Do I meet this friend or not?

[Confuzzeled]

Okay so a bit of backgroud -

I've been moaning allot about my friends who have generally been crap since my dd was born. I'm really lonely and struggle to get into town on the bus while pregnant and have 2yo dd.

This friend has canceled on me a few times in favor of her bf, really crappy excuses too. She had a messy split with her old dp shortly after my dd was born. I made such an effort to support her while struggling with a non-sleeper and pnd. I even helped her move flat and tried to get her out and about again. So after a while she started going out, meeting people and I couldn't go out much because of dd. After a while she stopped asking me to come out and I would occasionally meet her for lunch. She then got heavily involved with new bf who is very controlling and not very keen on me.

She emailed me asking if I want to meet for lunch tomorrow or go for a walk in the city center park.

I have been in town yesterday and today and my bump is quite sore. I was planning a day at home tomorrow to rest and do house stuff.

I do want to see her because I miss her, but I'm so bloody angry with her for not responding when I've said I'm lonely and struggling. If I go tomorrow I'll have to go by bus and it's always a faff. I don't want to try and talk to her about it all because I'll get teary and end up being an emotional mess. If I ask her to come to my house I know she'll say she doesn't have time etc because I live quite far out of town.

I'm tempted to send a nasty email back saying, oh now you can spare me a few hours, how generous of you Princess Selfish Tits.

What do I do?

no, don't go. ask her to come to your house. explain you're really feeling ill but you'd love to see her.

you never know, she might surprise you but if she doesn't, maybe it's time to move on and find some friends who are worth the effort.

some people are more takers than givers and cant seem to cope with friends in need, which is what your friend sounds like

i would contact her and say you would love to see her but the way you feel atm is making it v difficult for you to get out, and could she possibly come to you this one time

tell her you miss seeing her but right now unless she can come to you , you dont know when you will be able to meet again

don't send the email unless you are writing off the friendship - is that what you'd like to do? Which is ok if that's what you want.

certainly don't kill yourself trying to accomodate her! If you don't want to tell her to bog off, then an email saying "Love to see you, but I am tired and sore atm, with the pregnancy, and not up to getting a bus into town and being on my feet all day, I'm sure you understand. However, you could always come to me for a coffee, if you want to meet up."

I know you say she'll say no, but at least that's her cancelling and not you

is she really that much of a friend when she only wants you at her convinience and won't do anything that puts her out, even slightly?

Yup, your all right, I'll email her and ask her to come to me.

Thanks

I don't think you really understand how tiring pregnancy can be until you've been there. Sounds to me like to need to park your relationship with her for a while and concentrate of finding other mum friends who have lifestyles more like yours. She might be pregnant one day and will understand then - if you carry on like this you will wreck your friendship for good.