THE RED FLAG LIST - how does your DP/DH score?

[madameovary]

Apparently if you have a DP with one or more of these behaviours you should run for the hills.
I counted over twenty that applied to my ex...

Whoops link here

link?

x-post flamingo

22, my current DP. I'll go and get my trainers on then shall I?

Reading those made me feel ill, I had to stop halfway. I can think of exboyfriends who had traits like that but luckily I wasn't really in to any of them that much so breaking up wasn't upsetting in anyway. Thankfully DH is pretty much the opposite on almost every point.

Wonders what the benefit of this link is if you are happy in your relationship.

idle boredom at work in my case... thought it might be funny things like leaving pants on the floor etc.

I read one and it didn't sound funny so I gave up.

Some of them are VERY specific. Perhaps she just means don't date her ex?

That list is hardly from a trustworthy psychological expert though, is it ?

Just an angry blog

Shall we make our own with the wisdom of mumsnet?

I'll start:

1. Slags off his ex

1. Says you should lose weight/take more care of your appearance when he is himself either a gym fanatic or a slob.

Who else can think of any?

"Complains about your clothes - that they are too tight, too revealing, etc. when they are really not."

Nope, he generally likes it if my clothes are too tight/revealing

Got bored, sorry, can't read the whole thing. These are all very bad things, it's true.

Actually my ex had over 40 - an abusive twat.

Went out once with a horrible man once. On our first (and last) date he pulls out a picture of a cute little baby. "I don't see her much because she is probably a stupid bitch like her mother".

Byeeeeeeeeee.

the "hurts small animals or takes pleasure in hurting animals" would have me running for the hills. A classic sign of psychopathy, along with all the controlling issues, lack of empathy and cynical selfishness. Anyone who displayed many of those characteristics is a psychopath.

pramspotter

Definitely not a recommended chat-up line.

HOW ODD to have any of these?
yuk
none for mine

55 here.

May not be from a psychological expert but I have seen much of this list as indicators for being in an abusive relationship many times before. Quite a few of them on the WA website actually.

Thank goodness I read that i would never had guessed a man with these traits would fail to make the perfect partner.
No offence MO but really...

That's a really horrible article.

Thanks for that squatchette.
Obviously you have never been in an abusive relationship.

That is what I thought MO. People who have not been in it cannot understand how that list would resonate with someone who has.

"Thats a really horrible article"

Yes you are right it is but even more horrible is being involved in a relationship with a man who sucked you in by being as lovely as he could possibly be and then started displaying those types of behaviours after you were married, set up home together, had dc together, because that is when is usually starts.

It is horrible and it is true for many of us.

Interesting list. I thought that my DP showed signs of abusiveness but I can't find him on there - apart from the penny pinching! And general petty annoyingness, arsing about and over complicating things. But then, he is much better since I left him for a while.

On the other hand, the man I dated for 3 months a few years ago and totally fecked my head up even though I wasn't in love with him has practically all the things! It's so like him...

Anyone who thinks the list is sad/bitter/pointless, you lucky, lucky person. You obviously haven't met someone like this and have no idea how accurate the list actually is. Unfortunately, there really are people like that. JUST like that.