friendships

[p1umpudding]

I'm probably being over sensitive, but think I need reassurance.

I got really close to a group of friends lately - all new mums together. Everything was going well, then they started to meet up without me, go out for dinner without me, share jokes on Facebook and post pictures of them all out together.

I've been completely dropped by the whole group and I've no idea why. I get on quite well with one of the girls who lives close by, but all she does is talk about everyone else and what they're up to. I did ask why I wasn't invited to dinner and she said that as she didn't arrange the meal, it wasn't up to her to invite me.

I feel jealous, upset and I don't know what to do. I've started to make other friends and want to move on, but I bump into them and well, they're really too busy to talk.

Anyone else had to deal with the same situation?

I don't think you're being over-sensitive at all - it's a pretty lame excuse to say she didn't organise the dinner so it wasn't up to her to invite you.

Sounds to me like you just got in with the wrong group, maybe the kind of people who sussed out what was in it for them (this happened to my ante-natal group, the working mums kind of formed a clique apart from everyone else and someone told me later it was all to do with the fact they were planning to use the same nursery and basically had a handy little drop off routine going. The group survived quite happily without them, but there were some hurt feelings I think ).

Honestly, I would just move on. They sound pretty insecure. I know it's a shame when you obviously felt you had stuff in common, but I just wouldn't want to get involved in that kind of group. Hope it all works out for you.

were they already a group of riends before you got friendly with them?
Sometimes it is diffcult to 'break' into an already esstablished group.

Some friends stay with you for years, others drift in and out of your life and others are just friends for a while and eventually drop off the radar.

If you're making other new friends, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Get yourself out and about and after a bit of time, you won't even think about them. When you find better friends, you will look back and realise that this little group weren't really for you in the first place.

And when you bump into them, you can be too busy to talk too.