Something wrong or general dopeyness?

[CarrieBlack]

I'm starting to feel really bitter about my partner. He is lovely to me, treats me well, is a good dad but sometimes he can be so brainless it really annoys me.

He is constantly forgetting things. For instance, a convo we had the other day ...

dp - "shall I get some chips for tonight's tea?"
me - "thought we were having curry and rice?"
dp - "what?"
me "I thought we were having curry and rrice ... ?"

He looks at me with a blank expression ...

me - "YOU SAID EARLIER, THAT YOU WERE MAKING CCURRY AND RICE FOR TEA"
dp - "Oh yes, I forgot"

10 minutes later ...

dp - "well, we have chicken for tomorow's tea but what about tonight? what do you fancy?
me "We're having curry"
dp - "What?"
me "For christ's sake, will you listen to me, we're having CURRY for tea tonight"
dp "oh yes, I forgot ... you know, me and my brain ... "

but he does this kind of thing all the time.

The other night he stands there and suddenly shouts "oh shit! oh god, I'm in so much trouble!"
I said "why?" and he said he'd brought home the keys to the bank he works in wich is obviously very, very bad.

I said to him "well, you better ring your boss then!"

He told me he had, but he didn't.

So next morning, he's sat there, his boss turns up at the door and has a right go at him on the doorstep. DP comes in 10 minutes later and says to me "well, that wasn't too bad ... I just need to make sure I take the keys back now, I'll set off in a minute".

A few minutes later, he starts making a cup of coffee.

I said "what time are you setting off??" and he looks at me with a blank expression and says "setting off where?"

so I said "TO TAKE THE KEYS BACK!!"

He jumps up off the settee "oh shit! good job you said that, I'd forgot all about it!"

His boss had just had a massive go at him in front of all the neighbours on the doorstep and 10 minutes later he's "forgot"???

Apart from that he breaks stuff constantly, he's clumsy with everything, he sits talking on the phone at gone 3pm when he's supposed to have picked the kids up from school at 3pm....

I just can't stand this dopeyness. It REALLY bugs me. Is it genuine do you think or does he need a kick up the arse??

Actually, I have a forgetful dopey one too. Drives me insane. It's got worse as he has had work problems and is mildy depressed, he's frankly orbital a lot of the time. But a good mana nd he'll back with us soon, when we get through this.

He is forgetting big things really - about the keys etc. Is he ok otherwise? Has he always been like this?

aww bless, bet you this dopeyness is what attracted you in first place

How long has he been like this?

Is it definitely not a health issue of any kind?

my bloke does this too to some degree.

say we have to be somewhere at the weekends, he will repeatedly ask me the time we need to leave, what time we will be getting back.. blah blah until i am MAD with telling him over and over again. he knows he does it - he just doesn't listen properly.

it is annoying, i guess if anything i now try to make light of it rather than letting it get to me. i just refuse to tell him after a bit!

My DP is just the same. Just the other day we had what I thought was a very deep and meaningful conversation about personal stuff, and when it was over, he went to do stuff in another room. I thought of one last thing to say and followed him in to say it. Even though we had only just finished speaking, he looked at me blankly and genuinely had no idea what I was on about and when I said I was just adding to the conversation, he said he couldn't remember us talking!

I think cos little boys aren't generally brought up to show their feelings, they start to learn to blank things out, especially if it's someone telling them off (or they interpret stuff as a telling off) and as they grow, blanking stuff and ignoring just becomes their set response to anything people say to them. This habit is especially worse in men who are laid-back and easy-going, like my DP. When he drives me mad not listening to a word I say I remind myself that he's really sweet-natured as a result of being so dopey - and that I get to be The Boss, bwahaha!

If this is a new thing there may be some medical reason, if he has always been like this I suggest post-it notes and some therapy (for you!)