She just called him on his phone (he left it at home) think my marriage is over - please talk to me

[naivemum]

I am shaking, in shock feel sick

I posted on her a year or so a go, my H had been having an 'emotional affair' with someone at work - he vows they never slept together.
He says they kissed when v drunk at xmas party. ususal story. I found lots of texts and emails between them. Not particularly intimate, but made me feel uncomfortable.
He all the while claimed they were just friends. It went on like this for 6 months.
It was only when I found an email from him declaring how much she meant to him, that I finally had proof of his real feelings for her.
I threatened to throw him out, but we had 2 children, i wanted to make it work and thought he was basically a good person that had let himself get carried away in the excitememt of someone showing an interest in him.
The following day I found out I was pregnant with our 3rd child. Not the best timing
The pregnancy went fine and DD is now 5 months old. I saw no reason to think he wasn't being homest with me, that he had nothing more to do with her, he has been trying to find another job as well.

Then today he left his phone at home. I saw a missed call, i knew the number instantly.
I have been trying to call him since, but he is not at his desk, I was so wound up, i ended up calling her back on his phone and asked why she had called this number, she hung up.
I was so angry she hung up, I left her a really nasty voicemail. prob not my best move, but I did it in anger.
I am still waiting for H to call me back.
Don't know how to deal with this now.
Do I call it a day??? I can't trust him H e has taken me for a fool AGAIN.
I am totally numb right now
someone please talk to me

ah right, I was sure that would help!
How are things now? I agree about the business like hello - if DH called me at work I would at least answer with a friendly "Hi"

How are you today naivemum?

[and CRINGE at the typos in my post from yesterday]

Try this - turn up at his work with the childen in tow - if you cant bring all three make sure you bring the baby.
Have a good excuse - something important he has forgotten or to take him to lunch.
Introduce yourself and the baby to everyone and I mean everyone in the office.
Be charming and lovely - no scenes
If anything is going on - it will be very hard for them to carry on without everyone knowing that it is endangering a young family.
If she is being nasty - every one will see what she is being like and if both of them are involved it will be uncomfortable to say the least.
Once people see you are a family with babies - its a lot more real than the abstract concept

I'm ok thanks.
I am still not 100% it has brought everything back to the surface, that I had managed to keep buried for so long.
The more I think about it, the more I see I have to accept his explaination.
I do not want our family to split up. He is adamant, that his family is everything to him and he realises that he messed up previously and he wouldn't risk it again.
When I think about the number of times hes gone out and left his phone behind, when I could have checked it, should i have wanted to, makes me hope that he has nothing to hide anymore.
Thankyou everyone for calming me down and being supportive.....I hope this is the last you hear from naivemum (I name changed to talk about this for obvious reasons)