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Original poster

How many lovers have you had?

107 replies

austinsmam · 27/04/2009 20:46

And have you ever discussed it with current partner.

OP posts:
oxocube · 30/04/2009 17:22

adad. Hope I didn't offend

sayithowitis · 30/04/2009 17:24

Just the one, and since that is DH, there was no need for 'the conversation'. We were virgins when we met and have remained faithful to each other for over 30 years now.

adadwithnoname · 30/04/2009 17:31

no offence taken Oxo! I'd never tell any of my male friends, because quite simply theu wouldn't beleive me. I take the view that some people haven't drunk wine in their lives, they don't miss it. If you see what I mean.

TigersChick · 30/04/2009 17:37

9
Did talk about it with DH many years ago but we were both fairly drunk so don'tkow if he remembers. He's about the same.

oxocube · 30/04/2009 17:39

adadwithnoname, I have just read your other posts and am very sorry for your situation. I think it happens more often than we realise, but 10 years without any kind of intimacy is sooo long . (And my 'whisper' to you would be that under the circumstances, you should grab any chance offered to 'take the wine' as the way you are living is unfair and is clearly making you very unhappy)

jeminthecity · 30/04/2009 17:41

ADADwithnoname- NO!!

Littlepurpleprincess · 30/04/2009 17:42

2 and very proud of it. I am only 20 and there seems to be an attitude amongst people my age (not all, but most) that sex is for fun, the more the merrier, the higher the number the more smug you can be, but I hate this culture.

Me and DP have had the conversation but he hated it. It doesn't bother me though, I asked him if he was a virgin the day he asked me out, on msn. lol.

PolkSaladLucie · 30/04/2009 17:42

1 - my husband. I'm his 8th...

mosschops30 · 30/04/2009 17:44

About 30, although up until I was 21 it was only 3 (i had a few mad years after that )
Sometimes I try and remember them all when I cant sleep, a bit like counting sheep although less fun

yes dh knows, I didnt ever want anyone else to tell him I was a bit of a slut at one point in my life

adadwithnoname · 30/04/2009 17:48

oxo - nah, I couldn't do that - actually I probably can't even remember where everything is.

Jem - eh? what?

wotulookinat · 30/04/2009 17:50

About 20. My partner is about the same. We were friends for 10 years before we got together, so we knew about most of each other's 'mis-haps' before anyway.

NickCleggg · 30/04/2009 17:51

"Not more than 30..."

twopeople · 30/04/2009 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jeminthecity · 30/04/2009 19:06

ADadWithNoName- That was my response to you never having had oral?

x

adadwithnoname · 30/04/2009 19:31

god, I feel like I've ended up on a Channel 5 version of "I've never seen star wars"

Is it really so strange?

Meglet · 30/04/2009 19:41
  1. And I'm 34.
jeminthecity · 30/04/2009 20:37

ADAD- sorry, don't want you to feel strange at all, that was NOT my intention, and I apologise, but, yeah, I do find it difficult that you have never received oral- it's a pre-requisite as far as I'm concerned, and I'm a lass...sorry.

twoclimbingboys · 30/04/2009 21:46

to the op - 2 and yes. DH has had far, far more than me, but i'm not complaining I just take advantage of his 'experience'!

adadwithnoname · 30/04/2009 21:50

I have to admit, reviewing my sexual history doesn't exactly make me feel "normal". In fact, I think the word may be "inadequate" - that's not your fault oxo, by any means. I feel like I just passed the port to the right though. Sorry, you can't talk about this sort of stuff with men, they think you are either joking, or just pathetic.

GogosCrazyBones · 30/04/2009 21:52

1

DH knows it is him .

heverhoney1 · 30/04/2009 22:03

adad I have to admit I am curious to know morw - I feel bad if I am not up for it for a couple of weeks and I am full term pregnant! How on earth do you put up with the lack of intamacy and more to the point how does she???

adadwithnoname · 30/04/2009 22:15

In a nutshell, I don't, I'm going slightly mental I think, and she has lovers. Could someone hand my self-esteem back in to lost property please?

lottiebunny · 30/04/2009 22:29
  1. Wish it was 1 though. DP was a virgin when we met and from the moment that I realised he was the one I've wanted to completely erase No1.

Silly thing is I thought I was ready the first time and looking back I really wasn't. Its the only thing in my life I'm ashamed of.

heverhoney1 · 30/04/2009 22:34

How are you maintaining a relationship? do you have physical issues? I am sorry to be so nosey but you seem so unhappy and noone should have to live feeling unwanted or lonely within a relationship - man or woman!

In answer to the OP 2 - My DP and 1 other - I regret neither as they were right at the time. I regret how long the first relationship lasted though, lack of self esteem trapped me there where I was not really wanted.

adadwithnoname · 30/04/2009 22:41

ooer hever, I've sort of run through this before in another thread, and I don't want to hijack this one anymore than I already have, but I love her, we have a family and committments, and because of that I don't feel that I can tear everything apart just because she doesn't find me attractive. I wish she did, and I find it hard sometimes to beleive that she loves me, though she says she does. I cry a lot.

The lover, or lovers, or whatever it is are a recent thing.

I'm going to back gently away from this thread, if you're generally curious then fine, CAT me, it sort of helps to tell people, because it is a humiliating secret as much as it is a humiliating truth.