THE RED FLAG LIST - how does your DP/DH score?

[madameovary]

Apparently if you have a DP with one or more of these behaviours you should run for the hills.
I counted over twenty that applied to my ex...

Ex husband was like this. New man isn't ...

junglist, after I split from my ex I had some counselling (via my GP) and it was really very beneficial. One of the things the counsellor went over with me is that when you've been in an abusive relationship you tend to pick up some of their traits, at least at a low level. My ex was a great one for throwing the most damaging and hurtful accusations - I started trying to do that back, although I couldn't say anything nearly as hurtful as she could and all it would do was spur her on to get really offensive and wounding. So I gave up on that after a while as it was futile, but there were other traits that I picked up.

It's just one of the many, many ways that being in an abusive relationship is bad for you.

A few years down the line and I'm pretty much back to the old "me". Better, in many ways, as I'm a lot quicker to trust my instincts and a lot better at realising that abusive behaviour says everything about the abuser and nothing about me. Plus I can now spot the warning signs of an abusive alcoholic at fifty yards.

I hope you get some kind of resolution to your situation. Living with an abusive person can suck the very life out of anyone.