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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DP turned on me today, feel really devestated

64 replies

Nothingatall · 09/05/2009 22:38

I have been with DP for around 6 months. He's always been great, we have lots of laughs together, always have a good time and have loads in common. I lack confidence and unfortunately suffer with a stutter, especially when I'm nervous but he's never mentioned it so neither have I.

I have noticed that he never wants me to meet his friends or family or go out around his home but I thought I was being paranoid.

Today we were in asda and I had said I would make him a bacon buttie when we got home. But in asda he bought a couple of packets of noodles. Whilst they were going through the till I began telling him I would cook up some of the noodles if he'd prefer but I couldn't quite get my words together and I stuttered quite badly. The cashier looked at me and DP snapped "Shh for gods sake" I asked what was wrong and he said "just shush, please" and I caught him glare at the cash assistant and he went red.

When we got outside I asked him what he had said that for and he told me it was embarrassing. Firstly that I'd offered to cook him noodles at the till and that I'd stuttered so badly and people were looking.

I was too upset and embarassed to say anything back and I just got in the car. He slammed the door and said "isn't there anything you can do about that? it's so fucking irritating, takes you forever to say one thing".

He then went on to say that it winds him up when I speak during a movie because what would take most people a few seconds, takes me ages and that I never know when to shut up and its irritating hearing the same word being repeated over and over again.

Is this why he has not introduced me to his friends and is he right to get wound up by something I have little control over?

OP posts:
FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 09/05/2009 22:40

Time to ditch him. He's an arsehole and not worthy of you. There's no relationship here if he has this attitude.

hereidrawtheline · 09/05/2009 22:40

oh that makes me so sad and angry. How horrible of him. You deserve better. It just makes me sad He should be proud of all of you. I am really sorry that happened. I know everyone is different but I have to say if that had happened with me and DH I think I would call it a day. I am rather vain though and would never be able to feel that way and get over it with him.

TheArmadillo · 09/05/2009 22:41

He sounds like a complete wanker.

It is his issue not yours.

What a cock.

solidgoldSneezeLikeApig · 09/05/2009 22:41

Dump him, he's a twat. Even if he's the world's best shag, he's not a nice person. Nice people wouldn't pick on you because you stutter.

HairyMuff · 09/05/2009 22:42

He's a knob, you sound far too nice for him.

poshsinglemum · 09/05/2009 22:42

He sounds like a bastard tbh. I would move on before he hurts you more. He knew that you had this at the start of the relationship so to bring it up after SIX MONTHS is out of order. He should accept you for you. hugs.

ninah · 09/05/2009 22:42

he's a shit, you are far too good for a man like that

SerendipitousHarlot · 09/05/2009 22:45

What a cunt Get rid. That's really pissed me off actually. He's not worthy of you.

idontlikethisperson · 09/05/2009 22:45

Nothingatall

Please change your name - you are not nothingatall, you are worth lots.

What an idiot and nasty little man.

I'm one zillions percent positive he's not the greatest catch in the world. You can do better than him. He is a bully. Don't take that crap..

I'm so sorry for you. Please dont waste too many tears or time on a bully.

xxxxxx

sleepymommy · 09/05/2009 22:47

The people at the till were probably looking at him, he sounds like a fuckwit. Please get rid of him, you sound lovely. You're worth so much more.

hereidrawtheline · 09/05/2009 22:47

idontlikethis - I was thinking the same thing about nothingatall's name and didnt say it. Good on you.

PortoPandemico · 09/05/2009 22:49

Ditto all the other posters. He is an arse to treat you like this, and you deserve much better!

Jux · 09/05/2009 22:53

OMG dump him. I can't believe you're wasting your time and energy - and LIFE - on a git like that. You need someone who cares about YOU, not some dick who finds it embarrassing or annoying to hear you speak. How on earth do you think you're going to communicate with each other? You deserve better.

Doozle · 09/05/2009 22:55

Oh my god, this is appalling. I can't believe he said those things.

Jux · 09/05/2009 22:56

6 months is too long to waste on this arse. Don't waste any more.

Slickbird · 09/05/2009 22:56

What an arsehole. Time for him to go honey, you deserve better.

And don't go thinking that if you don't have an arsehole like that, you won't find someone else because you lack confidence because of your stutter, YOU WILL. And I'm sure someone out there who would be proud to introduce you to their friends and family.

You sound like a lovely girl and I really wish you all the best.

ItsAllaBitNoisy · 09/05/2009 22:58

Karma is a bitch. I'd really love to see it when he gets his comeuppance for that terrible behaviour.

I agree the person on the till would have been disgusted.

TheCrackFox · 09/05/2009 22:59

Dump that arsehole now. How dare he?

Flibbertyjibbet · 09/05/2009 22:59

What an idiot. what a bully. Please don't stay with this person who seems to like to keep you hidden.

A very good friend of mine had a terrible stutter.

Then one day she met a wonderful man, she knew he was Mr right because - he never finished her sentences or tried to guess what words she was trying to say, he introduced her to everyone in such glowing language as his lovely girlfriend that she didn't feel nervous meeting those new people so she was less likely to stutter in front of them,

and,

when she once said that she might see whether there was any help she could get to help her stop stuttering,

he said ...

oh no please don't stop stuttering its one of the things I love about you.

There. Now dump that idiot you were with today and wait for the one who loves your stuttering.

MadBadandDangerousToKnow · 09/05/2009 23:01

He sounds mean and spiteful. He doesn't deserve your consideration.

If your stutter bothers you, then you could ask your GP to refer you for help. But only do that if it's what you want. A truly caring partner will accept you and value you for who you are.

AitchTwoOh · 09/05/2009 23:04

oh you poor thing, how utterly hurtful for you. and this came from nowhere? what a shame, you must be reeling.

i'd say this is very worrying, really. it's not how you behave to someone you deeply dislike, tbh, far less someone you love. watch out if you stay with him... six months into a relationship is a classic time for an emotional abuser to get started.

BrokenFlipFlop · 09/05/2009 23:10

What an idiot - he sounds really really nasty.

I'm so sorry, you must feel upset etc. Its his problem though, not yours.

BitOfFun · 09/05/2009 23:13

Run for the hills m'dear, honestly. You'll kick yourself if you don't, really.

kidowner · 09/05/2009 23:20

You are probably emotionally torn because you thought he was so nice.

It's when the honeymoon period is over that you get to see a person's true soul.

Imagine if you forgave him, or thought it was your fault he got so angry. Then you would stutter even more because of the stress and the fact you'd have to walk on eggshells for the rest of your days for fear of angering him.

You would not be able to express yourself again for fear of his negative reaction.

There is no future for you and this insensitive, inconsiderate, meanspirited and selfish type of man.

But you very lucky that you found out now rather than later to find out his true character.

Please trust your instincts and never contact him again even if he apologises.

BottySpottom · 09/05/2009 23:50

I agree with everyone else totally. Please bin him. Like one other poster, it's really made me quite angry too.