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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Missing him

15 replies

KEL1983 · 05/06/2009 13:47

Hi Guys,

This is my first time posting here, I've spent the morning reading through various threads and I can safely say you are a decent, nice, non judgemental lot!

I just needed somewhere to vent really - its been Monday (Jun 1st) since we last spoke, I feel lost.......just want to talk to him, but he ended it with me (apperantly for my own good)....hmmmm.......doubt that very much!

Finding it really difficult - we used to text all day long, I feel like a massive part of my life is missing

Kel

OP posts:
FabulousBakerGirl · 05/06/2009 13:49

OMG another one having a similar experience to me and a few others.

Cry, eat chocolate and then dist yourself off and get out there. A man who can make you is not the man for you.

Everyone has their heart broken. It serves to show you the right decent man when he comes along.

Take care.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 05/06/2009 13:59

aww it's crap isn't it?
how long were you together for?

Original poster
KEL1983 · 05/06/2009 14:44

We were together for one year - but it was super intense (in a strange way)!

Yes it is rubbish - the crazy thing is he never made me only - but he says he isn't man enough and I deserve more than him! Not my choice, but I cant do anything. I have to appreciate his decision.

I ended it on a bad note! That what makes me feel sad!

Kel

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 05/06/2009 14:50

what exactly do you want to do here?
accept it's over and move on?
or somehow hope to get back together with him?

OrangeFish · 05/06/2009 14:51

Well, definitively he is not man enough... why do they use that stupid excuse of saying they are not good enough for you? did he say why?

The coward! if he tells you why, you are in a good position to sort the thing out or move on. If he comes with that rubbish that is for your own good he is going to leave you wondering for ages what on Earth happened and make it more difficult to you.

if he didn't give you any reason, can you talk to him?

OrangeFish · 05/06/2009 14:52

Missed the last post, sorry.

Original poster
KEL1983 · 05/06/2009 15:06

Well it was just the most awkward situation from the start - I had dated a guy (MS) for 5yrs from 14-19yrs - we broke up because he was a seriously bad egg (you know the sort ladies)........anyhow, new bf lives like 5 mins from ex (MS) and its just really awkward as they know one another.

A few weeks ago - new bf bumped into ex in the gym - ex told him that he has made a mess of his life and that his biggest mistake was messign things up with me and if if could go back he would do things differently and he has never been able to find another girl like me (7 yrs down the line)!

Its just awkward - we never came out in the open, me and current bf grew up togther - known one another for 24yrs! Only got together last yr (so all our families know one another) - so we have just kept everything undercover.

Finding it so hard at the moment.

I would love nothing more than to be with him again - but not how it was before (I cant keep secrets) - but my ex is so not to be trusted, he is a bad person and I would actually fear for mine and bf's safety if he found out. So its no win!

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 05/06/2009 15:08

thats terrible you can't allow this man to dictate how you live your life or who you choose to go out with

Original poster
KEL1983 · 05/06/2009 15:21

As I say though - he is one scary dude and as I say - I would fear for both of us if he found out! Bf said he only felt safe when we were locked away somewhere.

Im just shocked that he hasnt been in contact - 4 days, we've never been more than a few hours before! Its torture.

I have seen on fb that he is about - he seems fine - which makes it harder!

OP posts:
FabulousBakerGirl · 05/06/2009 17:10

completely confused

OrangeFish · 05/06/2009 18:55

HAve you kept your relationship with this guy a secret for a year? I think that even with the best intentions this should have been very very difficult for him.

Are you sure you are not over reacting about the other guy, because if you are not, you need to try to sort your fears and if after that, this guy is really a threat... well... try to get help from the police?

You can't live like that, but you can't either expect someone to live like that for you. It's simply not fair.

AnyFucker · 05/06/2009 18:58

i can't make head nor tail of this

FabulousBakerGirl · 05/06/2009 19:02

I take back my first post. This is nothing like what I have been through.

mrsboogie · 05/06/2009 19:07

So your ex is such a psycho that your latest bf is too scared to continue the relationship? that's why he says he 's not man enough? jeez. poor bloke.

Why don't you move away?

littlelamb · 05/06/2009 19:09

@ decent, nice, non judgemental lot

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