Relationship zombie plans.

[oncebit]

My husband did something I never would have expected the other night. He physically hurt me (it's on another thread) no point in going into it again here .

I've also been reading the threads here from women who's husbands left them out of the blue-i'm sure they didn't expect that either. It's all very upsetting.

I was wondering whether all the women here who have been abandoned by their dh's or who have legal knowledge would be willing to contribute to this thread with a view towards sharing ideas about how to best protect their assets should worst come to worst.

Call it a relationship zombie plan.

We have a joint mortgage
We have a joint bank account
We have everything jointly.

Am I safe enough? I don't really know.

Hi,

I am in a very happy marriage but because I am a sahm with no income, therefore I feel more in control if as you say everything is in joint names, I control the childrens savings and do all paperwork and finances. I am also retraining so I could if necessary support myself and my children.

As you say it's a zombie plan as I have no intention of ever getting divorced but it makes me feel more in control.

I know it's not exactly what you're asking but I would say the most important thing is to make sure you have somewhere safe you can go to when you leave. Ideally somewhere he would not think to look for you, or can't get to easily.

Money and assets are of course important to consider in this situation but materially you can start again as long as you and your DC/s are safe and supported.

You have a lot in your favour, being married. I am sorry I have no more practical advice.
How are things since the incident?

go to the womens aid website. they have a really good booklet on surviving violence that you can download, and/or you can find your local helpline on it and call them to talk to someone. they have lots of information.
cover up your internet usage, so your partner doesn't know you have visited this website. after using the computer go to 'tools' at the top, click on it, go to 'options' and then click on 'privacy'. change history to '0 days', tick the 'clear private data' box. i think all computers are more or less the same.
best of luck.
x

www.womensaid.org.uk/landing_page.asp?section=000100010028

there. its called 'The Survivors Handbook'.