How can I exact revenge on the woman who destroyed my marriage

[ballbaby]

Sorry if I sound like a psycho bitch but i found out on Wednesday morning that h has been seeing someone and he was gone by wednesday night leaving me and 6yo and 3yo. I've been with him for nearly 20 years(I'm 36 so I've not had any other serious relationship). The anger I've woken up with this morning is a change from the crying I've been doing for the last 48 hours

I'm not asking for support as I'm getting plenty from h family, my family and friends. I'm starting a phase of thinking he was a completely selfish b***d all through our marriage and he might have done me a favour actually. I could really do with a laugh though so the more off the wall your suggestions the better

Unfortunately i only know her first name and don't think h will tell me any more so carrying out any of these might be quite difficult. But I'll enjoy considering them.

I agree, in the early days, I would think of him sat with her in her flat and feel angry and upset, then I would imagine him sat with me, picking his arse, paying me no attention, and bugging me with his endless hours playing on the x box, and then I would realise I dont want that at all, the thought made my skin crawl, and I learned to love my own company and almost pity the OW.

This happened to my sister, a farmer's wife.

The ow moved into the farmhouse with sis's xh and one day sis had to visit for something-or-other. No-one was at home and there were boxes of apples prepared for storage. Sis carefully and systematically hid one rotten apple deep in each box. She then had all winter to chuckle and imagine the rot spreading through all of the apples.

I thought that was marvellous, subtle and symbolic.

I'm not sure about Anita's following your ex round the pub with all your mates method. That looks very much like you are arranging your night out around him and still aren't over him. OK for 1 night out soon after he'd left , but done regularly makes you look as though you're still a bit obsessed with him. If a bloke did that to his ex girlfriend I would see it as creepily stalkerish behaviour and wouldn't want a relationship with him. Alot of these revenge things can end up making the revenger look pitiable and bitter.
The aplle thing sounds OK if wasteful. Stupid of them to leave the door open though, she could have been a thief and cleared them out.
I'd favour the living well and having as little to do with him as possible. Usually if 1 partner leaves the relationship wasn't that great anyway and you're well rid.

Here's a wee poem to gladden your vengeful heart:

If you love something

set it free

If it comes back

it is yours

If it doesn't

hunt it down and kill it.

Please note that I am not advocating this as a course of action, I just think it's a nice twist on an old story. Hope you're feeling a bit better today.

You say you 'hadn't been a couple' for 8 months before this happened. Doesn't that mean that your XH was technically single and therefore entitled to form a new relationship if he wanted to?
Sorry if I have misinterpreted what you posted but if you have split up with someone it's not your business to say when or who they can date, nor should you be playing the betrayed victim card.

ballbaby, I've been in your position.

The best form of revenge is a life well led.

Basically fck 'em, if the only way she can get a fella is to steal someone else's husband she deserves what she gets...i.e. him! Rise above it, although it is a kick in the stomach especially when they start playing happy families (mine got his bint pregnant within months - she who couldn't have children isn't that a shame.) But you have to rise above it. Start living your life for you* and your dcs and leave him to her.

You may want to punch her teeth out and kick him in the genitals (or was that just me) but, as my granny used to say, don't get down in the dirt with the pigs - you'll just get dirty too and they like that. It can tear you up inside, I know that, I've had that, sometimes now it catches up with me. But my revenge is that I live my life with my dts, have friends and hobbies and absolutely no place for that lying piece of sh*t, she is welcome to him. You will get there, but it takes time, plenty of tears and do allow yourself to feel angry.

SGB - I think she said that 8 months ago (when he started things with the OW) he did that typical (male?) twatty affair thing of staying in the marital home but emotionally and physically distancing himself from his wife, rather than having the balls to speak up and try to sort things out.

From experience, it's what they do when they have internally made the decision to shag someone else so treat you like crap, meaning you turn into a miserable cow who withdraws from the constant avoidance and physical / emotional knock backs and coldness. Then they get to internally justify their shitty affair by telling themselves that your relationship had broken down anyway... even though they caused that, too. It's the hardest thing to forgive.

totally agree with the others.

As hard as it is now force yourself to say "I'm so relieved, you have been a poor husband for such a long time" then serve him with divorce papers....

You'll get over this, and the only thing you'll regret will be weeping openly over him, asking him to come back... THAT will kill you when you think back on it. Make sure you don't have to think back on that.

Yes, concentrate on the fact that he could be such a twunt to the woman who gave birth to his children - and for months too, spineless git.

You know what he is capable of - she doesn't. You also probably know all his rubbish habits (picking his feet / nose / bits in the living room, inability to locate and use a washing machine), which I'm sure he has glossed over so far with her. But soon she'll be finding all that out and you can give her the 'told you so' look of absolute pity.