How can I tell DP I am offended by his poor personal hygeine without hurting his feelings?

[iwouldgoouttonight]

I feel awful writing this but I really want to let him know how I feel, but I know if he told me something he didn't like about me I'd probably be upset.

We both cycle to work - I shower and change my clothes when I get there and shower and change again when I get home. He wears the same clothes that he cycled in all day and doesn't even have a quick wash. By the evening the smell is quite offensive! He was holding DD and when he put her down and left the room I could still smell his BO on her!

I don't seem to be able to get the smell out of the armpits of some of his shirts, despite washing twice at 60 degrees, so even when he puts them on in the morning he smells straightaway.

I have tried to gently suggest he deserves a treat because he works hard, and why doesn't he treat himself to some new clothes, but he just said he's not bothered about clothes. The other day I said why don't I get the kids ready for bed while you have a shower, but he just said oh no, I'll have one later, and then forgot all about it!

I think he's either not getting the hint or he's just not bothered about it. I dread to think what his work colleagues must think having to sit next to him all day. Its really putting my off having sex with him and I want him to know that I still really fancy him, etc but would just love him to smell clean. He's quite sensitive so if I just blurt it out I think he'll be quite upset.

sounds silly, but try small dose of vinegar with washing( laundry) , bath ( for him, nd if you can get him to, small swig daily.

i just tell my hubby when he come in from work he comes to give me a cuddle and i say phew you utterly stink honey go have a shower....he just laughes but he tells me too if i smell bad, like my feet when outta my trainers, we have such a good honest relationship we dont hurt each others feelings though as we both know its not malicious.

or another one he if he hints at an early night i say no way unless you shower smell georgeous and brush those teeth...after a few years he knows the score alright

he might have problems with his health, thats the reason for bad smell. you should definetly talk to him and be very supportive.

I would echo those who advise just telling him. He'll probably be mortified but it sounds as if it's a problem that can easily be resolved, and not some long-term condition (some people do just smell, apparently, despite their best efforts, but I guess you wouldn't be together if that were the case, unless you had a bad cold when you first got together). Could be bad for his job if he's the smelly one at work. What's worse? Him being upset with you for telling him or thinking of his colleagues making nasty comments behind his back? You have to tell him straight up...SOON.

Well, I don't have the famous English reserve, nor am I kind, so I'd just shove him in the shower, no discussion. And screech at him if he dared ever be pongy in my presence again (unless en route to the shower that instant).

Tis a no-brainer to me.

Worked with a guy who went to the gym at lunch and didn't shower after. Thought he was a mingin' inconsiderate bastard.

These posts about men that don't wash for days or weeks are making me feel really ill.
My dh is really particular about his appearance and always smells absolutely gorgeous. If he was pongy i would tell him.
I cannot abide foul smells.

well bully for you

My DH knowns a bath or shower is an essential element of foreplay.

DH - who is also a bit (!!) on the pongy side at times - likes Mitchum deodorant because you can apply it once in 48 hours then forget about it. He did not use deodorant at all when we got married. I basically bought some for me, bought some for him, and told him that since I'd spent money on it now he'd better make use of it.

Truly, I sympathise. DH is an avid runner and I sometimes despair of ever getting his beloved running t-shirts pong-free. MIL somehow managed it for years apparently but I'm not asking her for advice.

I agree with pps that you have a duty to tell him. It will just breed resentment (and some potentially scary armpit bacteria!) if you don't.

if you cant tell your dh that he smells then you are being unfair to him

soon his work mates will start teasin him and that will be much worse

obv no one likes to think that they smell

bo is stale sweat and unless washed off it will smell

i had to tell a girl at our gym the other month she smelt - we all do a work out class and the smell of her made the room stink as she came in, let alone as she exercised - she was near me and i nearly gagged - no one wanted to tell her, so i did

im rather blunt but i was polite and she thanked me for it

i would like to think that if i had a problem of bo (and tbh often you cant smell yourself) that either my best friend or dh would have the curtsey of telling me

if need be throw away his clothes or leave a red sock in the whites wash

i wouldnt let my gh get into bed with me if he hadnt showered/washed etc - and i would say, in a jokey manner, go and shower

or as someone suggested have a bath together and wash his nooks and crannies

you are very lucky to be able to shower at work after your cycle in - not many offices etc have showers

My DH goes running and when he comes back he stinks like a pole cat and he now knows it as we all go on about it so much. For goodness sake tell him to get in the damn shower and sort himself out, he must be able to smell it himself.