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Original poster

Is there a good reason not to take your passport on a business trip to Europe?

139 replies

lisbey · 20/09/2009 20:19

Just that really. A married man, telling his wife he has to spend 2 nights a week in main land Europe for the foreseeable future, while a troublesome job is completed.

After the first trip she realised he hadn't asked her to find his passport, and whilst he's an intelligent man she would usually do such things for him. 2nd time, she checked the drawer while he was away and the passport was still there. Trying to be positive for her, but I can't think of a decent explanation.

She doesn't want to confront him because she "trusts him", but also, I suspect because she doesn't really want to know.

OP posts:
Mybox · 21/09/2009 09:22

He'll need a passport for id as well plus for checking into a hotel.

LynetteScavo · 21/09/2009 09:32

Are you OK, lisbey?

squeaver · 21/09/2009 09:52

Dilly - did the postcard say "the cuckoo flies at midnight"?

Everything is pointing to something seriously dodgy here.

DillyTantay · 21/09/2009 11:22

well it was very mysterious
hold on
new thread

DillyTantay · 21/09/2009 11:25

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/829158-the-missing-passport-what-family-mysteries-do-yOU-have

DillyTantay · 21/09/2009 11:26

lisbey
lots of women seem to let affairs happen - fear of being on their own - loss of percieved status etc

hunlet · 21/09/2009 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bucharest · 21/09/2009 11:29

In some European countries they won't let you check into a hotel without one either....to dp's horror when he took me for a dirty w/e from our house to a hotel approx 30 km away, they wouldn't let me check in as I had no ppt. (with me being all "well, durr, I didn't know going 3 towns up the coast necessitated crossing a feckin border") We had to come home and fetch it.

Sounds well dodgy to me. I can't see, in this day and age of plastic bottles in ziplock bags etc and general paranoia that anyone would be able to get even as far as the duty free shop without a ppt.

skihorse · 21/09/2009 11:38

He's having an affair - why are people pretending he's a man of mystery?

Travelling in/out of the UK to Europe is virtually impossible without a passport - other countries may be allowed to use official ID cards - the UK does not of course have those. Plus, if any of us did that AND managed to get on the flight - wouldn't you make a phone call home to day "I've been such a dick, I forgot my passport".

He's shagging someone else.

neversaydie · 21/09/2009 12:07

Hang on a minute. I have two passports because I travel a lot for work, and if you need to get a visa you are otherwise grounded until the visa comes through. My secretary organised the second passport, and all subsequent renewals. DH has no need to be involved in the process. I think he knows about it, but wouldn't swear he would remember if stressed. I don't travel as predictably as the OP, but I have colleagues who do.

If she has other reasons to worry then fair enough, but don't talk her into a panic just because of this. Just ask him!

skihorse · 21/09/2009 12:10

neversaydie I do agree that some people have more than 1 passport. But is that something you keep secret from your partner? I've got ID for three countries, but it's not a "secret" I keep from my partner - and in light of OP saying she expected him to ask where his passport was it suggest (to me at least!) that he would usually do so for example when travelling for business or going on a family holiday...

clam · 21/09/2009 12:20

So, how can she find out if he has a 2nd one then? You say she trusts him and presumably doesn't want to quiz him. So how else does she find out? And how common is it? I guess it depends on his job. If frequent travel has always been part of his routine, then I guess it's possible. If it's a new thing, then........ is more likely he's Up To No Good.

hunlet · 21/09/2009 12:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gingersquidge · 21/09/2009 12:34

she needs to call him and see if his phone does an abroad ring. that will tell her.

hunlet · 21/09/2009 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo · 21/09/2009 12:49

Maybe lisbey doesn't want to find out.

Some woman don't want to acknowledge thier husbands wanderings, and that's totally their perogative.

GypsyMoth · 21/09/2009 12:59

a prison you attend for 2 days a week,and be at home for the rest of the week??

she needs to catch him out...

annh · 21/09/2009 13:13

I still don't understand why the wife does not know where in Europe her dh is or in what hotel or what the job is that he is involved in? I think all the talk of secret agents and spies is fanciful - yes, I'm sure it happens but I think most of us would find it difficult to believe that our DHs, whose offices we have been in, whose PAs we know and whose colleagues we have socialised with or met around town, are actually spies! The simple explanation (i.e. that he is having an affair) is usually the right one.

neversaydie · 21/09/2009 13:59

Not necessarily a secret though - that was my whole point - it may just never have come up in conversation. I don't necessarily discuss the logistics of my work travel with my husband for every trip - there are usually far more interesting things to talk about! Don't underestimate just how bloody tedious frequent business travel can be.

However, I do tell my husband where I am going and usually where I will be staying when I get there(although I don't always know hotel details in advance). Also, it is always possible that details of travel plans will be amended once I get to the country involved. (I am just back from 10 days away in the US and had one change of hotel and one different flight, both arranged very much at the last minute.)

But rather than theorising and worrying over it, if she asks him about it she will either get an answer that reassures her (and her husband will take note and communicate a bit more fully in future) or she will know for sure that she has something to worry about and can get on and deal with it. At the moment, she could be worrying about something which really isn't an issue, and poison the relationship as a consequence.

RatherBe · 21/09/2009 14:16

If a passport has been replaced then the old one is returned with a corner of the cover snipped off so you should be able to tell if one has been cancelled or not.

It's possible to fly to other European countries using a driving licence as ID (dh has done it), but I think I am right in saying it depends on the airline. Some will insist on a passport and others will allow other forms of photo ID. But a passport is usually easier because there's no argument about whether they are acceptable and as someone said, hotels often ask for passport details.

clam · 21/09/2009 14:30

OK, so which is more likely? The DH being a secret agent, having a secret passport that he's 'forgotten' to mention or that he's up to something dodgy.

If the statistics re: affairs are anything to go by, I think it's fairly obvious. Sorry.

But it's not that easy to "just ask." Imagine the scene. You said you were abroad. I've got your passport here. Therefore you must be having an affair. How do you come back from that? Especially if he's innocent.

tryingherbest · 21/09/2009 14:33

He may have multiple passports if he generally travels lots - its because lots of countries still stamp passports and they fill up quickly also you can be applying for a visa and take your other passport in the meantime.

UnquietDad · 21/09/2009 14:36

On the other hand, if he's having an affair then surely he has learnt all about covering his tracks. Which means he must be spectacularly thick to claim he has gone on a business trip to Europe and leave his passport at home!

LynetteScavo · 21/09/2009 14:45

Taht's what I thought, UnquietDad...but then I thought, well, he's a bloke....but if you agree, then I reckon it must be innocent.

clam · 21/09/2009 14:47

We need the OP to come back and tell us what line of work this friend's DH is in.

Their communication seems a little slack to me though. There is no way that I wouldn't know if my DH had more than one passport. But then, yesterday I found out after 15 years together that he doesn't like hamburgers. .

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