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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

No time for new man

7 replies

snowwhite99 · 13/06/2009 01:15

There's a new man in my life - definitely we want to build a relationship. He comes to see me after work M-F early evening then goes home.Sexually can only engage after 11 pm when my children are asleep, so he comes back then. I work full-time 9-5 and he works on call in day. How can we keep relationship going-he is very active sexually and sense he is beginning to get stressed with this. Even 10pm bedtime - know I need to get DD & DS into bed earlier- would not make it much easier. Is it same for anyone else? How do I cope with competing demands?

OP posts:

QuintessentialShadow · 13/06/2009 01:31

So, he comes to your house to get his dinner, then leaves and comes back for sex later?

bigted · 13/06/2009 01:38

how about he stays and helps put kids to bed/ tidy up kitchen after tea and stuff?

scottishmummy · 13/06/2009 01:52

relationship isn't accommodating your kids around new man wanting his hole

is both adults present and being involved,and him being there as responsible adult who might be hanging around nut just guy who fucks mum and shots off

is this what you want?a nocturnal fuck
or a responsible partner

OrangeFish · 13/06/2009 02:36

Agree with all that has been said so far, but may also add that unless you have teenagers, putting your children to bed way earlier than 11:00 would keep you sane if you are a single mum and, even if you weren't it would allow you some time with whomever you were with before you are far too tired.

poshsinglemum · 13/06/2009 08:06

Why dosn't he stay the night? He sounds like he just wants a bit of fun to me.

Original poster

snowwhite99 · 14/06/2009 02:06

Thanks guys have put the ball in his court. Nicely saying working on earlier bedtime. He has offered to help but I suggested just keep as friends b/c pressure on me to get them into bed on a deadline is very stressful, plus he won't feel comfortable waiting! This strategy should see where his loyalty lies?

OP posts:

howtotellmum · 14/06/2009 07:49

Can't you do "normal dating" - ie you get a babysitter and go out for the evening?

Or, he comes to you for dinner AFTER the kids are in bed? Or you go to his? How old are your DCs?

Sounds like you need some boundaries around your own life so that you get some time for yourself, rather than the kids dominating what you can do.

Seems like his needs are almost purely sexual.

Are you sure he is single and not just dropping in on your for sex?

Flip