No sex - would you end it?

[SickOfTheMaleSpecies]

Partner is really irritating me. I have posted before about his apparant fear of sex.

(quick recap = 3 hours of foreplay before he runs off and locks himself in the bathroom to get out of sex).

I have slept at his house 5 times now, and there has been no sex and foreplay has only happened once (which turned into a shambles). His excuse was that he was "tired". No other reason.

The other night we got into bed, I tried to initiate a bit of "contact" and he put his arm around me, closed his eyes and said goodnight.

Next morning I told him there was obviously some problem with sex and would he tell me what it was. He said there was no problem, just that he was tired last night. I reminded him of the 3 hour foreplay episode and he said "yes but remember, it was 3am ... course I would have been tired by then" so I said "it didn't need to go on until 3am, YOU did that yourself ... " he tried to change the subject. I asked "is it religious?" and he just raised and eyebrow and laughed before saying "course not".

I said "are you worried about something?" he said "no, I just get tired sometimes" I said "is there ANYTHING you need to tell me?" and he said "no, honestly it's nothing ... I have just been tired the past few times".

I said "Do you not find it wierd that we have been together for all this time, slept in the same bed on many occasions and have still not had sex?"

He apologised and said he didn't realise it was so important to me I said "it isn't, I just find it wierd".

So ... last night, we had a glass of wine, watched a movie, went to bed around 11pm. We started kissing and cuddling, his hands stayed firmly on my waist ... I was recognising similarities to how the first "3 hour foreplay" thing started so I said to him "Not being funny, but I don't want a repeat of last time. Tell me now if you'd rather not take things any further tonight" so he said "well, we have plenty of time other nights, I'm a bit tired tonight ... "

FFS

But then, this morning he got up and asked how I'd feel about moving in with him. So its obviously not commitment related. No issues about sex before marriage ... no religious views ... he can get an erection ... perhaps he has problems with premature Ej .... but he's not telling me anything.

Getting a bit sick of it. Should I just give it up or am I being too eager for a shag??

LEN, you have obviously not read the other threads referred to

no-one is being pressurised, she has asked him several times to open up to her

they sleep in the same bed, he gets hard-ons, she takes the initiative, he closes up and runs away

the other night, they indulged in 3 hrs of "foreplay", then he disappeared to the bathroom, came back, said he was "tired" and went to sleep

he may have erectile dysfunction, he may have any number of issues, but this is ongoing and he refuses to talk about it

if you would like to make it a "gender" issue and wonder if a woman would be given the same short shrift then I say this...

if a female friend of mine had done all these things (3 hrs of foreplay, fgs, sleep in the same bed etc) then backed out at the last minute, then I would tell her she was out of order

But - if he was posting on here, and gave a reason for why he was sex-averse, people would be understanding.

But he's whistling and saying 'no no, I really like sex, just not right now. Or tomorrow. Or the next day. But yeah, absolutely, let's have sex ...'. Which is clearly bonkers.

I don't think he's evil, but he clearly has a problem, and hasn't a clue as to how to deal with it. The OP is meant to be dating him, not providing him with (unsupported, untrained) sex therapy.