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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Voilent XH, access to DS

8 replies

ImGrandThanks · 20/09/2009 20:47

How does it work?

Any happy endings?

I am asuming as the courts allow access it must go well?

I am worried out of my mind here but there must be reasons why this is seen as a good thing?

In my situation I cant see anything good but I want the best for my DS

OP posts:

Original poster

ImGrandThanks · 20/09/2009 22:25

OP posts:

OnlyWantsOneDoesntLikeDM · 20/09/2009 22:29

uh goodness, it is never good - Im sorry, Im mid way through courts with my violent XP and my DD.

He hasnt seen her in over 13 months since a violent episode - which was the first one I reported to the police.

Have you ever had any involvment of police, medical records? Some substantive evidence of his violence towards you / DS that could be used in court?

Do you have a good solicitor.

GypsyMoth · 20/09/2009 22:36

Am halfway through too.

Have a good cafcass officer and asked for a forensic psychiatric assesment of the ex. This is for those men with criminal records. It showed him up to be a fool, as I already knew, but this proved that , and more. I would recommend this route.

Looks like he will only get indirect contact.

Original poster

ImGrandThanks · 20/09/2009 22:42

oh god that doesnet look good

I dont have a solictor yet

OP posts:

Original poster

ImGrandThanks · 20/09/2009 22:52

and no cafcass in the country I live in...

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 20/09/2009 22:55

Ask for an asessment yourself then, or it's equivalent. Take no chances with a violent man

OnlyWantsOneDoesntLikeDM · 21/09/2009 09:50

ILOve tifanny, I think I have asked you questions before - how do I get an assesment of my X?

My cafcass officer and I do not like each other. Which is a BIG problem.

My X only has a criminal record for the one incident I reported him for and even then he was only ound over to keep the peace - no criminal conviction and he made counterclaims about me

GypsyMoth · 21/09/2009 14:15

its difficult to get one with no mental health/criminal grounds,i believe. but my cafcass officer is horrified by my ex,she keeps saying 'this is first time in my career i have ever done this/come across this' etc,so i think the forensic asessment was going to be suggested anyway.

this assesment has shown up what it is my ex suffers from,so has been good as he can get the correct treatment,if he takes it. but we have alot of documented history,there is also alot with the 2 girlfriends he has had since me too. so that has helped.

its all about proof.

Flip