In laws gone to bed, took them 3 hours to start bitching about my parenting techniques

[FiveGoMadInDorset]

Hey Ho.

DH has just said at least I wasn't disapponted

Are they staying with you then?

oh I feel for you, my hacklles are rising at the thought of my ils

Oh yes, but only for one night so they will be gone tomorrow. It was just DD is on holiday has had a few erratic days out and does tend to get overexcited when people come over (Tuesday when my nephew and DS Godfather came over) and tonight, she doesn't see them often so we let her stay up so they could all spend some time together. They arrived at 6 and by 8 were very pointedly talking about how they did bedtimes with their children, so I did tell them that it was a special occasion and she is usually in bed by 7.30 so I hink it is sad that they didn't want to spend time with her. The bright side is that we run a B&B so they have offered to pay as they are taking up a room that we would have let out.

Cheeky feckers.

Oh, I do sympathise.

MIL staying with us at the mo.

So far she has sniped at my 4 yr old DS non stop. He is four, FFS. She seems to have forgotten what 4 yr olds are like and gets intensely annoyed if he doesn't sit silently for hours at a time and kiss/cuddle her on demand. I wouldnt mind, but she sees him once or twice a year. Play with him. be nice to him. For crying out loud, you frosty beeyatch! ...

She has also banged on on a daily basis about me weaning my 22 week old ('She looks hungry. A bit of banana wouldnt hurt, would it?' ...every 5 mins. Grrr. Give me strength! She tried ton feed my DS Ribena and rich tea biscuits when he was about 3 months old, btw, so I trust her weaning advice about as much as I trust fashion advice from Sue bloody Pollard).

I have also had my weight, clothes, housekeeping skills and random members of my family criticised.

Ho fucking hum. Only another TWO months to go ( kid you not).

She is stying with you for another 2 months

I thin what made it worse was that instead of turning up in the afternoon, they went to the pub

Oh and moaning about her table manners.

I love my parents so does DH he really hets stressed when his come here.

TWO months! Bloody hell!

DH has just siad that justifiable homicide springs to mind.

Have you considred using a very useful psychological technique to deal with this? One that is aimed to help overly critical people to reflect on their behaviour.

The "OH JUST BLOODY SHUT UP!" method: Just close your eyes and think that in your head when they say something critical. One day, like a Freudian slip, it will be shouted out loud from your mouth by accident, and you can say "Oh did I say that out loud, you must think me awfully rude, I usually just try to think it quietly in my head. "

At least DH agrees with you, so you can have a laugh about how appalling they are. Sorry, I dont mean really do it, but come on... makes you smile thinking about it doesnt it??!!

PMSL at " I usually just try to think it quietly in my head"

Someone once advised me to say calmly and pleasantly "That sounded very rude - did you mean it to?".

It works brilliantly.

whereismumhiding loved that post, and yes very thankful that DH feels the same, and now I can breathe as they have gone.

FGMID have a bottle of wine with DH tonight to celebrate! Your DH sounds lovely xx

God you are a lovely d-i-l lol

I absofuckiglutely would never EVER have my in-laws to stay.

Thankfully they don't like DH or I and are just about lukewarm to my 4 beautiful dc so i will never have this problem.

MrsM, sorry to be nosey but WHY (OH WHY) are your in laws staying for 2 MONTHS?

I have just told DH that after a couple of times when my in laws stayed for a weekend, that it was too much and I could only handle them (well MIL mainly, FIL is fine) for a maximum of a day at a time every few months. Luckily he agreed so it's not a problem.

BTW, I love the "just bloody shut up" method of handling critical MIL's, but I think I will actually use the calm and polite "That was very rude/insensetive/tactless, did you mean to be so rude/insensetive/tactless?" method next time MIL is over.

Trouble is I always have the best of intentions of putting her in her place whenever she is critical but I always find that at the time I am actually rendered speechless by her rudeness and go completely dumb. It is usually only after she has gone that I find my tongue and usually end up having a rant at DH about his mother.

i've got godzilla docking on friday-she's a fucking awful woman-dp can't see anything weird/wrong/utterly fucked up with her-despite the fact that anyone else who observes her is jaw dropped at her rudeness/oddness.
and she pisses all over my toilet seat and wipes half of it dry (just so she knows i know she's seen it and left half for me to do) Breathes roll on sunday when she fucks off back down south is all i say...

sleeplessinstretford - have you namechanged?

nope-i am relatively new-porkay?

Haven't seen you on before.Hello!

hey-how you doing?
i seem to be an equal ops offender on some subjects...you may want to step away...