/09/2009 20:49

A lot. Basically, we share the time when we are both there.

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 27/09/2009 20:50

He gets their breakfast every morning, helps them get dressed, does their teeth and finishes any homework.

When he gets in he does homework, listens to them read, baths them, gets them ready for bed.

100% dad when he is here.

Original poster
wangle99 · 27/09/2009 20:52

me too tryingherbest that is why I asked.

DS is 5, DD is 12. DH does pretty much nothing. He forgot to put DS to bed last week was too busy on pc on feckin facebook.

He gets DS ready for bed everynight which is in theory he lies on our bed playing his PSP whilst DS gets ready for bed himself, DH makes sure he's in bed and sometimes reads him a story (but that is because DD used to do it and she's at boarding school now).

Doesn't do anything else. Actually I lie he does give him tea twice a week but that is because I've just started college and he HAS too although I do worry he'll forget.

tryingherbest you are not alone

OP posts:
Caz10 · 27/09/2009 20:52

tryingherbest you probably don't want to hear this but I think you should be angry!!

Different scenario cos my dh works shifts, so although its FT hours he does a lot of nights. So I'd say he has dd for the full day at least 4 days a week, also lots of playing, bathtimes, bedtimes, swimming etc.

neither of us have time to watch TV and DEF not when dd is about.

FimboFortunaFeet · 27/09/2009 20:56

My dh leaves home about 7.45am and gets home after 6.30pm

He gets the dc up and sorts out their breakfast.

He takes/collects dd from Brownies. (he made chocolate truffles for a brownie do yesterday).

He took ds to see the new Thomas film today.

We all went on a bike ride later and dh had ds on the tag-along.

He will have both of them on the odd Saturday when I go shopping for the day.

Ds and him were tickling each other senseless on the sofa last night whilst dd and I were trying to watch SCD - amusing but annoying.

whyme2 · 27/09/2009 21:02

tryingherbest - here with you.
My dh is better than he used to be but still does relativly little with the dcs (4)

When he worked days he did even less because he worked long hours. Now he is on nights he does more. School pick ups, grocery shopping with toddler and playing, ie riding bikes.

I would like him to do more tbh. He can put them to bed if i am out (very rare) but it is usually a shortened version of the bedtime routine.

He does no housework so I do push him to look after the dcs some of the time.

Although the last time I left the children with him for a day I came home to find two kittens and two frogs had moved in . .

TheFallenMadonna · 27/09/2009 21:04

DH gets the children up, breakfasted and to school every morning. I leave before they get up. I do the pick up from after school club and tea. When I didn't work he did every bedtime that he was here. Now we both work FT and do roughly half each, but to no strict rota. We try to divide and conquer on the homework. I dunno - we do just do what needs doing.

tryingherbest · 27/09/2009 21:07

Cas - my dh also works shifts - mainly evenings and weekends but he's not the only one to work long hours and its not good enough.

I took ds out today and he was asking who all the daddies were with their kids. Because he doesn't get this experience.

He has a thurday off and used to look after ds while I was at work but it couldn't cope so we put ds into nursery for half the day - he still couldn't cope and only thing he'd do sometimes is take him out to a restaurant to meet with dh's friends! Has done the bath routine possilby three times this year.

Not good enough quite honestly.

ShinyAndNew · 27/09/2009 21:11

tryingherbest how old is your ds? When dd2 was small Dh didn't do much for her

When she got older and started moving about and responding to him more she became much more interesting to him.

She is still up because she won't settle. They are snuggled up on the sofa together watching Charlie and Lola together. I haven't had to lift a finger since dinner time