To avoid the need for any more vitriolic MIL threads where poor misguided mothers of men are clearly going horribly wrong, I thought I would collate all your helpful rules for mother in laws into a single thread. Please feel free to add your own.
Note: These tips are based on my many years of arduous research reading Mumsnet.
Before the birth
- You may not tell dil that she looks tired or that her bump is growing. To dil this means you look like a big fat frump and not good enough for my darling ds.
- You may not tell dil she looks great. You are clearly not appreciating how tired and heavy she is feeling.
- You may NOT TOUCH DIL?s BUMP. EVER.
After the birth
- You may not expect to be invited to see the new baby on the day its born. Or the day after. Or the day after that. If you are lucky you may be allowed to pop in briefly (with presents) on about the 4th day when the REAL grandparents have gone.
- You may not comment that the baby looks like ds at that age. You are clearly not acknowledging that the baby is perfect, beautiful and just like dil.
- You may not bring as presents baby clothes (you clearly disapprove of dil?s baby style - how can she be expected to dress her pfb in that?), nappies (you disapprove of dils plans to use washables), bottles/ steriliser (HOW DARE YOU?).
- You may just be allowed to buy an expensive pram but only if this has not been bagsied as a present to be given by the real grandparents.
Growing grandchildren
- You may not help out at dil?s house. This is INTERFERING and implies she is not doing a good job.
- You may not visit dil?s house and expect to be fed a meal or any change in her pfb?s routine. She can?t just drop everything ? she has a baby, you know.
10. You may not pick up or otherwise hold pfb. This is disturbing and upsetting for all concerned and undermines dil?s parenting skills.
11. You may not buy extravagant gifts for pfb. This spoils pfb and undermines dil?s carefully planned regime of carrot sticks as rewards.
12. You may not buy cheapskate reduced items or pass on manky hand me downs to pfb. You clearly don?t value his/her unique wonderfulness enough.
13. You may not give pfb an affectionate nickname or otherwise abbreviate his/her (six syllabled pompous) given name. You do not have the right.
14. You may not expect to be visited on Mothers Day. You are no longer a REAL mother, you are now a mother in law. This does not count.
15. You may not chastise or in any way show any disapproval of pfb?s atrocious behaviour; whilst you may also not let pfb ?get away with murder? when you are kindly given permission to babysit.
16. Above all even if you forget all the other rules - the one golden rule. You may not pass comment or judgement, have any opinion or experience of any aspect of childcare. It will only end in tears.
please add your own.