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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

He's gone feeling numb

6 replies

debs05 · 26/04/2009 00:30

We have had a long discussion tonight about his affairs and me not being able to move on and he has said that he cant stand to see me in this much pain and has gone.

Im feeling quite numb and scared of being on my own with 5 kids, although he will support us. Im not sure what to think as all my friends think we have moved on, I dont want any-one to know. Could do with some words of wisdom.

OP posts:

AbricotsSecs · 26/04/2009 00:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 26/04/2009 00:38

Bad as it feels right now, please try to hold the thought that this is a turning point, and the only way is up from here. You will look back on tonight at some point in the future and see it as the point when you started rebuilding your life, free of a self-obsessed man who has no respect for you.
Can you do something nice with the kids tomorrow, have a day out somewhere? Then on Monday get yourself some legal advice so that you know where you stand (selfish unkind men frequently come out with lots of bullshit about how they won't pay maintenance, will take the children, will throw you into the street etc, but when you know the legal position you can't be hurt or stressed by this sort of nonsense.)
Good luck. ONe day at a time, it will get better.

SOLOisMeredithGrey · 26/04/2009 00:40

No words, but sending hugs and support to you. You can do it on your own even if you don't want to. From your earlier thread, it sounds like you need at least a break from your H.

I still haven't told my parents that I've split with Dd's father and it's almost 6 months on...I went through a stage of not wanting to talk about it at all...so I didn't until I was ready. It will all change for you too. You'll talk when you want/need to.

Original poster

debs05 · 26/04/2009 00:45

Thanks Ive just checked on the kids and Im feeling really sad. He has been very kind with his words and took full responsibility for everything. Although he is a betraying husband he would never turn his back on us, Im not sure where to go from here.

Im at college Mon and will sort out legal advice later in the week, (most of my class are single mums) they have been through the last year with me and my ups and downs. Thanks for the support. My oldest has his GCSE's soon so dont want too much drama. God life is shitty. He never realised how much I loved him and infact how much he loved me and now its all too late.

OP posts:

SOLOisMeredithGrey · 26/04/2009 02:02

It's true what they say...

'You don't know what you've got until it's gone'.

He'll know it too.

StirlingTheStrong · 26/04/2009 14:21

So Sorry for you Debs. Dont think I can say anything to help but wanted you to know that I hope things turn out well for you.

Agree with solidgold that you will see this as a turning point in the future. You can feel in limbo whilst you are unsure of where you stand but if you have been brave enough to make a decision, part of you must feel a bit better, even if it isn't the outcome you originally wanted.

Feeling a bit low on strength myself at the moment but sending some your way anyway!

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