Not sure if this is relationship or MH tbh

[FabulousBakerGirl]

Feel really low today.

Stupid things can make me really low and I find it hard, if not impossible, to get them out of my head.

Feel like a bloody hamster going round and round on the same damn wheel. Get off it for a bit and then something happens and I am back on the same bloody thing.

Same here. Am annoyed today over my dad and brother, but I just feel like rubbish coscof this one thing. And I'm feeling sad that kids return to school tomorrow which is very unlike me!!

Something happened fbg?

Goodness, this is perhaps a common feeling. I get like this a lot and am sadly finding my only escape seems to be MN.

I was very like this yesterday.

Can you say what's happening FBG?

I saw something yesterday that reminded me of someone and now I can't get myself back on track. Sooooooooo bored with it all.

Not helping that I am shattered. All the DCs are being particulary challenging.

Just said to DH that when I feel like this I just need him near me but when I am like this he doesn't want to me near me. He said "perfect match." I said "hardly" but I don't know if he was trying to lighten the mood or misunderstood me.

Want a slap.

Feel the same, had the lowest of lows this w/e. Cant seem to pull myself out it either. Just realised my life is really shit.

That's the thing, forgetting the long term depression for a bit, I used to be happy and content with my life. Now I want more.

I dont want more I just want my life without all the complications and lies. Cant seem to break free from this pain and hurt. It really is make or break time for me, thought I was moving on but Im not. You always have such good advice for everyone else!. Do you want to say what upset you that you saw?

Sorry that you're feeling down, FabBG. Unload, if you feel like it.

Wanted also to say that you are one of my very favourite MNers, and that's not just because you solved my getting-mould-out-of-the-curtains dilemma.

Fab,
'wanting more' is not bad.

'being content' sometimes is 'hiding' especially when there is long term depression.

This was my experience anyway. I don't know if it makes sense to you.

I was always very bright at school but due to the home situation I didn't do as well as I should have done and I have never really had a career. I am currently a SAHM and happy about that but I feel I have achieved nothing other than becoming a really good cook and baker.

I feel like I haven't achieved my potential but all I wanted was to get married and have kids. I thought that would be easier than going out to work and tbh I think it is for me as I am not sure how I could manage in the RL.

I was happy with my life until it was turned upside down 6 months ago and now I worry I will always have a feeling of is this it? Am I greedy for wanting more? But, without my DH I would have nothing.

no you are not greedy.
long term depression drains your confidence-and energy- so you are 'hiding' and 'settle'. you choose what you think is easier and less hassle.
But the spark and spirit you had somewhere inside you suddenly wakes up and demand more.

I am not sure how to reconcile that with my situation tbh.

i m sorry i cant help as i dont know your situation or what happened 6 mnths ago.
sending you good vibes

oh and right now am making lemon cake so i ll sent you slice of this aswell

Thank you

Just had a tiny piece of sprinkle cake that DD wanted me to make. Was yummy.

Fab, you know the cake i was making in the afternoon? Well, i was mixing it while 2 dc in the kitchen and another one suspiciously quite in his room, phone constantly ringing etc, so i ve put the cake in the oven, 30 min later went in the kitchen and they were 2 eggs on the counter.

I said to dh 'oh are you making omelete?
dh: no
me: but you have taken 2 eggs out
dh: no i havn't. They were here.

Yes, i forgot to put them in the cake

I hope you ve been feeling better

Oops.

What did the cake taste like?

The one I made was so nice (damn) and I will definitely be making it again.

No idea what it tasted like because it went straight in the bin, i ve ...erm...messed it in other ways too (b.powder) .

Not everybody is fab at baking

I never used to be.

Practice and very willing victims eaters.