thought of sex makes my skin crawl - any infallible tips for getting 'in the mood'?

[somethinganything]

Have to shake myself out of this because DH is going to get really pissed off with it. I'm 16 weeks pregnant with DC2 and really, really don't fancy sex although to be honest it's felt like a chore for ages. Feel so guilty writing this and awful about my poor DH - the last time we had sex was 3 weeks ago. Generally manage once a week, which isn't ideal in itself but at the moment my output is quite pathetic.

Can you suggest anything I can do to help me feel more inclined towards it? It's beginning to really upset me and I can feel it coming between DH and me.

alypaly - I see my counsellor for an hour slot...and I do know what you mean about the clock, but they have to set a limit, which also spurs you on to talk. If you had all day I don't know if it would help any more. The woman I see, does talk to me, and she sort of does give advice. And I ask her questions and she answers them honestly. I know it is helping me. I am also aware it's a sort of professional relationship, so I need to use the sessions to help me. She won't be able to do anything without me first bringing stuff up for her to think about. Talking about disturbing dreams for instance has been extremely helpful.

I definitely have this excessive keennes to please syndrome from having distant parents, and you can really become unstuck as a perfectionist parent because it's totally impossible! The thing the counsellors have helped the most out is with recognising and managing my anxiety. Just realising that I am getting really anxious is enough to make me tone it down and stop and take stock.

Really interesting to hear both your perspectives on counselling. I'd really like to think I could make it work for me because I have in mind what I want to resolve and I'm willing to open up (rather than needing to be coaxed) but I can imagine the time pressure thing and set pattern might be restricting and as I said I could def imagine being put off by feeling I'm being expected to say something in particular. But worth a try I guess. Now just have to pluck up the courage to book an appt with GP and talk to DH about it.

8oreighty so familiar hearing you talk about being a perfectionist parent, I can see at times that I'm tying myself in knots through trying to be all things to all people. Very inspiring that it's had such a positive impact on you.

sorry, I should clarify - the counselling, not the perfectionism having a good effect!!

somethinganything ,i was the same.i was trying to be a perfectionist parent with DS1 ,my partner ,the home,my cooking,sport , everything and it finally took its toll. MY consultant gave me a really good piece of advice and that was

to try and achieve,as far below 100% as i tried to achieve above and then call that perfection.. in the end it worked and it took alot of pressure off me

Wow - that's v interesting. And also quite hard to quantify! But I'll give it a shot. Thanks, alypaly

BTW - I'm thinking of asking for this thread to be deleted, not that I really think anyone will recognise me on it just that it feels so personal and I'm not sure I like the idea of it just staying on a public forum forever. Perhaps that's a bit weird? but anyway.

Thanks v much for all your advice etc alypaly, and also 8oreighty if your still out there plus any others who've contributed