Are you ACTIVELY, gorgeously IN LOVE with your DP?

[runawayquickly]

I'm asking the question because I can't work out if I am not in love with DP or if the routine, kids, money worries, work hassles etc have got in the way or if there's genuinely just nothing left. We act like business partners.
I look around and though not as bad as we are, I don't see many friends/contemporaries who are affectionate and loving in a spontaneous way. Am I just unlucky and seeing everything through poo smeared glasses?
What d you think... does he bring loads of joy to your life after 10 years + ?

Married 10 years last April
My answer is NO
Going away to celebrate our 10th year
Made me realise what was missing

i have relationship bi-polar

there is no 'i'm bored' or just putting up with things.

when things are good or coasting along i love him to bits - BITS

but when things fuck up

he fucks them up - always

and so it goes.

Together for 16yrs, married for 14, and couldn´t imagine being without him.
Still miss him when he works away, & still look forward to him coming home in the evening.

DH and I have been together 7 years, married for 5 and have DD1 3.7, DD2 21 m/o, and DD3 due in 4 weeks. We still are both baffled by how we came to be so lucky to have found each other and how right our relationship/family is.

That's not to say we haven't struggled - DH has had to deal with my epilepsy, severe PND-OCD after DDs 1&2 and a horrific first pg whereas I've had it easy as no problems from him! - but we have always had each other to lean on.

I still think he's out of my league as he is soo intelligent and just plain lovely and I'm thick as too short planks and a pain in the arse . He works hard to make sure I don't have to go to work and so I can spend my time at home with the girls. I'm beginning to wonder what he gets out of this .

I really cannot see how we could end up splitting up but accept that you can never foretell the future. I hope I feel this much love for him for as long as we live [need vom emoticon].

Yes, and feel very lucky. I get very happy when I hear him coming in, still think he's very beautiful, and just love being around him. We've had some awful things to get through, which have made us stronger. Been together 10 years, married 5. I don't feel smug, but incredibly lucky.

god no
how odd

Hmmm.... the awful things we've been through didn't strengthen us TBH. Probably at first it did but after a while it just got us tired and resentful of each other. When you get hit by the first big wave you can cling on to each other but wave after wave seems to drag you apart.

Been with my dh 15 years (married 12) and love him more than ever. We still fancy each other rotten and just fit together so well. We've been through a heck of a lot together and just got stronger. I can't imagine life without him, and love him with everything in me. sorry!

I just want to add that I wouldn't say I am 'actively gorgeously in love'.

But I am very happy in a good relationship, which is a great relief in many ways.

hiya, this is a really interesting thread. i have been with my fiancee 2 years 5 months and we have a 4 month old DD and a 3 year old boy from my previous relationship. i am totally in love with him and fancy him like mad, and like others have said, we "fit" so well and the sex is absolutely amazing. but i was with my ex 8 years and that love, lust and excitement died off after about 2 years or so yet the relationship limped on for another 6. so i do get scared that one of us wil "go off" the other, or the "magic" will die.

Interesting thread.
Been together 13 years, married for 7.
I love him
He is a good shag.

Actively , georgously in love. Probably not.
xxx

Very much so, but it's been four years, not ten+, so perhaps feelings deepen or mellow or something? Interested to hear what people think, so will scroll back and read others' replies now.

This week I am

bof - 23yrs at the coal face here. And I would have said I was 'in love' until about 10yrs ago.

I've been with DW for 16 years, married for 5 years (met when we were 15 years old). She is pregnant with our first child.

We're deeply in love, share all our feelings and everything else with one another, have the same sense of humour and always laughing together.

We spend most of our spare time cuddling and kissing and have great sex (although not for the last 8 weeks - I hope the second trimester brings the libido back!!)

I often feel so lucky to have what we have and always try not to take her for granted. We went through a funny patch around a year or two ago, but worked through it and came through it stronger than ever before.

It's nice to see a topic like this on this forum for a change!

I absolutely adore my wife and fancy the pants off her!

He irritates me at times but I do love him to bits.I had to go to dodgy music shop today and buy a guitar strap with chillis on it for his b'day sunday BAD TASTE ROCK N ROLL I wouldn't do that for just anyone!

aristocat - yes it is allowed and 25 years together and 20 years married this week I feel the same. I still really adore DW the way she looks and her mind which is just damnably fanciable.

However, ten years into our marriage it was a very different story for all the reasons that runawayquickly listed. We did keep trying for each other though and that is key. In my view, once peope stop trying for each other it kills any relationship because it shows you do not care anymore.

We make time for love by going on a date each week without DSs, turn off our phones and often discuss our hopes and dreams for the future. They may not be dreams we can possibl fulfill right now but it means we are like ships in a convoy together going in the same direction not ships passing in the night.

We do lots of spontaneous kissing and cuddling too throughout the day.

Completely and utterly
married nearly 10 years and completely in love through horrid times and good times

he was killed in a car crash last month

Oh Trinity
I have always noticed how fondly and affectionately you speak of your DH.
Take care x

Ah trinity

I'm sorry
I shouldn't have posted

@ Trinity

I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through... My heart goes out to you xxxx

The love I have for my husband is enormous and powerful, but it's not that stomach flipping, sexually-charged thing you feel at the start of a relationship. It comes from going through all kinds of ups and downs, having children together, building a home/family/life and becoming each other's right arm, really. I swell up with pride and love when I think of him. He is an amazing man.

Post away love- we know how much you loved him.

of course you can post you always talk of him so lovingly.