Experiences of Social Services in Domestic Violence Cases

[Kazzi79]

I'm interested in hearing how people have been treated by social services in domestic violence cases witnessed by children.

Did they treat you fairly with compassion and understanding or did they hold you to blame for your children witnessing domestic violence?

All views welcome

As a divorce lawyer I do occasionally find that SS get involved, sometimes quite negatively in that if they are concerned that the children are in danger of emotional harm they may make an application within Children Act proceedings for a S37 report, possibly with a view to the children being taken into care.

Having said that, they will usually try to help if the woman has to flee the matrimonial home by backing up her application for emergency housing (tho' an occupation order under the Family Law Act is generally more appropriate.)

My experience of dealing with social services as a fellow professional for over 20 years is that they are generally well meaning but often ineffectual.

My friends children were put on the at risk register and she was forced to leave or the kids would be taken away. The violence was very severe though. She's fine without the prick now.

Hi girls thanks for your input, its my personal experiences that have prompted me to look into the involvement off SS in domestic violence cases and I'm quite shocked at some of the things I've discovered.

The police told me it was standard proceedure to inform SS if children had witnessed DV in ALL cases, this I don't have a problem with as I believe the safety of children is paramount, what I am shocked at (and this isnt the fault of social workers) is the lack of training social workers receive in respect of domestic violence. There are known cases of students on the 3 year social work degree qualifying having had only ONE lecture on domestic violence, yet when they are employed as a social worker DV accounts for around 70% of their workload. They simply don't have the necessary training to deal with DV cases IMO and its something with the help of a domestic violence organisation that I'm trying to highlight with the powers that be.

It would be interesting if anyone who works for social services has any views on this, the last thing I want to do is jump on the bandwagon created by the media that all social workers are useless as I've been told by a social worker this actually makes it harder for them to gain access to children that may be at risk. I want to hear it from all sides and try and get the powers that be to put in extra measures that will make a social workers job easier rather than harder.

I am totally in the dark regarding SS at the moment. My EXP assaulted me and my elderly grandmother 2 weeks ago infront of my DD (2 and a half years). Was taken to hospital as I am 35 weeks pg to new DP and took a blow to my abdomen. Was holding DD at time so she witnessed the lot. He also tried to get her off me by pulling her arm!!!

He is at present only allowed supervised access under court order pending final hearing and psychologist report.

The police and the hospital reported the incident to SS. I was apparently going to get a call from them and they were to interview me etc etc.

Heard nothing yet! Is this normal (2 weeks later?)

midwife chased it up last week but still nothing!

I just feel that I have had to fight tooth and nail to protect her with no help from any authorities, huge financial and emotional cost to me!!!

He has tried to take her and 2 weeks later am still fighting this without SS acknowledgment.

Am i right to presume we must be low priority??? Is 2 weeks no time at all??

Message withdrawn

Ryn, so sorry to hear about your situation, what a horrendous thing to have to go through when clearly you should be thinking of other things.

I had to have what is called a TAC meeting (Team Around Child), these meetings go by different names in different areas, this happened 3 weeks after the assault that led me to go to the police. I will be honest this meeting was horrendous (I've since found out it was conducted in the wrong way that doesnt meet SS guidelines), I'm strong willed but I came out of the meeting in tears feeling like a proper shit mum and I was angry I had to account for the actions of someone else!

It could be worth giving SS a call yourself, it might not be that your case isn't priority, it could just be that social workers are so bogged down with work they've not come across your case yet, don't mean this in a bad way but they could be dealing with cases of children they class as a higher risk (face it were the first ones to slate them when a case like Baby P happens).

I'd give them a call myself just to find where you stand with them then take it from there.

Please post back and let me know how you get on xx

Hi Miss Sunny,

This is the exact reason I want social workers to receive better training in dealing with domestic violence. They have very little understanding of it, tbh I don't think anyone has the proper understanding of DV until they look into it properly, as a survivor of DV I thought I knew everything about it but recently I've been having talks with a social worker who now works for a domestic violence agency and she's opened my eyes up to quite a lot that I didnt know.

Social workers think that a victim of DV should just leave and that will solve the problem. However when women leave a violent relationship the risk of violence increases, in 50% of cases where women leave an abusive partner the violence has got worse after they have left, children are also at a higher risk of being injured themselves as previously they could sit in their room out of the way but if victim and perpetrator have to meet up to hand the child over for contact theres a risk the child could get caught in the crossfire of any violence.
Sadly women feel as though it is safer to stay in an abusive relationship than leave.....and unfortunately they are usually right.

SS need to do more to hold the perpetrator accountable for his actions rather than blaming it on the mother for failing to protect her children, the mother isn't asking to be assaulted its not her fault its the perpetrators fault. When SS come across a case like this I feel it is their duty to put the woman and child in touch with people who can help her be safe and stay safe once she has left an abusive man.

SS were involved in my case, when residency and contact for my DD were going through the courts.
The judge ordered a section 37 report to be compiled.
The social worker said he didnt understand why he was doing a section 37, and tbh, the social worker seemed to have very little idea of how an emotionally abusive XP behaves.

SW just kept telling me he felt sorry for my XP, since he was a man who 'just loves his partner and his family and wanted to come home.'

This compounded my sense of guilt, which is a common feeling afaik within abusive relationships, for the abusive partner to regain some sort of control.

Sparklefrog, I was just about to say I'm shocked that a social worker would take that attitude, bit tbh I'm not shocked at all, to me it just highlights the ignorance lack of knowledge most social workers have in regards to domestic violence.

I also feel, rightly or wrongly, that my SW would have benefited from reading something about abusive relationships (in fact, I think alot of professionals would benefit from reading about abusive relationships, 'Lundy Bancroft' comes to mind.)

I also think it would be extremely helpful if parents were made aware that children living in the same household that DV is happening, are classed as victims of child abuse. I was not aware of this, but the judge, my barrister and my solicitor brought this to my attention.
I honestly didn't realise that if DV goes on, out of sight or hearing of the child, but in the same household that the child is present in, (this can also include emotional abuse or manipulation, as well as the many other forms of abuse, which mine was) that the children are classed as victims of child abuse.

Hi Kazzi79,

Very vaild and important points. I have worked in child protection and the Police do notify social services of all domestic violence incidents (where children are present). How seriously it is taken is down to threshold limits for each particular region or borough.
Not sure where your stats are from, certainly was not my experience that 70% of caseloads were domestic violence related.

I think it is quite a hidden problem and it's very difficult to understand fully (both professionals and society in general). People tend to see it in very simplistic terms. People forget about the pyschological and emotional abuse that is tied in with the physical abuse. Same old story, lack of resources and lack of priorty. From my limited experience the support that is available is fantastic and very important for women who have experienced domestic violence.

Sorry to hear about your experience.

You should complain if the meeting was not handled in the correct way.

It's often a difficult position for ss to be in, perpetrator often not involved, mother or victim/survivor is, so I guess she becomes a bit of an easy target. People really need to understand how domestic violence affects children, and support services need to be bolstered to enable women to leave such situations.

I just find the whole training system for social workers shocking, one lecture on domestic violence on a 3 year degree programme in no way equips social workers with the necessary knowledge to work in domestic violence cases.

IMO the degree programme should be extended to 4 years to allow for a lengthy placement with a DV organisation, I understand people would argue that its not practicle to extend the degree programme but to me it makes sense when DV cases take up such a high proportion of a SW's workload. If social workers had the necessary understanding to deal with such cases they could then be more sympathetic to the situation and help the victim and her children (fair enough its not the social workers responsibility to give the same amount of help an organisation such as womens aid would do, nor would it be reasonable to expect them to do so) but it could do no harm to put the woman in touch with such organisations and work together with womens aid for the sake of the childs wellbeing.

Hi Dannigirl, the 70% statistic was given to me by a friend of mine who works in social services, maybe its not the same for all areas but nonetheless DV still accounts for a good proportion of a SW's workload which I feel they are unable to deal with due to lack of knowledge IMO.

Totally agree Dittany, what scares me is that when I told a friend of my experiences with SS she said that if she ever found herself in that situation she would suffer in silence rather than have to go through everything I did with the authorities.

This is the very reason social services need to rethink their priorities.

Dannigirl, I did put in a complaint, it was the whole attitude of social services that has prompted me to look into this in greater detail.

The feedback I'm getting on here is very helpful, I needed to hear other peoples experiences to make sure it wasn't just me that felt hard done by.

i mean ss need to rethink their attitude not priorities

I think to be fair on social workers they often do put women in touch with organisations such as women's aid and women's refuge services. These services are over burdened, and just because a referral is made does not mean a woman can get to a place of safety!

I agree that more emphasis has to be on the perpetrator, which is not just down to SS. It is down the the police, the courts, probation services, support services and that little thing called personal responsibility.

The problem is that child protection services are not focused on support anymore. It is purely reactive, rather than proactive. Social workers are simply too overloaded to give this type of intensive family support on a long term basis.

I also agree that women don't report for fear of repercussions which is obviously not ideal.

"a man who 'just loves his partner and his family and wanted to come home.'"

yes my ex is one of those...has persuaded all involved.

is till coming out with cr&p about "our love" more than a year after i fled with dcs...there is no more "our" but he doesnt get it.

he has become the victim - poor man who got left all alone in the joint- owned flat (he refused to leave it) - while i ran off to live in a nice rented flat with the dcs... just so unfair isnt it?

he doesnt even cover the full costs in the flat he is in - but financial issues are a whole other story...

and yes he got more violent after i left...

my social worker has been brilliant - was already involved due to ds's disability...but CAFCASS seem more swayed by his victim mentality. or rather by fact there is view that court see seeing father as paramount whatever has gone before eg witnesing violence, hearing the verbal abuse..

I'm gonna direct a question at you Dannigirl if thats ok just because you've worked in child protection, do you feel that extending the social worker degree to allow for work to be done on domestic violence would be of benefit or do you think the training they already receive is sufficient?

I have a document somewhere which I will post on here when I find it, its a public document so is freely available for all to read but it highlights the things I've said, it was actually put together by a domestic violence organisation and it focuses on social workers involvement in such cases.

Got to say my personal experience of the police, solicitors, courts and most of all womens aid was fantastic, it was only social services I felt let down by

I've got to go but please keep posting, the more feedback I get from people the better, all views are welcome xx

I am not sure about the degree qualification here as I trained overseas. I did complete a four year degree (three year degree and one year post graduate year). I am CERTAIN that it would be a positive thing to include an indepth module on domestic violence. One lecture does not seem enough, however I guess you have to remember that they are studying different social work theories which would certainly cover domestic violence issues.

Also, I think there could definitely be better links between community organisations and local authorities. Maybe a lead social worker named within an agency who links up with community agencies and can also be a in-house 'expert' on domestic violence, signposter for services.

Research is forever moving and progressing. It is difficult to keep up if you don't dedicate your life to it, and let's face who wants to read aboout all sorts of abuse at home when you work with it all day!

The difficulty working as a social worker is that you cover a very broad spectrum of issues such as alcohol and drug misuse, neglect, emotional abuse within families and relationships, physical abuse of children, sexual abuse, domestic violence, parenting issues, educational issues....you have to become almost an expert on all these fields i.e how they impact on children. The focus is almost always on children, however, any social worker worth their salt of course knows that dealing with a family holistically is often more positive for the child.

You obviously feel very passionately about this topic Kazzi. It's awful that you have had such an awful experience of social services.

When I was with ex he was violent on a number of occasions. I called the police twice and on the second visit they said if I called them again they would contact SS. I never called them again.

We are not together anymore and tbh it was never really a case of sustained violence but rows that got out of hand but I do think about those women who are in that situation and unable to call for help because they are too scared of SS involvement.

Personally I think that social workers should choose a specialisation at the beginning of training in the way that nurses do be trained and then be employed in that area.

I used to work for ss, but as a family support worker, and did deal with some DV cases. Of those I work on, the parents were given choice of work it out, or if really bad, mum (never had a dad) was told to leave or risk losing children. Tough but children are ss first worry, parents come second.

held me to blame.
I was told that i was abusing my children by allowing their father to break into the house and beat and rape me.

apparenlty it was my fault that i called the police in an attempt to get rid of him and that i was not douing my best to prevent them from witnessing violence.

I was told that if they were called again my children would be removed and put in care.
I never called the police again. when he was hitting me i wouldn't make a sound for fear of my neighbours calling the police.

the social worker that visited me put my children in more danger because they made me terrified to get help. instead i just took whatever he gave because it was better than losin my children.